Confidence in social situations

[satin]

Hi, Today is 40 days AF for me. I'm realising that alcohol gave me confidence in social situations, and I'm avoiding going out, even shopping and seeing my 2 friends, but then feel lonely and that everyone else is enjoying life. I'm a quiet person, prefering small groups of people, the thought of a large party etc with out alcohol terrifies me. Hubby wants to go to the pub this evening to celebrate the Royal Wedding, but I know I will feel uncomfortable, (he drinks and says its my decision if I don't want to). I'm loving not having hangovers, looking better, early mornings etc, so any advice would be welcome. Thanks, Satin.

[damo180]

Confidence in social situations

Firstly Satin, congratulations on 40 days.
I know how tough it can be in the first few weeks, but isnt it great to wake up each morning feelling great and hangover free.
I still find socialising in the pub difficult, so maybe go a little later and leave early.
I now prefer to go for a meal or cinema or a concert, but need to compromise on occasions if there is a party or family occasion etc on.
Also sometimes its the thoughts of these that are daunting but when you get there you may enjoy the night.
But I would strongly recommend leaving a little early, it can be a pain getting nabbed by the loudest drunk in the pub.

Hope you have an enjoyable sober weekend.
And congrats again on your 40 days....keep building those days

Damo in Dublin

[satin]

Confidence in social situations

Thanks Damo for your understanding advice, especially how you know how tough it is and you are spot on with, its the thought of going thats so daunting. I feel much better already and I will remind myself of your post when I'm out this evening. Thanks again. Satin

[Lavande]

Confidence in social situations

Hi satin,

Congrats on your 40 AF days, very good
Honestly, I stayed hidden in my home for the first 2 1/2-3 months. I needed to build up my confidence & practice saying 'No thank you' to an offer of a drink - that worked for me!

Enjoy your hangover free mornings & looking better, etc. Don't worry about what's in other people's glasses just yours & you'll do just fine.

Enjoy your weekend

Lav

[mario]

Confidence in social situations

Well done on 40 days, good job,it will take a while for you to be able to socialse around other drinkers,I think the biggest problem is people have forgotten that you can still have fun while sober. So it has just become a social crutch, but in fairness they have been brainwashed by our culture into thinking that it is a social norm.

[leaveinsilence]

Confidence in social situations

hi satin i hope you enjoyed a lovely af night, waking up sober the next the next day is such a wonderful feeling. i found i have more confidence nowadays without al , walkibg into a pub was daunting even with a few drinks inside me but i am actually much happier doing it sober nowadays

don't miss out on ocassions like these because everyone else will be drinking have the strength in yourself to do what you want and be sober

[hillsidetime]

Confidence in social situations

Hi Satin, you should be proud of your 40 days, great work.

The psychological aspects of going sober, are not all expected, and certainly difficult. I expected the physiological ones, but not the vast remainder. You are not alone in how you feel. Many of us, used alcohol to help us in large groups / social settings etc.

In time, my comfort at these events has started to increase, and I hope yours does too. I find myself jealous, as well, of the "fun" others have while drinking. Slowly, I am letting myself open up, and enjoy myself at these occasions, while sober. Hang in there.

The benefits of being sober, are so great, I would not change it for the world. Yes there are challenges, but I will take them any day.

You can do it,
Hill