Totally out of control

[DriftyAlison0]

Totally out of control

Blues Dancer;1128418 wrote: I'm glad you left work tonight. I know it's hard. But hang in there. I didn't drink every night at work so no one's really noticed that I'm not drinking. At the end of my shift I just make up somewhere I have to be and scoot on out. I have the same switch you have. One's too many, and a hundreds not enough. I think I'm not struggling right now because I finally gave up on moderating. I just can't do it. But it took me two years to finally give up.
Good Luck, Jackie. I'm pulling for you.

It took me a year and a half to realize that modding wasn't working for me. I was doing pretty good but was slowly failing. Now that I am free from it, I am not struggling as much as in the past. Its not easy, but not as hard as previous quits.

[Jackie M]

Totally out of control

DA-
Modding does not work for me at all. I remember six years ago(after not drinking for five) saying, "The second alcohol causes me any problems I'm done". What a joke! It is nothing but a problem for me. It's so easy to get caught back up in the drinking non-thinking mode. I have to be honest with myself-I do not want just one or two drinks.
Congratulations on your alcohol free days. Isn't it awesome waking up with a clear head?

Jackie M

[Blues Dancer]

Totally out of control

Yay Jackie, I'm glad you're still here.!!! Keep it up. It is wonderful waking up bright and eyed and bushy tailed. How's that exercise plan going? I'm off to do a workout before I start my shift. Have a great night.

[Jackie M]

Totally out of control

Hi BD-
Yeah I'm still here. The next two days are gonna be a true test. I'm going clam digging tomorrow and I have an all day bbq on Monday. I've made up my mind that I am not going to drink no matter what.
I've been walking every day but it's not enough. Next week I am heading back to the gym for some serious work. It's time to start hitting the weights again. I can't wait to really start working out -I feel much better mentally when I am physically active. I also seem to get more done in general when I have a solid workout routine in place.
How are you doing with your workouts?
Peace,
Jackie M

[Blues Dancer]

Totally out of control

Jackie how did the clam digging and bbq go? I work weekends so I wasn't able to check in. I can lurk from my phone but I can't post. I had a rough day yesterday for a couple of hours, but I hit the gym before work and the craving subsided. I agree with you about the workout I'm definately more clear headed when I stick to my routine. Hope you're doing ok.
Blues

[Jackie M]

Totally out of control

Bd-
I had fun at both but it was rough not drinking. Right after we dug clams everyone wanted to go for a beer. I went but didn't drink. After that I hung out with some other friends that brought beer over. Aye aye aye....the "just one" song started playing in my head. I was able to shut it off but it was tough. Everyone drank at the bbq also. At least everyone was too wasted to notice that I wasn't drinking. One of my friends asked if I was ok to drive...it was pretty funny.
Today I reached out to a friend that has not drank for 64 days. I don't see much of her but I know she has been going to AA. I'm going to try to hook up with her Thursday to walk and talk.
I've really got to find some people to hang out with that don't drink all the time.
How are things going with you?

Jackie M

[DriftyAlison0]

Totally out of control

Jackie I was at the local pub/bar one night and had a plastic cup of pepsi and when the bar closed early was able to take it home to finish. I had a drunk friend tell me if a cop saw me with it, to dump it but I just told him it was only pepsi. I know the bartender and she is also a good friend. She wouldn't let me leave with alcohol unless I ordered it to go and it was in a bag (only tallboys or pop). I felt odd but yet so happy that it was a Pepsi and not al.

[Blues Dancer]

Totally out of control

JM-Things are going great! I'm on day 30 today. That stupid " I want a drink" voice has been a little chatty lately. That's great that you've reached out to your friend in AA. I don't have a single sober friend. I did have a couple of friends who quit drinking to be supportive of me, but they were so miserable I let them off the hook. Funny, because I would consider them normal drinkers. Oh well, I guess even "normal" people have a tough time in social situations. Have to run. I need to workout before I go down to the lake.
BD

[Jackie M]

Totally out of control

Hey BD-
I sent you a PM.
Jackie