All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[jenniech]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

day 2 for me...When 5pm rolls around, I think, "how am I going to make it through the next couple of hours?" But, I am hoping that with practice, I can start feeling more comfortable during that "witching" hour(s).

I am so proud of myself....not only did I NOT drink 2 nights ago, but I also poured out the remaining bottle of nice cold chardonnay from the night before!! There was one glass worth and let me tell you, I had quite an argument with myself. IT was not easy and it was the very first time I actually poured wine down the drain!!!!

I have been to AA and counseling about this and the thing that keeps bringing me back to this site is how forgiving and nonjudgmental everyone is here on this site. Even my therapist who "specializes" in alcohol dependancy problems judged me (and so I stopped going to her). She said, "how much do you drink?" and i replied "well, I drink about a bottle" and she replies "but not every night?" like she was going to send me to hardcore rehab or something if i said yes!!!! Also, she wants to know about my diet. I reply that I am very careful and eat healthy. She asks what snacks I have at work and I say healthy! dried fruit and nuts....she says "you mean sugar and fat" what is with people????

Anyway, glad to have supportive, nonjudgmental people on my side on this site and I am comforted to know that if I slip and drink, you will not judge me for it and will help me get back up on my feet.

Good luck to all this Friday.....

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Happy Friday Everyone!!!! Day No. 3 for me and I feel okay....a little tired. Didn't make it to the gym this morning because I felt like I needed the extra sleep. Also, my tummy has been bothering me the last couple of days so I'm not sure what that's about. I'm thinking about doing a cleanse to get all of the toxins out of my system.

I can honestly say that I did give AL a thought for about 5 seconds today but that's about it. Maybe the L-Glut is working or maybe I'm still feeling bad about the other night or maybe it's finally kicking in. I'm just worried about next week, when the memory of the other night has worn off and I feel good and that little voice creeps in...but I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

Clover - You are doing great! I'm so proud of you!!!!!!

Jen - So awesome that you poured the poison down the sink! Congrats on Day 2...we are in the same place. Also, no judgement here....we all need to be real about where we are...it's the only way we will get help. Being honest holds us accountable for our choices and actions and this is what we need.

Just some food for thought....I read something yesterday that referred to AL as Ethonal and I thought WOW.....I never thought of it like that....it totally freaked me out! There is nothing glamorous about pouring a glass of ethonal. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw-up!!!!!

Have a great sober, Friday everyone....going to play cards and drink ice coffee with some of my girlfriends (luckily they don't drink hardly ever).

WS

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi everyone, just checking in. Whew, up at 5am today and off to work and now it's 8pm and I'm just walking in the door. Wiped out. Gotta get up at 4am tomorrow. Did I mention that I'm not a morning person? :argh:

I'm starting to lose track of my days, but I think today was day 11. Done and not a drop touched. Day 12 tomorrow and I'm feeling great.

Not tonight--How'd you make out at dinner?

Clover--Congrats on day 14 and still thinking of you and your son.

WineSucks--My tummy has been hurting too. What's up with that? Congrats on day 3!

Jennie--Way to go dumping the wine down the drain! And it absolutely sucks to feel judged by a therapist. I wouldn't want to go back to her either.

Shue--Your insensitive drinking story reminds me of some of mine. Ugh. So many memories I'd like to permanently erase. But then again, I never want to forget because I don't want to forget the shameful way I felt. Never again!

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Evening, Everyone! I'm winding down my Day 14 and I can hardly believe it's been 2 weeks since I drank! I had a pleasant relaxing day, went out to dinner with a friend and now I'm home just taking it easy. I love not drinking and not being hungover and miserable. But I have been kind of sluggish this week and, since exercise would probably help with that a lot, I've got my plan for tomorrow. It's great to see so many checking in tonight and I'm very happy to see all of you! Here's to another sober day tomorrow!

