All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[Rollerblader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

What is it with us women and wine? It's such a common theme here.
I have always loved wine, never been bothered really for any other drink - don't like beer, not fussed for cider or spirits, had the occasional cocktail but I really miss my wine, seems to be a real girl thing.
Anyway not to dwell on it. Thank you all for sharing your stories, you keep me going.
Night night, look forward to reading tomorrows posts,
Roller xxx

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

beautifullife;1163713 wrote: WineSucks- Congratulations to your 30 days on this Thursday!!! I am back to start this over again. I have not been on since June, which I remained AF for a week... then I lost my way fighting on again and off again since. I have come back here because it is the only thing that keeps my mind set on being AF. I have you in my buddy list and want to get back on the thread with you. Like Juja said, I immediately connected with you (when I started back in June) because of similar problems with wine. I am excited to hear that you are almost 30 days into it -- AF! I am starting my day 1, again, today and WILL NOT be leaving this thread again. You give me hope!

Welcome back, beautiful!

What's the buddy list? How do I get on it? Thanks!

Juja

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja,

go on "User CP" - "misc" - "buddy / ignore list" ... I put you as my buddy too ...

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

day 1

I just woke up with that sick, anxious feeling I get after drinking. I'm 41, 3 kids, work full time. I function fine at work and anyone who knows me would be shocked to know my drinking is out of control. It really accelerated for me when my mom was diagnosed with cancer at age 59. Over the course of the year between her being diagnosed, undergoing treatment and subsequently passing away, my wine consumption steadily increased. It's been 4 years since then and I've been trying to fight it on my own, but I desperately need support. Reading the posts on this thread brought tears to my eyes this morning. Drinking ratchets up my anxiety, makes me depressed and defeats all my efforts to lose weight. I want 30 days AF...my body and brain need them.

[Rollerblader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Ooooh Allybee welcome here.

I am so sorry to hear about your mother, that is so sad. It's really hard to deal with stuff like that without falling back on some sort of crutch, and you are totally not alone in choosing alcohol, as I think pretty much all of us on here can relate to that. I really feel for you.

You sound exactly how I have felt for years. I am in my late 20s, happily married with a lovely home, pets and a really responsible job and I think my life looks pretty idyllic from the outside (and it is, apart from the bad things which are entirely of my own making).

I too think a lot of people would be surprised if they knew how my "weekend party-girl" persona intrudes into and affects the rest of my life. I've been drinking very heavily for years, with lots of negative consequences, and just about 5 days ago I woke up one morning and decided I had had enough.

I found this website and it has help me so much - through the first 2 days of scary anxiety and just not having wine as my usual crutch, to now, the end of AF Day 5 where I'm in a sort of sad place feeling out of touch with my old life, and like my days off aren't so much fun, and I will never again be that girl in her strappy maxi dress and heels sitting at a trendy beachside bar laughing with her friends and husband over the third bottle of chardy...

But like you I am determined not to drink. I thought I drank to control my anxiety but now I think my drinking caused it. If drinking didn't make me depressed it certainly didn't in any way help me to get over it. I'm taking it one day at a time, and you can too. You will have so much support on here. Welcome. Let's do it together :-)

Rollergirl & my faithful companion the Rollerdog haha

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Welcome Allybee. I've only been on here a little over a week, but it has been my salvation. Everyone here is welcoming, warm, helpful, and non-judgmental. It's a cliche, but take it one day at a time. Just get through today alcohol-free. Rollerblader has some good advice about alcohol often causing the stress that we think it is supposed to be relieving.
Don't be shy about coming here as often as you need to. We've all been where you are, sometimes very often.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hey Ladies - Hope everyone is relaxing this evening.

Juja - First Congrats....I believe today is 30 days for you so YOU ROCK!!!! Also, I know what you mean about the weight thing. Once I hit 40, I realized that I have to exercise to get anywhere...the weight won't just come off anymore. Also, I know its not funny but you were cracking me up about being in the car with your husband....that's how I felt last week riding to work with mine. If I didn't think he would have had an accident, I would have slapped him!
TN - You are in Maryland too! Thats great. I would love to get together with you and Juja. It sounds like fun and can only add to the support!
Twinkle - 2 weeks is incredible.....keep up the good work!
Roller - I understand your feelings, which I think are normal. 5 days is great! I felt blah for at least 2-1/2 weeks. I expected to feel energetic and happy and I just felt plain old crappy! It gets better so try not to worry about it. Rest when you want to and drink warm water with fresh lemon juice...it removes the toxins from your body.
Beautiful - Welcome back and congrats on Day 1. Don't worry about having to start over. I had to start over at least 4 times, maybe more before I was able to get this far and I STILL have cravings but it gets easier. Stay here and post. I try to at least check in everyday, if I can. It keeps me accountable.
Shue - Congrats on fighting the urge girl....It's difficult and I still fight the urge. I haven't made up my mind about after 30 days, but I'll probably keep on going AF because I'm afraid I'll try to mod and then the whole awful cycle will start again.

