All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Morning

First time in years that I have woken up without that full fuzzy horrible feeling - Girls, I did it. I did my first day and night AF. I cannot believe it. Had bit of trouble falling asleep and woke quite a few times but I had the best sleep I had in years. Without you and your messages, there is no way I would have been able to even manage 24 hours. Here's to day 2.

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Ladies! It's Friday and I just love Fridays again! This used to be my night to rush off to the liquor store after work and then rush home .... to sit on my deck and drink ALONE. My first couple of AF Fridays were a bit tough, but now it's just a lovely evening to relax after the work week. I nearly always have plans with friends, and tonight it's an estate-sale preview and dinner.

Crimsons and Cailinog, welcome to this very friendly and helpful place. I could not have put down the wine bottle without all of the great and supportive people here. Check in frequently and post a lot, it will help you. You can do this!

I hope you all have a lovely, sober, fun Friday!

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

To Clover

Thanks Clover ! It is great to know that this support network is here. Never thought I would be able to do it - imagine 24 hours AFhttps://www.mywayout.org/community/images/smilies/hug.gif

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning or Good day to everyone! To Cailinog and Crimsons, great job on Day One! That is one of the biggest hurdles to conquer and you did it! Try to remember this feeling of waking up and being ready to face the day. I used to love it, but when the wine came calling later that day it overpowered my recollections. I know I sound like a broken record, but coming here and finding out that all of my same fears, worries, and problems with drinking were shared by so many made the difference.
Ok, off to work!

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello all, and so many new people,

I was away on business and my blackberry did not cooperate, I lost 3 posts and then my patience altogether..

Anyhoo ? with so much stress in work I craved a drink EVERY night ? even after all this time AF .. it should be disheartening but I am accepting the fact that the AF monster will not die of thirst quite that easily. I managed OK though and stayed on AF beer ( it is so hot here ?) I had a sip of celebratory champagne but no more.

I still live in fear of wine ? I fear that if I taste it again I will be back to where I started in no time ? I got really scared of my withdrawal reactions in the first few weeks AF and I really do not want to have another go on that particular emotional rollercoaster. And my body felt like I was hit by a bus ... I really do not want to go back there again .. or EVER having another hangover.

WS ? congrats on 30 days , my initial inspiration!!!

Cailing74 ? just like you , WS?s first post resonated so much that it brought me to this site and kept me mostly AF since July 8th . And Allybee ? keep positing girls on your first AF weekend. Keep busy, it can be tough if you are alone . I?ll be on call.

Twinkle / Enough ? my worst episode of falling - Last year I got back in a state from my neighbor next door, forgot we have a porch step and fell straight flat . Forget scraping all limbs, I hit my chin on the hard stone and chipped a tooth too. Since then my chin is crooked. I later lied to my hubby that the dogs tripped me while playing. It sounded like a plausible story since we have a massive and playful black dog and so do the neighbors but somehow I don?t think he believed me. Did that teach me? No? I had to sink even lower.

Turnagain ? in the first month I saved enough for a pair of Jimmy Choos ? what kind of puppy did you get? I found my dog was priceless help in my fight with AL

Tons ? one day at a time, we?re all in the same boat ? I am still on track for AF August ? after that? who knows?

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning Ladies

Crimsons- Welcome and congratulations on Day 1. I believe you are the one in the "newbies" thread that posted the URL for a private coach? I am afraid to go back and check because I will lose this... anyway, if that Was you, Thank You. I went to that website an submitted my info. This is a wonderful thread here also, so again welcome.

I have to be honest and say it has not clicked YET with me.

Tons- You said it perfectly about the wine calling and overpowering any good recollections... I want that wine voice to shrivel up and die.

I will check back today with you all, and as I have been saying each day. I am going to start Day 1, AGAIN. I sound and feel like a broken record.

Love to you all! Have a beautiful day!

goal: AF 30 days

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Shuaddict - like you, I am actually afraid of what I will do if I even taste wine. It seems to be an ever ending thirst. Haven't we all done the most sickening of things with wine. My nose bled out one night in bed when I had collasped from wine and I knew nothing about it until my DH came upto bed and thought I had been stabbed or something. Did that stop me buying and drinking that damned poison ?. Hell no.

I come from parents who never drank a day in their lives and had no interest in drink, however, I must be honest with myself and you all, both my brother and my sister and of course me - have a problem with it. Imagine never to have to struggle like this with alcohol. I have to stay away from it for me and my gorgeous kids and DH. Can I ? With all your messages, it seems possible this hour !!!

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Ah, Cailin, at first I wanted to forget all the terrible things I did while drunk but now I actually want to revisit those memories from time to time and remind myself why I don?t want to drink.

Like the 2 times when I passed out in my son?s bed while reading him a bed time story ? then crawled into my bed at 3 AM.

Having said that , look for as many diversions and distractions as possible to avoid your AL triggers. I wrote my triggers down and in the first weeks I had fun tring to dodge them. Posting on this site helped each time.