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Okay....where is everyone today???? I hope everyone is having a good, AF, Saturday!!! Day No. 4 for me and it's 5:00. Went to the gym this morning and did body pump....I didn't feel like going because I seem to be tired the last couple of days but after I went, I had amazing energy! I must admit that I did think about wine today, more than once...but I realize that I have a choice. So I thought "what can I do different today?". I went to a different grocery store because the one I usually go to is right next to a big liquor store. The one I went to today is next to a Health Store so I went in and got Soy protein and flaxseed oil for my morning shakes. I made sure I ate, I took my time doing everything and now I'm getting ready to have a cup of coffee and clean the house. Saturday's are probably my most difficult day. I saw that Amy Winehouse died a few minutes ago and I am so sad about this. She had such talent and only 27.......addiction can be deadly. Any thought I had about having any wine is gone now. Hope everyone has a good, sober Saturday night...I'll check back later.

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi, Winesucks,

I guess everyone's catching up on stuff today--Saturday's are like that. I was up at 5 a.m., doing laundry, and working outside by 6 a.m. It is so hot here, that I wanted to get my outside chores done early. I'm so far behind with everything, due to tending to my mother, that I see something to do everywhere I turn. My husband isn't much help. He's a dreamer, creative, and is presently working on a project and doesn't want to be interrupted, so my resentment is through the roof. If I ask him to do something, there's a major argument, and he out-maneuvers me in that arena, so I back off and seeth. I don't like confrontation, don't know why we can't have an adult discussion about our differnces, and so I eat it all. (Gee, I believe I'm ranting and raving here...) Plus, I have a sinus headache from all the crap in the air, so I don't feel good on top of everything else.

Anyway, I'm on Day 8 AF, and feel indifferent about it. I need to be AF the rest of my life, so 8 days seems like nothing. At day 30, I may feel differently about my gains. I don't feel the need to drink, so that's good.

I was hoping that I would have lost a pound or two by now, but I can tell I haven't. My pants are still tight. I'm not drinking, and I am back on Weight Watchers, but the flab is still hanging around. Maybe it's my age. Arrghhh!

Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. I sure hope so.

Have a great Af Saturday night.

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello, Ladies! It's so good to see that we're all sober today!

WS, good for you, going to the gym even though you didn't feel like it and changing up your routine to avoid the liquor store. It sounds like you're making some good choices. I've been doing the same thing, keeping busy and also treating myself to little pleasures so that I DO NOT forget that life can be so much more pleasant and fun when I don't drink! I hit the gym today, too, and am trying very hard to get back into my daily workout routine.

Juja, 8 days is great! I have my ups and downs, too. I don't actually feel depressed, though, like I did when I was drinking. Over the last 2 weeks, I've generally felt quite good but occasionally a bit flat and worn out. And yes, indeed, the people we love can really push us to the brink. My son is still dealing with a lot of pain from whatever he's got. But we've also had an ongoing situation with him that has caused a great deal of turmoil, fighting, etc. I have to be strong for him right now and I will do everything I can to help him get well. But he has also hurt me very deeply and sometimes I want to just say the hell with him.

I'm off to the movies in a little bit, but will check in later or in the morning. Good to see you both .... onward and upward for all of us!

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja - I think 8 days is great but I understand how you feel. Believe it or not, my husband pissed me off today too. My husband is also a dreamer and his passion right now is a bunch of tropical plants which are hard to take care of....and if it isn't that project, it's another one that has nothing to do with getting things done that need to be done around the house. That means I have to do the cleaning, the shopping, etc....I wanted to slap him upside the head today. I left and went and got a manicure and a pedicure because I felt like I needed to do something for myself...then I went and did everything else. Normally, this would have driven me to the wine bottle to numb my irritation but I just remembered how crappy I felt the other day and was able to push it aside.

Clover - What kind of little treats are you getting for yourself (I'm looking to steal some of your ideas). Good for you going back to the gym! I'm going to the movies with my daughter tomorrow....not sure what we will see but I'm looking forward to it.

I'll talk to you guys tomorrow!

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS,

Married to dreamers...we have more in common than AL. I'm glad to know someone understands the frustration.

Have a good time at the movies.

