Completed my first day of no drinking

[Wanna be free]

Well, guess I will just jump in here. I used to be such an extrovert, but over the years, my drinking habits have created an introvert who would rather be alone drinking than be with others. Drinking has stolen so much of my life and I am ready to start living again. After the night of June 13, staying up all night and polishing off almost all of a bottle of Jack Daniels, I have decided that enough is enough. I want to be free.

[Marshy]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi Wanna be free,

It's good to hear you want to start living again. I think many of us had similar experiences of isolating ourselves so we could drink - I certainly did. There's lots of info here to support you and help you rebuild your life.

[Doggygirl]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi Wanna be free! Love that screen name. Congrats on Day 1. I too spent many years drinking and socializing. But in the later 10 years or so of my drinking, I mainly wanted to be alone to do my things. Very sad. I'm so glad that madness is finally over. If I can do it, and Marshy can do it, and so many others here can do it, so can you.

Strength and hope,

DG

[Wanna be free]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am getting a little scared. I have a home in PA and also one in Texas. I flew home to Texas last week and my husband was supposed to join me today and we were going to spend the weekend in Texas celebrating with my daughter for Father's Day. However, my husband became ill and will not be flying home to Texas. So I have a whole 4 days by myself, which I would normally fill the days with drinking and I am wondering what I am going to do.

[Barbara1234]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Wanna,

Where is your daughter? Does she live in Texas?

[spuddleduck]

Completed my first day of no drinking

hi wanna. its funny, a lot of people drink to be extrovert, but you are the other way. i think we all get messed up with al. a whole bottle of jd is far too much as you know (hmmm thats why you only have almost a bottle). jump in here and tell us about yourself. you have found this place for a reason. i found it good to read a lot about other people and post how i was doing. get yourself a plan. look in the toolbox. there is some great info there. it has helped me... great to have you here

[Wanna be free]

Completed my first day of no drinking

I had to laugh out loud when I saw you were responding back to me as "Wanna." Did not plan to have that name when I chose "Wanna be free" as my name. Anyway, thanks for the laugh. My daughter does live here in Texas, but she is quite busy during the day with her career. I am a consultant and I can work virtually in PA or in Texas. Anyway, I appreciate the responses back. I am doing okay, just staying busy with my work and recovering from my Jack Daniels escapade. I don't normally drink that, I am a wine drinker, but I have been quite unhappy with drinking for some time. And I thought the Jack Daniels might make drinking a bit more interesting. What a dummy. Anyway it brought me to the point that it made me so sick, I thought how stupid can I be. I am done with this kind of life. I have some questions. In my past careers, I was a manager with a major pharmaceutical company and did most of my work managing reps who promoted antipsychotics. I am very well aware of the CNS (Central Nervous System drugs) and have avoided them completely because I know about their rebound effects once you try to get off of them. I am not that familiar with Topomax. Are most of the people on this program taking a drug? I do not want to do that. And I am curious about personal experiences with the nutritional supplements.

[Doggygirl]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi again. In my early sober days, I always kept a written list of "things to do" handy. When strong urges came, I could just grab my list and immediately go for a distraction without having to sit and think too much about it, and risk letting the urge get the best of me. That might be something to consider since you will have more alone time over the next few days than you planned.

I take it you have read the My Way Out book? That's where I started. I ordered the "Starter Kit" from the health store and took all the supplements and listened the abstinence hypnosis CD's. I also followed the diet and exercise recommendations in the book. I ordered Topamax from an off shore pharmacy, but like you was a bit squeamish about taking drugs to stop drinking. So ultimately I never took Topa or any other prescription med. I did take the supplements and believe in them. I still take All One and a few other things to this day.

There are many here who have been helped greatly by prescription meds. See where your journey leads you. I have learned to stay open to all things that help my sobriety. I swore I would never go to AA but now I do that too.

You can do this.

DG

[Wanna be free]

Completed my first day of no drinking

I just printed off your plan and saw some of the things you do. Looks good. I have not yet read the book. I just found this site yesterday, so I will get the book and supplements by the end of the day.

[Mia]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi Waana be Free :welcome: Just would like to let you know I feel free for the first time in a long time. I have been sober now for 22 days! It is so worth it. Stay here and lets us all know how you are going. xx :l

[Lavande]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi Wanna be Free!

