There's something happening here,

[Juja]

This is Day 5 AF for me, and I feel wonderful. Is this a fluke? I was depressed for two days, angry for one, and then it all lifted.

I have to spend a long day at my parents' house today, which will bring all the same old crap up, but I think I can manage. My mother, who's had numerous strokes with the accompanying problems, is easy to deal with, my father is a complete jerk. Wish me luck.

Hugs to all.

[daisy45]

There's something happening here,

OK Juja, GOOD LUCK! Isn't it weird how when you go to your parents house it can bring you right back to being a teenage girl again; with things they say getting on your nerves, rolling my eyes at some of the stories they tell my children about me.......or is that just me? Sorry to hear your mum isn't in good health.....big smiles to your dad...you can do it!
5 DAYS IS CLASS!

[Doggygirl]

There's something happening here,

Juja, congrats on 5 days AF! That is awesome!! What I experienced (and I think it's fairly common) was a LOT of emotional ups and downs in the early part of my journey. I was so used to "adjusting" ANY emotions with AL. Happy? Al!! Sad? AL!! Depressed? AL!! I really never learned how to just face my emotions and deal with them, and face things head on instead of retreating into the bottle. I am still trying to figure out who I am and I'm 53(29)!!! Figuring out the "real me" when I never allowed the "real me" to surface was impossible.

I can relate to the stress of elderly parents/ health issues and moodiness. My Dad is very ill and a huge grump on top of it. I'm going to see him today. I have learned to stay out of his and my Moms business, and just try to enjoy small bursts of time with them. A lot of my previous frustration I brought on myself by having strong opinions about lots of things that are truly none of my affair. Our relationship is much simpler and better now that I try to leave their business to them to figure out and handle in whatever way THEY see fit.

FWIW...the most important thing? DON'T DRINK!

DG

[Mia]

There's something happening here,

Fantastic on 5 days jujua! :goodjob: Im on day 22 and like you it is different this time. enough is enough! xxx

[Lavande]

There's something happening here,

Good for you Juja!
Glad you are beginning to feel better. It takes some effort but the rewards are awesome

Lav

[hillsidetime]

There's something happening here,

Juja, I hope your day at your parents house went OK. Good work on the af days, keep adding them together. You can do it,
Hill

[Juja]

There's something happening here,

Thanks, everyone, for taking time to reply. It is so kind of you to do so. I really mean that. I feel that all of you are becoming my true friends.

Today is Day 7 AF, but it's dinner out tonight with alcohol-pusher mother-in-law, and overbearing sister-in-law. Again, I'm not going to drink because I don't want to, AND because I want my self-esteem to override my need to please mother-in-law, who's basically at good person. She needs everyone to drink, yet she can stop at two, and has for her 93 years.

Doggygirl--I, too, have learned that things are much better with my parents if I mind my own business. I try to be as helpful as I can when I'm there, and stay out of their hair, otherwise. So their house isn't up to the standards they drilled into us? Why does it matter? It doesn't, but sometimes I want to tweak my father, and point things out that he needs to be doing, because he was so rough on us about cleanliness and order when we (my older sister and I, not the younger two), were growing up. It was a pure OCD existence, with him, the Marine, in charge. I'm not a mean or cruel person, but sometimes my anger at him comes out. I've gotten much better, and am more understanding. I don't want to be like him, nor do I want to drink because I'm angry or feel bad about what I have said to him.

I have to go to my parents' again today, to help my mother get dressed, etc., for a funeral. My father said there's no way he can do it. (?) That's 3 days this week with them, plus the dinner out tonight with my husband's side. I am so tired--BUT NOT DRINKING! Yahooo! You all have made all the difference. Thanks.

[Guitarista]

There's something happening here,

Hiya Juja,

Congratulations on 7 days AF! That is a huge acheivement. You don't want to go back to day 1 again! Too much bloody work.

I found it's always handy to have yourself an 'exit' plan for social and/or potentially stressful events. i.e. arrive later, leave early if you can, or arrange for this to happen. I organise my own transport, and make sure i can leave if i'm getting too anxious, etc. We must be ruthless with our sobriety, especially in the earlier day's. Our sobriety must take precedence over many family and social events, if not all of them, until we are stronger and more settled in our sobriety. Then we can get out amongst it more easily, well, that's how it was for me.

Keep up the great work!

[Juja]

There's something happening here,

You are absolutely right. I need to be ruthless about my sobriety. I am seriously thinking about bailing out on dinner tonight, but don't want to leave my husband to go it alone with his mother and sister. Hmm-m-m, who do I take care of? I know the answer.

[Doggygirl]

There's something happening here,

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SOBRIETY FIRST. At least speaking for myself, that is what I MUST do. If I had dinner scheduled with the First Lady I would bail if I was not feeling 100% up for it. There will always be another dinner with my in-laws. I'm not sure if there will be another recovery if I relapse.

DG

[mylife]

There's something happening here,

Hello Juja and congratulations on your days of no drinking.

Remember OXYGEN - you can't help others if you don't get your own Oxygen mask on first. Help yourself and you will help those you love.

Good luck! I can relate to the family thing - I'm headed to my Mom's right now. Luckily she doesn't drink.

[gertrude mcfuzz]

There's something happening here,

Great work Juja, keep it up. I am only in early days, but it sounds like you are on the right path!

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SOBRIETY FIRST.

Great words doggygirl. I will take that on board too.

[Juja]

There's something happening here,

I made it one week, I made it 7 days! Yahoo!

Yesterday was one of the most stressful days I've had in awhile--found elderly mother naked on bedroom floor (age/stroke/not AL related), father not there & had to find him to get her up, wacko sister in law complicated dinner out, mother in law couldn't believe I wasn't drinking, then long-g-g dinner out, blah, blah, blah. BUT, thanks to everyone's encouragement here, I made it through the evening without drinking. Absolutely unbelievable.

I remembered: I want a drink, but I don't need a drink; Sobriety at all cost; My oxygen mask.......

Thank you, thank you! I love you, and I mean that, even though it may sound over-the-top. I truly couldn't have done it without all you wonderful folks.

Goal:
7 Days AF Done
14 Days AF
21 Days AF
30 Days AF

[Wanna be free]

There's something happening here,

Interested in knowing how your dinner went. I am only on day 3 beginning day 4 today. I opted out of dinner last night with friends because I felt like it was too much pressure on me not to drink - too early. Have been surprised by my lack of energy the last few days - tire out easily and go to bed early. But I love the mornings and no hangovers. Let me know if you went to your dinner with inlaws and how it went!

[Guitarista]

There's something happening here,

Great stuff Juja.

Geez, i hope your mum's okay. Well done, and i'm sure you're very proud of yourself. As you should be, no matter what the circumstances.

Congratulation's, keep your focus, and eye on the prize friend.

Keep it going!

G-bloke.