I've visited the site now and again wanting to join in the 'fun'. I've been self-medicating social anxiety with alcohol since I was a teen. My own family has a history of alcohol abuse, I married into a family of big drinkers, hang out with some heavy drinking moms in the neighborhood, and have a special needs kids with severe anxiety that knows how to tweek my buttons.
I quite drinking for over a year almost nineteen years ago, but started up again as husband, friends, and family all imbide and I thought I could keep it under control. I've always known I drank too much, wasn't in denial about that, but just couldn't stop. The woman I hang out with all say they drink too much too, I guess we were a club.
When my older brother went AF when he turned 40 I wished I could join him. Eight years later I was still drinking, but added day drinking and showering in the evenings before husband got home so I didn't smell of alcohol, but it was getting harder and harder to hide it.
Husband confronted me Friday, I fessed up, felt enormously relieved, and said I'd stop. Next day, hubby pours himself a drink, and then another and another. Granted, he didn't drink as much as he usually does on the weekends which can usually be three or four beers, then a few glasses of wine or cocktails, but still....
He was furious with me, yet made no effort to support me by even going AF for even a weekend. Yes, I drank way more than he did, and snuck extras, but I can't help feeling depressed that he wasn't more supportive. I know I have to not spend time with the neighborhood gals, which is okay, but what do you do when you're spouse is still drinking? (And he has repeatedly pointed out that the recommended drinking number is one a day for woman, and I would then point out it's two for men) We would usually take Monday and Tuesday off, but split a big bottle of wine starting on Wed--and add beer to the wine on the weekeneds. (Box wines were really good for hiding how much I was drinking, I did stop buying them over a year ago to try to curb my intake a little.)
That's my vent. I'm glad I got caught, I"m glad I'm starting life AF, I didn't have any cravings over the weekend, but felt tired and depressed--still do today. And I really wish I could summon the nerve to tell my husband how disapointed I was that he felt no qualms about drinking in front of me my first weekend AF.
I quite drinking for over a year almost nineteen years ago, but started up again as husband, friends, and family all imbide and I thought I could keep it under control. I've always known I drank too much, wasn't in denial about that, but just couldn't stop. The woman I hang out with all say they drink too much too, I guess we were a club.
When my older brother went AF when he turned 40 I wished I could join him. Eight years later I was still drinking, but added day drinking and showering in the evenings before husband got home so I didn't smell of alcohol, but it was getting harder and harder to hide it.
Husband confronted me Friday, I fessed up, felt enormously relieved, and said I'd stop. Next day, hubby pours himself a drink, and then another and another. Granted, he didn't drink as much as he usually does on the weekends which can usually be three or four beers, then a few glasses of wine or cocktails, but still....
He was furious with me, yet made no effort to support me by even going AF for even a weekend. Yes, I drank way more than he did, and snuck extras, but I can't help feeling depressed that he wasn't more supportive. I know I have to not spend time with the neighborhood gals, which is okay, but what do you do when you're spouse is still drinking? (And he has repeatedly pointed out that the recommended drinking number is one a day for woman, and I would then point out it's two for men) We would usually take Monday and Tuesday off, but split a big bottle of wine starting on Wed--and add beer to the wine on the weekeneds. (Box wines were really good for hiding how much I was drinking, I did stop buying them over a year ago to try to curb my intake a little.)
That's my vent. I'm glad I got caught, I"m glad I'm starting life AF, I didn't have any cravings over the weekend, but felt tired and depressed--still do today. And I really wish I could summon the nerve to tell my husband how disapointed I was that he felt no qualms about drinking in front of me my first weekend AF.
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