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    #1

    Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

    Hi everyone,

    I've been on this site for three days now. I think I've read at least four hours of posts and threads and I'd like to share where my head is at now.

    I have always been known at party's or get togethers, to say at one minute past noon "who fancies a glass of sunshine then?" The party girl, the one always up for it.

    What I realise is that for all of us on this site it is not a glass of sunshine at all but bottles of poison.

    We are addicts and I am really trying to get my head around the fact that I cannot just have a glass of sunshine or two. I have to have a couple of bottles plus what ever else I can find and it is disgusting, horrid and poisinous (sorry for spelling). It's not healthy or fun or happy, it's all so indulgent, selfish and sad.

    My head is turning. My attitude towards the booze is changing. It's bad and it has to go. We are all unhappy so STOP. Easier said then done. (I sit here a bottle down).

    I'm surrounded by a family of drinkers so god knows how I'm going to do this but I have to for my ickle children. Pls let my starter pack come soon.

    Can someone give me hope that I will forget about booze and see a day when it's not the most important thing in my mind?

    lol
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    #2
    Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

    I raise my hand and for hope! I was where you are. There has NEVER been a time - not even in my early drinking years - where one or two "glasses of sunshine" was enough for me. NEVER.

    I was a daily drinker and quite a party girl through the years. Then AL took it's toll on me. The party was too much effort. It became more comfortable to just drink alone. In the end, I was pouring my first drink at 6AM if I could. What a sad and lonely and pathetic place to end up.

    That is all changed and by quitting drinking, I have my life back. It was hard. I'm an alcoholic and I wanted BADLY to drink. I didn't get it right on the first try. But God willing, I will celebrate 3 years of continuous sobriety one week from tomorrow. Believe me, if I can stop drinking, I know you can do it to.

    Hope? Absolutely. Be willing to make your sobriety your #1 priority. Be willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking. I ended up having to do some things I initially said I would not do. But I finally did them, and here I am. You can do it too.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

    One day at a time.

    Comment

      #3
      Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

      Think of it not as a glass of 'sunshine' but a glass of 'HELL'!!!!

      Keep working on changing your thinking & write down a plan to reduce your intake a little day by day. Stick to your plan ~ it's worth the effort
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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        #4
        Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

        Hi JoeB sounds like you are getting things worked out.

        I think about al prob most days but now the difference is that I think of it with loathing and not with any desire to have some. I think I am scared of it now!!! (I have cultivated this attitude to help me with my choices) One glass will put me back where I don't want to be and I know this because I tried it out many times. It is amazing how al takes over your thoughts actions and life. Everything revolves around getting it, drinking it, recovering, getting some more, getting rid of the bottles etc etc. Ugh enough!!

        I am 93 days (thereabouts) continuous al free and have discovered there is life after al.

        Hope this helps

        Maz
        Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

        Comment

          #5
          Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

          Glass of poison.

          It sounds to me that you are doing a really good job of shifting your thinking. Doesn't it feel strange to come to terms and take all the positive spins out of all the nick names we use to call alcohol? It's amazing to be free from this addiction for a while and really enjoy a sunny day clean. Best of luck to you. You sound really strong.

          Comment

            #6
            Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

            Tomorrow is going to be my Day 1

            Thank you so much all. I've decided to make tomorrow my first day AF. Even if my starter pack doesn't come. Anyone wan to join me? x

            Comment

              #7
              Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

              Hi Joeb,
              That is outstanding that in just 3 days of being on the site your thinking has shifted. Good luck on your first AF say!

              Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

              Comment

                #8
                Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

                I really admire you for even making the effort to shift your thinking. I started out this week really proud of myself that I managed TWO days alcohol free and then fell off the wagon again and ate humble pie.

                I hope personally I'm realising that trying to come off AL altogether is a process and true to my user name, I need to start again today. Start afresh. I have a plan, went to see the nutritionist this week, and due to see them again in two weeks, so some things are shifting. I am drinking much more water as advised.

                But there is a think about putting that bottle down/pouring what you have away - and being kind enough to yourself (myself) to say, it is okay, the past is the past and giving yourself the chance to start again. I think I'm really saying this to myself and hoping for some encouragement from out there. Baby steps for us all?

                So it is DAY 1 AF for me once again...:thanks::goodjob:

                Comment

                  #9
                  Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

                  So yes, I'll join you!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

                    Come on!

                    Startafresh, I love the name!

                    In some ways I feel I'm committing to people today on this site. It might give me the strength and extra guilt factor for me to do this tomorrow.

                    I can't imagine how i'll do it but going to give it my best first go. Already chickening out of telling my husband about all this.
                    He arrives home tonight after being away for 5 days. I feel like in his absence I've been on a real journey with the help of all those on this site.

                    Fingers crossed and stay strong. I'll be in touch on Tues AM, hopefully with my first AF day behind me. Pleeeeeeeeeeease let this work xfor both of us x

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Glass of Sunshine or Glass of poison

                      Best of luck I hope your evening went well. I needed to keep my sobriety to myself for the first 7 days. It is scary to tell the ones we love what we are going to try and do. I don't really know why it is so scary but it is. You've got a lot of courage.

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