is this supposed to happen?

[Ilex]

does this happen to anyone else?

I log on here (currently miday ish) and enjoy reading everybody's messages and postings - but then start getting 'twitchy' because I'm thinking about drinking and then I want one - I don't normally think like this during the middle of the day!

Is this normal? I then think that I can't drink tonight anyway as I'm going out to a meeting - feel slightly disappointed - then think about not going out so that I can stay and have a drink (dismissed quickly admittedly) - and then get cross with myself that I'm thinking any of the above thoughts in the first place!

Possibly I have the beginnings of physical addiction then? Or maybe it's psychological? Who knows - sometimes I think I think too much and should just get on with my life - but possibly alcohol is holding me back?

Ilex x

[chile]

is this supposed to happen?

This used to happen to me when I went to AA meetings. I went for a year and that was the year I drank the heaviest. Sitting around every night talking about drinking made me so want to drink. I know it helps a lot of people, but it was a disaster for me. This site does not have that affect on me. I don't know why.

[roguehawkfan]

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Talking about it in a AA setting was the hardest for me also. Why re-hash all the crap you did when you were drinking when you cant do anything about it? I like this site because if a particular post doesnt sit well with you then you just move on to the next post. In AA you were almost held captive and HAD to listen to everyone`s "drunkalog".

[Kitty]

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Hi Ilex

I have been fine using this site infact it has really helped take my mind off alcohol. AA however was a different deal altogether.

I couldn't wait to get home and have a drink, I would actually go to the off licence on the way home.

Maybe meetings made me nervous (I went to a small womens group a couple of times and was "made" to read when all I wanted to do was sit quietly)

It is increduble how we all have so many similar stories. I'm really enjoying being here I've learnt more in a week than I ever did in AA even though I know AA is great for some people.

:l
Kitty

[Kitty]

is this supposed to happen?

Hi Roguehawkfan

I love what you said about being held captive, sometimes I would go out and have a cigarette just to escape for a bit.

A little ironic for me as I only smoke when I drink so I would want a drink even more because I was smoking.

Craziness!!!!

:l

Kitty

[jay42]

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aa didnt really help me in a big way but the small bits that did i took on board if that makes anysense . the thingi found about aa is that there was a overall sense of sin and guilt around drinking (aadoes have a reilgoius streak in it) ie we are all to blame for our drinking and we have to go right back to our past and say sorry for everything we did to anybody and everybody else . dont get me wrong we all have our faults including me , but sometimes as shakespare siad life can soemtimes be about being sinned against rather than sinning ie . not everything that leads us to drink is our fault . theres envioremental factors and social conditions to take into account as well . asi siad i know aa helps some people but i got a lot more from one to one counscelling and small groups . and the groups i attended the majority of people didnt like aa's way of doing things either

[Owly]

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The thing about aa that I don't like, though without a doubt it is fantastic for many people (including some friends of mine), is the way that it makes alcohol into some kind of terrifyingly idol, it builds it up and up - your life still revolves around drink even though you aren't drinking. Because you are talking about it, you are defining yourself by it 'i am an alcoholic', you are making relationships with people who do the same. Everything about your identity orbits this central nucleus of alcohol, like it is your soul or something, the only difference between that and a drinker is that the aa person doesn't drink!

What kind of sense does it make for someone who hasn't had a drop in thirty years to call themselves an alcoholic and attend aa meetings? It's like the denial has gone full circle.

Alcohol needs to be deconstructed and de-mythologized in the mind so it's seen for what it really is - allen carr style, that way it loses its power over you, it seems to me the aa approach just increases the power of alcohol in the mind.

[Breez]

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For 2 yrs I belonged to an online alcohol free support group. Unfortunately it made me want to drink even more. With everyone expressing how much they missed alcohol, lecturing or how they fell off the wagon (which was often-including me)& then being hypocrites saying it was ok to slip was too much for me. I just didn't need to be constantly reminded about alcohol & their "rules" confused me even more. I knew I had to sever those ties.

I started MWO on my own last yr (& just recently joined here & have never been happier-thanx guys!) & never went back to that other site again.

In our journey with alcohol abs/mod there is no single path....we all have to tweak it. Only we know what will work for us individually.

Perhaps try not reading mid dayish & try later in the day. Skip a day & see what happens. Like I said, we all have had to tweak!

[chile]

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Owly,

You said that so perfectly. That is exactly how I felt. That ALCOHOLIC was who I was. It might as well have been my name. Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into an AA-bashing thread, I know it is good for some. I just wanted to say that this site and posting here does not give me that same feeling. I'm not sure why. I love it here.