In Chains' plan and blog thread

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 23

Today I am happy. unexpectedly and out of the blue, I woke up this morning, and I felt sad, and then the day went on and all I could think about was my fiance, and everytime i thought of him i smiled. So thats what I'm doing now, I'm not thinking about me, I'm thinking about him, my whole world, and if I have to be sober I'll be sober for him, and if I need help I'll get it because it will make him happy too.

I had some good news today too. The Salvation Army have accepted my application to trace my father, the ball is rolling, hopefully soon I'll know for better or worse what happened. I'd like that I think.

Today is day 23. And I think I might like it...

[scottish lass]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Great to see a positive post IC! I am happy to see this from you - i fell on 21 days in April, and was so worried that you would slip as well, but you have been strong and teh last couple of days will only make you stronger! be well, keep smiling and be safe!:goodjob:

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 24

Very tired and its vey late so just wanted to say quickly I am doing great, very happy today but won't be on tomorrow because i'm spending time with t'other half, see ya'll friday

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 28

So, still sober and made it through two challenges, one expected (the party) and another one not. This evening I got into a small row with my older sister, nothing unusual, fairly mild in fact. Unfortunately she did not seem to agree with the general consensus on the thign as a minor disagreement and thus threw me to the floor, punched me repeatedly whilst attemptign to strangle me. Probably not the best evening i've ever had.

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 35

well theres quite a big gap here i must admit, n thats for 2 reasons. Firstly, I ahve been very busy this week due to upcoming exams, univeristy arrangements etc. And secondly is because I haven't been feeling particuarly of this world this last week.

So when I posted about a challenge I face last week I am aware that most people thought I was exagerating, so let me make it clear. I had a small row with my sister, something I thought was over. An hour later she begins to verbally assault me, she follows me to my room, destroys some of my belongings and then stares at me for a few seconds. Then she punches me - hard. I fall to the ground and she wraps her arm around my neck and is squeezign and pulling and twisting and punching me with her free hand. I can't breathe to scream, my brother drags her away and I am left alone, crying on my bedroom floor. The following day she admitted to my mother this had been, as it felt to me at the time, an attempt to kill me - no reason was given as to why. Had even one thign been different that night, I wouldn't be here. And thats somethign I'm finding hard to deal with - can anything ever be as real as (what I thought were) my last moments on earth? will I ever feel safe again? what if things had gone differently? and what if it happens again?

I don't think my life will ever be the same

xIC

[momof3]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

In Chains,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. There is never any excuse for violence such as that. Your sister has some serious problems. Is it possible for you to stay away from her? Can you enlist support from your brother to keep her away from you?

:l

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 37

hey everyone, just to let you know i am doing fine, actually really loving being af right now, happier, calmer, just enjoying life more then I ever did drunk actually. Don't even know how that happened, never thought i'd say that. Don't really miss drinking either, actually, have discovered the absolute best tasting drink - a combination of sparkling white and red grape juice, beats a pint any day of the week. Anywho, busy busy so probably won't be aroung again til Thursday at the earliest

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 44

So holy hell tomorrows the day right? 45 days. Target day. A personal record for the last 7-8 years. The phrase F*ck me doesn't even begin to cover how amazed I am I got here, funny thing is until today I hardly thought about it. I have a little reminder every sunday that its another week down and suddenly I'm thinking 'well damn target days in sight'. Guess I've had alot of trouble getting here, but then somehow that all seems worth it, i can see now what i couldn't see before which is that i really do enjoy life sober. I still sleep less, I have more energy than before, I feel calmer and can cope with the world so much easier. Thats not to say that I won't be getting absolutely hammered this weekend at the mighty download festival :P But as for after that? Well ya'll will just have to come have a looksee on this here thread on that magical day 45 to see what my plans are now won't you?

xIC

[InChains]

In Chains' plan and blog thread

Day 45

Hallo all, from day 45, the target. Best I’ve ever done, still surprises me I got here, after all I’ve been through. Spent what could’ve been the bets years of my life drunk, depressed and in a daze. I don’t mind though, end of the day what’s gone is gone - I’m just glad I woke up. It’s been hard, hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s worth it to be here, to be able to find my own path in life, see myself in the mirror instead of the hangover, the bleary eyes, the waster. Today is a new day, and tomorrow will be too.

So I guess the question a few of you might be thinking of asking is ‘are you going to start drinking again? What’s the plan?’ well let me tell you - I’m going to drink with friends, I’m going to drink at festivals, on birthdays and on special occasions (and I mean the real ones, anniversaries, holidays that kind of thing not the ‘well its Monday and I’m tired’ kind of special occasions xD) but normally? During the week? Well hell no, that’s not me, I’m not going tog o back there, I never want to do this again. Oh its been great these last couple of weeks don’t get me wrong I feel the best I ever had, feel all the better because I spent the month preceding that in a wreck somewhere between shaking nauseas insomniac and depressive aggressive nervous breakdown in waiting. I’m not doing that again - I’m not -being- that again.

So, here’s to my new life, and let me just say I couldn’t have done it without you. I want to give my special thanks to my friends from the army thread, and of course DG (or forum mum which is how I tend to think of you xD). This is probably it for a while from me - off to a festival, exams coming up, but I’ll be back real soon

xIC