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**Lavande** · June 6, 2011, 06:08 PM

A question on a night out.

Shephard,

IMHO the safest thing to do right now is to just stay away from those friends if they are not going to support your effort to quit drinking. Somewhere down the road when you are feeling more secure in your quit then maybe you can go out with them

Non-alcoholic beer & wine have never interested me. Maybe someone else will chime in on that topic.

Stay strong & keep your eye on the goal!

lav

**KateH1** · June 6, 2011, 06:34 PM

A question on a night out.

Hi Shephard,
Welcome to MWO. I am with Lav on this one. In the early days and months of living AL free, I found it best to avoid situations where I knew that drinking would be a focus of the event. The time will come when you will feel prepared to join in at the pub. For me, I avoided such places and events for a good six months.

As for the non-alcoholic beer and wine, it also did not interest me. I have tried some non-al wines a few times and simply did not like the taste. I was also a bit concerned that drinking the non-AL substitures might actually set up cravings.

Learning to live a life in sobriety does take change.....some major changes. But, everything is so worthwhile!

Best Wishes to you!
Kate

**choice** · June 6, 2011, 06:59 PM

A question on a night out.

Hi Shepard,

I haven't tried N/A wine or beer since quitting alcohol. I pretty much took the advice given to me that it was a no-no. I'm not sure if I'd try them now, maybe. In my opinion as long as what you order doesn't have alcohol you are not slipping. In the beginning I had to be really strict with myself. I knew I wouldn't be able to hang out with friends where drinking was the focal point. If you are worried about peer pressure just be kind to yourself and avoid situations where you might feel tempted. There will always be time to get out there and experiment with what kind of N/A drinks you will like. Be honest with yourself. Will a mock cocktail make you crave alcohol? If your not sure why risk it?

What works best for me in social situations is a clear drink on ice. 7-up, sprite... and good old water. Water is the best because you can keep filling it up and not get sick of how sweet it is. I've found social situations quite funny as of late. I can only have 1 or 2 sodas.. then I'm done. The thought of 5-8 drinks of anything is yucky to me now. It's amazing how much I use to consume. People will get use to you not drinking and the ones who don't will start to annoy you. At least that's how it worked for me.

Best of luck! Keep in touch with how hanging out with friends and what kinds of drinks your having works out. I'm just now getting out there and find this whole sober socializing pretty fun.

**autumn** · June 7, 2011, 01:58 AM

A question on a night out.

Hi Shephard,

I agree with previous advice, if AL is going to be the main focus and you are worried, avoid it like the plague! Really good friends would support you and maybe suggest that they had an AF night too, we went to the cinema and bowling. We even went and had afternoon tea, it was a hoot with the cakestand and tea pot!!

With the hardcore drinking friends I found that once I shrugged and said, 'I just dont drink anymore, I quit on my 40th birthday', they replied 'Oh OK' and got back into their drinks. I do leave early though, as when they get to the drunken repeating phase, its time to bail! No one really questioned me not drinking, they were way too busy with drinking!!.

If I am out, I order appletize in a wine glass, no one batts an eyelid as it looks like wine, but tastes fab. I do have an occasional AF beer, but funnily, I can always stop after just one :H

**Shephard** · June 7, 2011, 02:27 PM

A question on a night out.

Thank you all for your great advise

I will indeed keep in touch as to what kinds of drinks works for me, tomorrow will be the first test as I have to attend a funeral and I know that afterwards nearly everyone will be drinking, but I will resist with all my strength not to drink.

**Dewdrop** · June 7, 2011, 03:45 PM

A question on a night out.

Hi Shephard,

I've tried to post a link for you but it hasn't worked but if you click on my avatar and go into all threads started by Dewdrop and scroll down until you come to the one titled Non Alcohol Wine - Any Thoughts?? which I think was started on the 5th of December. Anyway there is loads of advice on the pros and cons of non alcohol drinks which I think you will find interesting.

Just wish I could copy and paste the link!!

Good luck tomorrow

Dewdrop :h

**dancingon** · June 7, 2011, 04:48 PM

A question on a night out.

Yes, I've thought about this too. They now sell non-alcohol wine in our local supermarket, but apart from the fact that it's very expensive, I wonder what is the point. There's an ad on our TV at the moment with the catch phrase, "It's not what we drink, it's how we drink" which is targetting binge drinking behaviour. I'm inclined to thiink for most of us on here that the problem is how we drink. So if I buy a bottle of non-alcohol wine and sit down and drink the lot by myself is that any better than drinking a bottle of wine? It's not as harmful but it perpetuates the behaviour.
In a social setting the danger is that as the evening goes on, the non-alcohol beer won't cut it any more especially when others start to get drunk.
The problem is always what to drink instead. Experiment with what you like and stick to it. If you can't come out and say you have given up drinking, you can say you are giving your liver a rest, you're on medication that doesn't allow you to drink, or that you are sober driver. It is quite acceptable and often the problem is more in your mind than others.

**damo180** · June 7, 2011, 07:10 PM

A question on a night out.

Best of luck tomorrow, I would DEFINITELY stay away from non alcoholic beer.
I,ve been out quite a bit recently and family and friends are now appreciating their lifts on nights out and I am also proudly telling them I am trying to quit. A lot seem quite envious as I am starting to enjoy some nights out now, not drinking alcohol.

Damo

**autumn** · June 8, 2011, 01:21 AM

A question on a night out.

Hi Damo,
That was a real strong 'I would DEFINITELY stay away from non alcoholic beer'

Can I ask why? If I remeber, you asked about it a while back?? Did it not agree with you? Hope you don't think I am prying, just really curious

**damo180** · June 8, 2011, 02:06 AM

A question on a night out.

Hi Autumn,

Just from reading a lot on it, and then I remembered my previous attempts quitting and always had a few AF beers, before I eventually caved.
I am taking no chances this time by getting the taste of beer.
Allen Carr, who,s book has helped me a lot this time around recommends no substititutes.
I think, especially in the very early stages of quitting, you would be better off staying away from them.
Hope you are keeping well and lets keep going.

All the best

Damo in Dublin

**madmans** · June 8, 2011, 04:19 AM

A question on a night out.

Like all of the above i would not even look at them, if we are going to change our drinking habits, drinking AF drinks so we can "fit" in is just wrong. In the first place whats the point ? they taste like shit and cost the same as beer. I would also stay out of pubs the craving can be bad at the start and you should help yourself as much as you can. It takes a while for all your friends to stop asking/wanting you to drink with them.

**JackieClaire** · June 8, 2011, 04:24 AM

A question on a night out.

:welcome: Shepherd,

Just wanted to add my hellos and welcomes. Found Dewdrop's thread just click on the link. It's a good read.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...hts-46613.html

J x
:l

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