All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover I'm glad that they're getting to the bottom of your son's health issues. At least it sounds like the damage won't be permanent. So that is a blessing. And so is your sobriety. I'm happy that you've stayed sober through all of this. You are an amazingly strong woman!

I'm having a happy and sober night.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

I also read Russell Brand's piece on Amy Winhouse and thought it was very moving.

Clover - Still keeping you in my prayers and your Son. He is so young to be going through a health issue like that. At least you are sober. AL doesn't help anything!

I'm a little down today/tonight......Day 6 for me but I have been so sick all day that I feel like I felt before when I had a hangover. Being sick today brought back alot of bad memories of being hungover for me....not sure why. I am; however, at least relieved that I really am sick and not in bed all day due to a hangover. Also, I had some time to reflect on the past today, while I was in bed. I remembered alot of the bad hangovers I had, the times I threw-up, the headaches, the self-loathing, and I just don't want to feel like that again.

I have realized after 6 days in and having time to reflect that I really do have a problem and can't drink at all. This comes as no surprise. I started reflecting back to the first time I ever got drunk (16) and the times after that and realize that I've actually had a problem with AL my whole life. I also think that just counting the days AF will not be enough....I'm doing the daily program on Women for Sobriety but I think this will be a lifelong battle that I need to get ready for. Although I can't even imagine drinking again as of today, I need to be prepared for the little voice in the future. I need to do the WORK that it's going to take to get and stay sober. If I look at the people on this site that have been successful, they all did the work. It's like looking at people in the gym that have awesome bodies.....the body fairy didn't blow magic dust on them to make them look good....they've worked for it. It has occurred to me that I've gone most of my life, blowing with the wind without goals or a plan and I need to get some. So, that's what I'm working on now.

Thanks for letting me ramble.....hope everyone has a great evening!

WS

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WineSucks;1153068 wrote: I also read Russell Brand's piece on Amy Winhouse and thought it was very moving.

Clover - Still keeping you in my prayers and your Son. He is so young to be going through a health issue like that. At least you are sober. AL doesn't help anything!

I'm a little down today/tonight......Day 6 for me but I have been so sick all day that I feel like I felt before when I had a hangover. Being sick today brought back alot of bad memories of being hungover for me....not sure why. I am; however, at least relieved that I really am sick and not in bed all day due to a hangover. Also, I had some time to reflect on the past today, while I was in bed. I remembered alot of the bad hangovers I had, the times I threw-up, the headaches, the self-loathing, and I just don't want to feel like that again.

I have realized after 6 days in and having time to reflect that I really do have a problem and can't drink at all. This comes as no surprise. I started reflecting back to the first time I ever got drunk (16) and the times after that and realize that I've actually had a problem with AL my whole life. I also think that just counting the days AF will not be enough....I'm doing the daily program on Women for Sobriety but I think this will be a lifelong battle that I need to get ready for. Although I can't even imagine drinking again as of today, I need to be prepared for the little voice in the future. I need to do the WORK that it's going to take to get and stay sober. If I look at the people on this site that have been successful, they all did the work. It's like looking at people in the gym that have awesome bodies.....the body fairy didn't blow magic dust on them to make them look good....they've worked for it. It has occurred to me that I've gone most of my life, blowing with the wind without goals or a plan and I need to get some. So, that's what I'm working on now.

Thanks for letting me ramble.....hope everyone has a great evening!

WS

Hey girl, glad you checked in. I've been wondering how you're feeling and if you're getting any better. I'm ambivalent about counting days too. I feel like counting days makes it seem like there's going to be an end to this, but I don't think I'll ever be done counting the days because I don't think I'll ever be able to drink again. I feel like I need to stop focusing on how many days I have under my belt and just think "I don't drink" and focus on living a great life. I'm afraid of that voice telling me I'll just have one because I know it's coming for me too. And I'm afraid I'll get overly confident and let my guard down someday. So many frigging alcohol-centered events in my life. I'm supposed to go out to a bar after work next Saturday to say goodbye to a coworker who's moving away. Every damn week there's some drinking related event to attend. It makes me think that there are a hell of a lot of people out there with drinking issues. Otherwise why does practically every adult happening revolve around alcohol?

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

FlyAway - I know what you mean....it seems every freakin adult event involves AL. Thank God, I don't have any to deal with in the near future.....Why do people glamorize drinking?? Also, I don't really feel like counting days anymore because you are right.....it doesn't really matter. There isn't anything glamorous about pouring poison down our throat, only to have our liver not be able to process anything else, only to feel like total hell the next day. This is such an unhealthy way to live and I wonder when society is going to catch on to this lie and the fact that AL is just as bad as smoking or any other drugs out there. Would I have to justify not wanting to join everyone snorting cocaine? I don't think so....yet when you don't drink everyone looks at you like you have three heads and a tail!

Don't be afraid to go next Saturday.....just prepare, prepare, prepare and the leave if you have to. Don't plan on staying long. The longer you stay, the more tempted you will be. I had 12 days under my belt 4 months ago, got together with some friends and decided to drink.....Here I am 4 months later now and I still haven't made it back to 12 days. It's too much of a price to pay. Watch everyone else around you and be glad you aren't dumping poison down your throat, knowing you won't wake up feeling like crap! You can do it and we will be right here rooting for you.

Sorry for the rant....I've been doing that alot today.

[Vini]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Ok that's it for me, I am going to bed.