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hya....sorry for non-appearance...work work family family...but still here and still on it...am exhausted just watching dvds on sofa in pjs with one of my daughters...sober happy but very very tired..
Big love to you peeps x

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Everyone! How lovely to wake up on a Sunday morning feeling great! I'm very glad to see so many of us hanging in there. It really is getting better all the time for me - it's Day 16 - wow! When I first woke up, although I felt just fine, I immediately started to think about my son and started to feel really sad. Well, I made a conscious effort to stop thinking about it and just plan my day instead. I cannot make myself crazy over a situation that is out of my hands. That's the sort of crap that leads me to drink.

So, it's the gym in a little bit and maybe some time at a local pool. I'd love to tackle the weeds in my garden and really want to spend more time outdoors, but it is hotter than blue blazes out there. I keep telling myself that if I can stay sober, Autumn will soon be here and I can start spending LOTS of time outside: gardening, walking, biking, etc. That's something to really look forward to!

WS, if only I had some really great tips on simple pleasures. Lately, mine mostly involve food I'm not indulging in sweets so much, just making sure that I eat something yummy right after work. I also do not let myself get hungry anymore. I've been garage saling, movies, out to dinner, spending time with non-drinking friends. I'm going to try and get a massage next week with my "wine money." Before I started drinking heavily, I was really into collecting vintage Barbie dolls - well, I can't afford much of that right now, but I've been cleaning them up, dressing them and "playing" again. Silly perhaps, but I'm having fun! I found a huge lot of vintage sewing patters at the garage sale and today I'm going to look through them, organize, etc. Damn, I used to sew; I used to be creative! That was before I let wine come into my life and take over. Well, wine got thrown out and I'm doing everything I can to keep it that way.

Have a wonderful, sober Sunday everyone! See you all later!

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

End of the week is incredibly busy for me. Today is day 13. Last night was my brother's 50th birthday party. Everyone (except me) was drinking and loud. I chatted and sipped water all night. Then got to drive my slightly inebriated husband home. Still feeling great and I had NO desire to drink last night.

[Spanky]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Winesucks- you may want to consider publishing a book someday- you are a good writer. Thanks to you all for the hints and support on this thread. This is day one for me- AGAIN. I am sick of myself, sick of how this problem recurs, recurs, again and again. I fooled myself into thinking I had some control for awhile. What a joke. This thread is a great one. Day 1 of 30, I pray. No, day 1 of 30. In 12 days I WILL be saying "day 13" like FlyAway.
A few people around me have quit with seemingly no problem. Depressing- when I should just see them as proof I can do it too.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

I just wanted to say Happy Sober Sunday Evening......I'm so glad to see everyone is still hanging in there and doing so well. I'm at the end of Day No. 5 today and had absolutely NO desire to drink. Of course, it's hotter than hell here but I'm looking forward to Day 6.

Clover - You should definately do the massage. I did that and it made me feel so much better that I'm thinking of getting one a month (with the money I'm saving from not buying wine).

Spanky - Thank you....I have thought about writing but I can't nail down what exactly to write about. There are so many things that go through my head. Stay here with us....believe me, if I can do it (and i'm still trying), you can do it. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, just worry about your journey and report back here, no matter what. It doesn't matter if you fall off the horse but don't just lay on the ground....get back up and keep on moving. Every slip up is a step toward sobriety!

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening and a Sober Monday. I'll check back in tomorrow.

WS

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Not Tonight--Missing you. I know you're busy with work and kids. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you.

Juja--I really feel for you, having an ailing parent and a spouse who doesn't help out much. I've been through a bit of that. You are amazingly strong to be able to remain sober through all of this.

Clover--How is your son doing?

Queenbug--Thanks for checking in. I'm glad that you're staying strong.

Spanky--Are you talking about people in your life that have quit with no problem or people on this site? I certainly hope that I don't come off like this is no problem for me. I think I have more resolve right now because I humiliated myself in front of my stepdaughter and I don't ever want to do that again. Appearances are not always what they seem. I tend to think that anyone who has to "quit" drinking has a problem and has probably struggled with it. Just keep on coming back here and talking to us. Drinking, abstaining, whatever. Wanting to quit is half the battle. You can do it. We'll hold you up when you need help.

WineSucks--You're doing great! Onward to day 6 for you!