And last but not least.....Ally welcome and boy do we know that feeling you are describing! That's why we are all here.....because we are sick and tired of feeling like that. Also, I am very sorry for the untimely loss of your Mother. I too, lost my Mom when she was 54 to cancer. They both died at such an early age. I honestly think the loss of my Mom was probably the beginning of all of my AL issues but I just couldn't see it and then it progressed. The good news for you is that it's been 4 years.....I let myself go for 8 years before I started to realize I have a problem, so you are ahead of the game! This is the beginning of a process and you will probably feel many different things that surprise you. I know I did and so have the others. This site has been a Godsend. One mistake I made when I first got here was that I just started posting without doing any of the work. Then I realized, after failing a couple of times, that I needed a plan. Go to the toolbox, read and come up with a plan. There is also a good group of ladies in the fitness thread. I try to check in everyday....it keeps me focused. Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Yep, it's official: I'm 30 Days AF as of today. Ta-da. I never thought it possible, and couldn't have done it without all of you wonderful people. That's the god's honest truth. No way could I have done it on my own. Merci, my friends.

The struggle isn't over, however. I hear this quiet voice in my AL genes gently whispering, "Maybe a few chardonnays on vacation...?" I don't have to listen: it's not a command, just a thought.

Nite, dear loveys! :lipstick::lipstick:

P.S. Ally--welcome. You're obviously not alone! I hated the anxiety and depression that followed heavy drinking. I'd have to tell myself, 'Just get through today, just get through today; it's just the AL. Next time, eat before you down a bottle." So what would happen? Another bottle, same sh*t. What misery. Keep giving it a go, and you'll soon feel the bad feeling disipate--that's a promise.:h

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Thank you for all the warm welcomes! Feeling so terrible this morning, I'm not really tempted tonight, but I know a day or two from now, I'll start to have those thoughts that seem so benign and reasonable..."just one glass to sip and unwind"...that a bottle later turn into a morning like this morning. WineSucks, you're right about having a plan to prepare for that; I'll get started on that. I'm sorry about your mom, too. Being a busy mother of 3 young kids, losing my mother meant losing vital emotional support and help with the kids. Drinking became my short cut to relax and avoid some of the work of grief that I just didn't have time or energy for.

I do feel a glimmer of hope being here. I've never reached out for support and I think it's going to make a big difference. It certainly seems like it has to you all.

Congrats on 30 days, Juja! It's so good to know there's light at the end of the tunnel (and being AF by then, it won't hurt my hungover head seeing it!)

[Rollerblader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja! well done girl! 30 days AF wow! that's so great :-) I can only imagine how good your body and mind must feel. Wish I was where you are! Are you continuing AF then? You're so committed, I applaud you :goodjob:

Allybee - I think everyone on here can relate to what you're describing, especially us (formerly) wine-loving women. I'm nearly at the end of AF day 6 now and boy has it has it's tough moments. But nearly a week AF I'm proud of that.

Tons - I'm with you on the ODAAT thing. When I start to feel sad and like I'm missing my wine I just say "well maybe tomorrow, but I'll leave it for today" that's all we can do isn't it? As a very wise lady called Shueaddict wrote (either on this thread or another, I can't remember!) if you don't give your AL monster anything to drink it will eventually die of thirst! That's a mental image that makes me laugh when I feel down.

WS - thanks for the support. good to know how I feel is normal. At least I'm just sad, not that anxious agitated depression you get with a hangover, partly caused by not remembering what idiotic or offensive thing you did / said / emailed the night before.

Keep it going ladies! Think we're all helping each other through - I sure as hell know you guys are helping me.

Keep wheelin' ;-) :thanks:

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Just a quick note, Ally - when wine starts calling me, telling me how nice just a cold glass will be I visualize the glass of full of dirt and worms. Immediately puts me off having a glass. May sound silly and perhaps it won't work for you, but it does the trick for me, so perhaps it wouldn't hurt for you to visualize that glass full of whatever disgusts you the most.

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Ladies! I'm running late, but wanted to at least say "hey" today.

Juja, congratulations on making 30 days!! It's a great feeling, isn't it? Even when things aren't perfect or especially when they're not, it's SO much better to greet each day with a clear head and go to bed at night with a clear conscience!

I hope everyone has a lovely, sober Tuesday!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Oh, man, I may need valium to replace wine! It's that time of the year for me when things at work go crazy. So far, it's been a new crisis every morning and it's only Tuesday! Yikes, it's a good thing that, as Clover says, I can greet the day without all that fuzziness and go to sleep each night feeling good about myself! I need to keep telling myself that drinking wine would just make this all that much worse.

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Welcome allybee! I hear what you say about body and brain needing 30 AF. I was here back in June and getting my act together, then I fell off-- forgetting what is important... remaining AF for me, my 2 children, my wonderful husband. I am back and it is nice to meet you. The people here are truely amazing and they help give the support needed to make it through. Stay here and don't fall off. Best wishes to you!

Juja- Hello! Thank you for your kind welcome back! It certainly is wonderful to be back here! Best wishes to you! Were you able to get set up with the buddy list?

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello Ladies, I am just here checking in!

Wine- thank you for your post and encouragement. I will definitely be here checking in everyday, and I will also check out the toolbox to make a plan.

Allybee- I welcomed you above in the link and I just want to do it again.

Juja- I am saying hello, again, to you here (I did it above) and want to say congratulations on 31 days AF!

Best wishes! and Thank you, ALL!!