Day 2 is over. On to Day 3.

:new:

[mumofsix]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

YES I will join you. I arent overweight but I fought bloody hard to lose 35kgs ( close to 80 pounds) 5 years ago, become real fit and keep it off - until my alcohol consumption has started creeping up, my weight has crept up by 5 kilos and I am feeling gross, I will join you from today. In New Zealand it is Tuesday 26 July - it is 2.22pm and my first day AF.

[not tonight]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Helo all,

It's been a few days since I checked in. It's not that I was avoiding coming here, we have been away, taking the children to their grandparents and then out of town with work. Last time I wrote I was worried about a diner I had last Friday night with a couple that I find hard not to drink with. Well I did not manage to get through the evening without drinking, which I am very disappointed about. However I have not had a drink since, and feel very strong in my resolve to give up alcohol for good. I don't know what it is about this couple, but they are weak spot for me. A couple of days before we went out I considered cancelling, but my husband did not want to, and as we had not seen them in an while and they are leaving for Shri Lanka for three weeks I did not. I went into the evening without a plan, and as they say "fail to plan, plan to fail". I don't like drinking any more. The benefits are so far outweighed by the consequences. Plus that, age does not mix well with drinking, and I don't want to age like an old drunk.

I need to sit down later and read through the past 4 days to catch up. I hope everyone is having a good start to the week, and I am glad to be back.

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hya everyone...Clover, I'm glad that you have at least got a diagnosis...WS I know exactly what you mean about counting days and realising that it just doesn't end. I range from manic and busy and strong to low low low and really fighting not to buy a bottle of red. I did my 10 days, slipped and back on it for about 6(?) days...but actually have to try to see that I just need to say 'NO more, not even to celebrate, de-stress, reward myself, join in etc etc etc'....today that feels like a bit of a loss....
Am thinking that the glutamine might be another way forward?
Think this may be a rant day for me too....
Stay safe everyone xx

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Sorry, just had to drop my daughter to work...just read my last post...sorry to be whining old moo...and when I said 'back on it for about 6(?) days' ...I meant back on AF...and I guess if I want to keep myself from going under today maybe I should think that apart from the drink I had with work colleagues at 10 days, maybe I could let myself think that this might be day 17? ...nah it's cheating...
...it's 9.02 am here and tea and water and riverside dog walking and garden sorting etc etc just don't seem appealing right now...how crap is this?...I just want a drink!!!!!
BLAH!!!!! Hope I can do today :durn: xxx

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

well done Vini...keep it going
Hya Flyaway...
Nice to see you back Not Tonight...
:wave: x

[mumofsix]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Queenbug;1153173 wrote: Sorry, just had to drop my daughter to work...just read my last post...sorry to be whining old moo...and when I said 'back on it for about 6(?) days' ...I meant back on AF...and I guess if I want to keep myself from going under today maybe I should think that apart from the drink I had with work colleagues at 10 days, maybe I could let myself think that this might be day 17? ...nah it's cheating...
...it's 9.02 am here and tea and water and riverside dog walking and garden sorting etc etc just don't seem appealing right now...how crap is this?...I just want a drink!!!!!
BLAH!!!!! Hope I can do today :durn: xxx

Well it's 8.16PM on Tuesday night here in New Zealand - and I'm on Day One of being sober, I feel the loss already today is the beginning of YOUR Tuesday, dont make it a BAD one - you dont want to go back to Day One, Day 17 is such a big acheivement for you well done

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Mum6...know you are right...still hanging on..thank you x

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Everyone! Not Tonight, welcome back; try not to focus on feeling bad and guilty and instead just hop back on the wagon with renewed determination. I've already had quite a few Day 1's since coming here and it seems like most of us have.

Queenbug, I'm having those mood swings, too. I figure that might be going on for some time, and we just have to ride it out. I've had some intense anxiety over my son, and naturally the thought of that instant relaxation that wine provides has crossed my mind. Thought about it on the way home from work last night, as a matter of fact. But I told myself NO! Wine is not my friend, it is my enemy and I have to be strong and keep it away. It actually helps me to visualize myself as very powerful and strong and the wine bottle as a tiny, insignificant little thing. But, hell, I'm kind of weird and that might not work for everyone.

I'm running late; had a hard time falling asleep last night and an even harder time waking up this morning. I wish everyone a happy, sober day!

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Just wanted to say good morning Ladies before I head out. Mumof6....welcome. Not tonight....don't feel bad about having to start over, just do it....we are here for you. Day No. 7 for me and last night I went to bed visualizing a bottle of wine like a crack pipe! This made me chuckle. So that's what I'm going to think about when I think about heading to the liquor store.....it's just as powerful and addictive as any other drug.

By the way....the L-glutamine has helped me alot....not only with AL but with other sugar cravings.

Sorry for being so brief....I'll check back tonight when I get home. Have a lovely AF Day Ladies!

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hya all...thanks WS, Clover and Mum6....just got back from town with l-glut, milk thistle, Kudzo, 3ginger tea, ginger cordial, no calorie/sugar/fat blah blah elderflower teeny tiny pastels, herbal detox and 'bring your waist back' tea and incense sticks that smell of moss and leaves...gave myself 20 mins on parking so I didn't get tempted to go in other (wine available) shops....have screaming cravings today...but I'm hoping that this all constitutes a 'plan'...good luck ladies xx