Hi New Friends

[Deb*G]

Hi Everyone,
I found this site today seeking some helpful answers...my cousin's, (who is more like a brother to me) wife is in the ICU, in critical condition from alcoholism. She has cirrhosis, cannot breathe on her own, and her brain has atrophied to the size of an 80 or 90 year old woman, and is non responsive after having gone through sedation for DT's, she is only 44...yes, we all knew she had a drinking problem, but not to the extent that she was killing herself. My cousins sisters and I are all beside ourselves, why didn't we see this coming, how could it have spun so out of control, we are sad, scared, angry, and grief stricken. They have 2 teenage boys who are besides themselves.

I hope that no one has had to go through something this awful...but if anyone has or knows someone who has I would REALLY appreciate any advice or insight. Will her brain come back, at least somewhat, what about her liver. They said if she lasts 6 months for the transplant, a big IF, her brain is probably so far gone that she will need to be in a home. Thank you for any advice! God bless, Deb*G: confused :help!

[IAD]

Hi New Friends

Deb.....That's a tough one. We all are scared to death about that out come happening to us.....All we can do give support where it's needed.....and help to get a person off this terrible addiction. I feel for you......we all have had that feeling....that were slowly killing our self. I'm praying for him.....and all your family....God Bless. Tony

[Thomas1]

Hi New Friends

Medical care is critical for your cousin's wife.

Deb*G;1129927 wrote: Hi Everyone,
I found this site today seeking some helpful answers...my cousin's, (who is more like a brother to me) wife is in the ICU, in critical condition from alcoholism. She has cirrhosis, cannot breathe on her own, and her brain has atrophied to the size of an 80 or 90 year old woman, and is non responsive after having gone through sedation for DT's, she is only 44...yes, we all knew she had a drinking problem, but not to the extent that she was killing herself. My cousins sisters and I are all beside ourselves, why didn't we see this coming, how could it have spun so out of control, we are sad, scared, angry, and grief stricken. They have 2 teenage boys who are besides themselves. ...

Her doctors can best answer the medical questions, but they tend to paint a pessimistic picture on a progressive disease like alcoholism. It's important that she have a patient advocate and not be released until she is ready. This may include inpatient treatment and home care.

The family needs support, too, including you. This will not be easy. But although I am new here like you, and I suffer the problem personally, this seems like a good place to get it. You'll be in our thoughts. And check out the Newbie Nest. :welcome:

[Deb*G]

Hi New Friends

Thank you

Thank you, Thomas...I'm in California and my family is in Michigan, Illinois, and New York...my cousin's wife who is hospitalized is in Michigan. My Aunt has been sitting vigil and e-mailing my cousins sisters with up-dates, I talk to them or my my cousin directly a couple of times a week. At this point, the out look is grim...she has been off sedation but her brain is not responding. I know that the doctors will not release her to soonly. They have said that they can't give her a liver transplant until she's been clean for 6 months and they don't hold much hope for that...I am scared witless. :upset:

Thomas1;1129942 wrote: Her doctors can best answer the medical questions, but they tend to paint a pessimistic picture on a progressive disease like alcoholism. It's important that she have a patient advocate and not be released until she is ready. This may include inpatient treatment and home care.

The family needs support, too, including you. This will not be easy. But although I am new here like you, and I suffer the problem personally, this seems like a good place to get it. You'll be in our thoughts. And check out the Newbie Nest. :welcome:

[Deb*G]

Hi New Friends

Thank you

Thank you Sheri,
I am sorry to hear of your struggle but it sounds like you got a handle on it before it was a bigger issue than it already is...I believe that my cousin's wife was in denial big time. They had a date set last year for her to go into rehab, the morning of, she refused...what was my cousin supposed to do, tie her up, put her in the trunk and drop her off. No intervention was held and definitely should have been. I can only prey for her and our well being during this beyond scary time. I prey for all on this forum who are fighting there own battles and demons.:angel:

Sheri;1130120 wrote: Hi Deb,
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin's wife. We are truly fighting a life and death battle here, but it certainly isn't portrayed that way in the media. Please try not to be too hard on yourself for not seeing the extent of the problem. Most of us are very good at hiding how bad it really is from our loved ones and even from ourselves. Denial is such a huge part of the illness. It is also impossible to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. The truth is, alcohol doesn't just kill alcoholics. It has the potential to kill anyone who drinks too much at any given time and especially our youth who don't realize the danger they are putting themselves in when they binge drink.

We did lose one of our own here and countless numbers have come and gone without anyone ever knowing what happened to them. I know had I continued, my days were definitely numbered. No one in my family knew how sick I was and would have been just as shocked and confused as your family is to learn about the secret I tried so hard to keep from them.

My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. It is such a tragic reminder to us all why we need to keep fighting the good fight each and every day.

Sheri

[Deb*G]

Hi New Friends

Thank you

Thank you Tony,
I sincerely hope to god that no one has to go through what my family is going through...I'm thinking I should go to an AA support meeting for families with addictions. Has anyone had good experiences with this? Thank you for your prayers, you all are in mine.
Debray:

IAD;1129938 wrote: Deb.....That's a tough one. We all are scared to death about that out come happening to us.....All we can do give support where it's needed.....and help to get a person off this terrible addiction. I feel for you......we all have had that feeling....that were slowly killing our self. I'm praying for him.....and all your family....God Bless. Tony

[madmans]

Hi New Friends

Hi Deb , when i read posts like these it always makes me sit up and take notice, all of us here are heading that road unless we stop. I am sorry for your cousin and his children for no one should have to face that and i'm sure his wife never thought it would happen to her but like Sheri said don't blame yourself or let your cousin blame himself, intervention or not if she didn't want to stop or see the problem you didn't stand a chance . I hope things improve for her

[Deb*G]

Hi New Friends

Thank you for the condolences and affirmations. It is hard not to blame ourselves...she seems to be responding now, her eyes have opened and she hears the nurses and my cousins and aunts voices, and her blood pressure has gone up. I'm trying to remain hopeful.
Thank you again for your kind thoughts.