I have been trying to quit drinking (mostly red wine) for about 10 years now. I have managed to quit for a couple of months and once for 7 months but I always end up going back. Now I only seem to get a couple of weeks or a few days at a time. I have been using Antibuse to try to quit. It works as long as I take it but after taking one pill I will go days without taking another and then when I think it has worn off I will drink again.
The problem is that when I drink my heart races all night long. I am not sure if there is residual antibuse left in the system or if it is just from the alchohol. The doctor says it is stress. (I have not told him how I am playing with the antibuse) I have not taken any antibuse for about three weeks now. Last night I had four glasses of wine and my heart pounded all night.
In the morning I never want to drink again and I tell myself to take the antibuse but by lunch time I am telling myself that I don't need to. By the evening I am drinking again, and then during the night the heart thing and the whole senario plays out again.
I am going away on a holiday for two weeks starting tomorrow and there will be plenty of drinking as we are going to two conventions. (these people like to party)
I am thinking of taking the antibuse so I won't drink but I am hesitant because I will likely have moments where I will feel trapped because I will want to drink and can't. I am also afraid that I will let it wear off and drink the second week, but with some residual in the system I may get symptoms like I have been getting.
So I am asking you all to give me the courage and reasoning to take the stupid pill and keep taking it. ( I am also worried about accidently getting alchohol in food)
I really don't enjoy drinking any more and I feel trapped by it. I love to run and do about 3 half marathons a year. Alchohol interferes with running and I don't want it to rob me of my good heath and fitness.
If I sound indecisive it is because I am. I am looking to you guys for support and encouragement to fight this awful battle. I have been reading all of your posts and have posted a couple of times myself. I find it is extremely helpful.
This is the first time I have asked for help and I am looking forward to your responses.
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