Glad you decided to join us, we're a nice group

Keeping myself as distarcted as possible in the early days really helped!
Nw I have so much 'spare' time I can do whatever I want - love that!

I did not use any prescription meds & even took my own supplements (due to allergies) when I started. I did use the MWO Hypno CDs though, they are very useful in helping you to relax without AL and change your thinking about it too!

Please feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest thread & say hello
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[Wanna be free]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Well, I downloaded the book and read half of it tonight. And ordered the supplements and they will be delivered to my home in PA, since I will be flying there on Monday from Texas. I made some interesting observations since reading so many of the posts. I had no idea that the horrible self-accusations that faced me every morning after I drank too much were shared by so many - the guilt, the disappointment, the self-loathing - could the alcohol be causing that? I have always thought of myself as pretty smart, but I did not realize til I read all the posts that the drinking was causing my depression. So tonight I had the opportunity to have dinner with friends - all drinkers - but I opted out and went to a small french bakery by myself and had an awesome salad and ice tea. I don't like to dine alone, but I found a graceful little place to sit that allowed me to observe everyone, but still not feel akward about dining alone. It is 11:00 p.m. and I am going to bed, completing my second day of not drinking. One thing I thought about as I was dining at that french bakery -----how many times I have been there so hung over I could not even enjoy my food. What a difference tonight! Goodnight you sweet people!

[Juja]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Wanna,

The self-loathing, etc., were the worst part of AL for me. I wasn't a "hider," never ended up with a DUI, in jail, or the other AL-induced crazy stuff, but the shame, guilt, depression, etc., from putting away a bottle of wine every night really got to me. I decided I no longer wanted to wake up feeling like that every morning, plus worrying about cancer, a stroke, AL dementia (which my uncle has), or cirrhosis. I couldn't take it anymore.

Granted, this is only Day 7 AF for me, but maybe I'm getting there, and you can, too.

Best wishes. Congrats on Day 1. BTW: It helped me to start a journal with which AF day it was in bold. I would write down my feelings, and anything else that came to mind. It helped, and I am able to see my progress.

Juja

[Wanna be free]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Thanks for your messages. Juja, I really appreciate your identifying with me on the guilt and depression. Day 2 - I wake up this morning and those horrible feelings are not there. That is worth it. I never really put the two together even though I knew alcohol was a depressant. For years, I could drink and not think about it, cause I have always been very optimistic. But that changed and I did not like the feelings that came along with it. I did something very empowering this morning. Other people use my home in Texas to stay in and some folks had left about two cases of beer. This is not a problem for me, because if beer were the only alcohol in the world, I would never touch it. But the caretaker of my home loves beer and she too has a problem with alcohol. Today is trash pickup day and I loaded it all up in the trash and set it by the curb. Even though it may not be a temptation for me, I am not going to contribute to someone else's drinking problem. What fun to dump that beer!

[Barbara1234]

Completed my first day of no drinking

Hi Wanna Be Free,

I thought I had hereditary depression for years. I passed it off as not being my fault after all......and just figured I had to live with it.
I am almost 30 days AF, for the first time in my life. My "depression fog" has mysteriously lifted, and I haven't had self-loathing thoughts or feelings of guilt for weeks now. I am losing weight, and my friends keep asking me what I'm doing because I look so healthy...hmmmm!
I also thought of myself as an intelligent person and have only recently realized that ALL of my problems were self-inflicted due to alcohol abuse. I drank 2 bottles of fairly expensive wine every night. Over the years it has added up to tens of thousands of dollars.
Sounds to me like the actions of a very stupid person.
Alcohol is directly responsible for all of my depression, anxiety, fear, guilt and self-loathing. I couldn't see it until I stopped. I couldn't stop until I found MWO.
I feel very happy for you that you went out to that french bakery and had a lovely evening and realized what you had done. It's awesome, and on day 2!!
I hope you stay around here and post what's going on, and ask for help. I have found some really nice friends here, and have received a wealth of knowledge and support. What I have experienced here is beyond anything I could have imagined. We all have the same problem at varying degrees, however we all want to be free. The people here are 'givers", that is for sure. There is something so special about having this weight around your shoulders, and complete strangers offering to lift it without any expectations. The people here are truly my guardian angels.