Only Human (13 weeks later)

[damo180]

Only Human (13 weeks later)

RedJib;1108327 wrote: Hey Softy, glad you were able stay in control of the AL, instead of the other way around. That's great!

Reading your note made me realize something. I'm closing in on 110 days AF, and for the past two weeks, I find myself thinking about AL less often than I have in at least ten years--and I'm including drinking and sober days in that decade. Some notion about AL will pop into my head for a moment, but I'm able to leave it and easily resume thinking about other things, my activities, plans, etc. This is entirely new to me.

But I don't mistake it for thinking that I'm now in control of AL. I think I need to ask a long term abstainer about this, somebody who's been sober for a year or two. It occurs to me that this new, non-obsessive thinking about AL is the gradual and cumulative effect of establishing new habits, and that it will continue to grow as long as I'm not drinking. Even without testing myself, though, something makes me certain that if I tried to start moderating, I'd end up in that same old obsessive thinking about AL all the time. I hated that as much as the physical and psychological effects of drinking; my own mind, my consciousness, was so wrapped up in AL that I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

If you've got that beat and you can let AL back into your life without all that strife returning, well Softy, you have my total respect (with a big dose of envy, truth to tell.) I wish you much success with your plan.

Jib

Cheers RJ,

I am AF about 120 days and I am having similar thoughts to you at the moment.

Hope all are well

Damo

[mario]

Only Human (13 weeks later)

Hi damo how doing you

[sunshinetoday]

Only Human (13 weeks later)

HIya Softy,

I am impressed by your path. I think it takes a lot of courage to go AF. I think it also takes a lot of courage to moderate. Right now I am trying the AF stage. Someday I would like to try the moderate stage. I don't know when that will be, but it is a test for me I will have to find my own answers for when the time comes. So I thank you for sharing your posts, your thoughts, and your journey. Good luck to you!

[vintage girl]

Only Human (13 weeks later)

Softy, just wanted to say I am glad you managed to stop when you wanted to. And staying on the water at the BBQ, that's great.

Like the others have said, I am a little envious. I don't have the courage right now to attempt moderation (don't know if I ever will, if the truth be told. I really am that scared of going back to where I was!)

I hope this works out for you, I really do, and I am full of admiration for you for sharing this with us.

[AAthlete]

Only Human (13 weeks later)

Softy;1108322 wrote: ....At the end of my third pint my brain tried to trick me into the old "one more won't do any harm". I knew I wouldn't but wanted to test Mrs Softy's determination to help. She had had two glasses of wine. So I asked if we should have one for the road and she went mental on me. Told me not to be stupid and if this was the way it was going to be then all the hard work would be undone. I knew she was right and this was the reaction I had hoped for.

Softy, as others have said you have to follow your own path and figure out what works for you. However, first and foremost we need to make sure that we are honest with ourselves, which was always a HUGE issue for me. When I read your statement above, my first thought was "that's not what I would have been thinking, I would have secretly been hoping she would say let's have one more." Be careful not to put the responsibility for your sobriety on her shoulders - if she had said yes it would have then be easier to blame any over-consumption on her.

Best of luck to you in your journey, and congrats on your wonderful success to date!