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Shoe - I once thought I could Change my shower curtain after a night with the wine bottle. Of course, I slipped, fell back in the tub and luckily only ended up with a nasty bump on the back of my head, but did I stop? H*ll no. I've cut myself while cooking and drinking, woke up with bruises from who knows how, and had many other scrapes and bumps from drinking. But one of my biggest fears on waking after my many drinking nights was that I had forgotten to bring my two dogs in from outside because I would have been too drunk to have heard them barking.

BL - It took me many tries to stop drinking. I still don't know if this will take, but I feel more confident and in control now than ever before. I think I had to have my final binge of 1.5+ L of wine for 7 nights straight and a huge fight with my husband over something totally inconsequential before I had the resolve to give it up for good.

Cailinog - My father was a recovering alcoholic who counseled and worked with both alcoholics and drug addicts. My mother didn't drink at all and was actually afraid of alcohol so I grew up in a dry house too. I think there is a silver lining there, though, because we know that you don't need alcohol around to have a social life (then again, all of my parents' friends were in AA so that helped) and that it doesn't have to be a part of your life.

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

day 5, first AF weekend

Hello and welcome cailinog and Crimsons! This is day 5 for me and I don't know that I would have made it through without the support here. Please post frequently and let us know how you're doing!

I sooooo wanted to "start my weekend" last night. Instead, I went to bed early, feeling a bit sad, a little irritable, but, waking up this morning made that feeling worth it. No fuzziness, no sick stomach and headache.

Tonight (Friday night), is my real witching hour. I can feel that sad feeling waiting in the wings, that little pleading voice saying that it's not fair...I had a hard week and should be able to have a drink and relax. I have to remind myself what giving into that turns into: drained bottles, not remembering exactly what happened the night before, regret, feeling sick, all the excess calories and poison I've put in my body...that's where that voice leads. Not drinking tonight will mean that no part of Saturday will get wasted in nursing my headache and sick stomach or tears about how I wish I could stop. My visualization for tonight is waking up tomorrow refreshed and with no regret.

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover, SarahJane - I love your posts, your newfound energy and confidence !!! I read all your posts from the beginning and you can definitely notice the change. It?s so encouraging ? It gives me confidence that I can change my wicked ways too.

Beautiful ? I felt the ?click? but still had a few slips after ? I think people come here because things just don?t ?click? for them so easily, otherwise we would all have stopped drinking the first horrible morning we swore off alcohol.

Ally ? day 5 is big !!!! The pleading little voice is what got you here in the first place ! Tell it to shut the hell up!!! The first weekend I too felt like a wronged woman, everyone drink in hand, I have to find solace and relaxation in Perrier & lime. Felt like the most unfair thing in the world . Also felt good in the morning.

I have a big leaving party for Irish friends tomorrow, I shall bring my own 2 bottles of Perrier and maybe some AF beer .

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Well done allybee

Allybee - 5 days. You brave determined person you ! I can already hear the voice waiting in the wings for tonight like you. Hard week in work. Off for two weeks - why can't I have a drink like everyone else. I have to remember that I am not like everyone else. I can't stop and I have to reclaim my life. How many mornings have I woken up and wondered what time my 10 and 11 year old went to bed, did I have have sex with my DH ? Even now, I cringe at the thoughts of the shame. Be rest assured I will be posting loads over the next few hours. Witching hour is starting early !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SarahJane]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello wonderful people,
My biggest dilemma this Friday night is will I go for my 8 mile run tomorrow or Sunday? When I realized that I hadn't even thought about wine for 1 second on a Friday night I nearly laughed. It is 8.15pm, I would normally be nearly done with a bottle of red & wanting more- finishing off my husbands glass if he wasn't looking or popping into my neighbor in the hope she would insist I have a glass (or 3) with her. What a relief not to live like that anymore. The struggle has definitely subsided but I will never get too relaxed about it. I know if I had 1 sip I would be right back there again. At first I felt very sad about that but then, several Day 1's later, I got it. Don't have the first glass. Seems very simple now- but I have spent years trying to cut down or trying to have an AF week or month.

While we are an the story of injuries from drinking-I am constantly reminded of one from a scar on my knee. I was at a friends 50th, a day after coming out of hospital 3 years ago when I had just had a miscarriage. I probably shouldn't have gone out at all, but was delighted to start feeling better after a few drinks. I refused to go home with my DH, stayed on dancing & drinking for hours. When I finally got a lift home later I fell on the stony driveway in high heels & sliced my knee open about an inch. When I woke in the morning there was blood everywhere. I knew I should have stitches but was too sick & hungover to drive- so I had to fix it myself. I am going to another good friends 50th in 2 weeks, my first big party AF, at least I wont have to worry about injuring myself after that.

I hope you are all having a great Friday night- it will get easier if you are struggling. You have a choice when it comes to the first sip.
Looking forward to my 30 days this weekend- I can't count! Think it is Sunday- will celebrate it with a good run & some lovely family time.

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Haven't we all some scary stories ? How do our wonderful husbands/partners stick with us at all ? Imagine day 2 for me and it is 21.37. Had a few scary thoughts earlier on but few deeeeeeeepppp breaths and here I am still AF

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Allybee

How is your Friday going ?