All I Want Is 30 Days AF
Ranting alert!
I haven't posted for awhile due to too many incredibly difficult, life-changing events occurring at the same time. I'm afraid if I start typing, I won't stop-- just like my crying of late. However, I want to rant, and maybe that will help my relieve some of my grief and frustration. So this rant is about husbands.
Many "DHs," as I've learned from 30 years of marriage, and from talking with friends, are insecure, lack sensitivity, must be the alpha human in the house at all times, so are therefore controlling, no matter what it takes. Their jabs, sarcasm, passive aggressive behavior, and plain old meaness leave me speechless, whether for me, or my friends. We, for the most part, avoid those negative tendencies at all costs. I can't tell you how many times my husband has noticed my attempts to not drink, but will bring home my favorite wine, or call and ask me if I'd like some wine from the store. That sabotaging from someone who's suppose to love me, and have my best interests in mind, would leave me dumbfounded. However, after 5+ weeks of being AF, and during one of the worst periods of my life, he's finally showing some respect. I don't know what's changed, but I am damn sure it's had something to do with HIM, and not necessarily caring about me or my well-being. He's yet to say a word about me not drinking, or how happy is he for me/us, etc. He's reduced his AL intake, and is now exercising. He feels a need to one-upp me by pointing all this it out without once encouraging me.
A dear friend once said, "Men are good for lifting heavy things, and that's about it." Mine can't even do that because he'll hurt his back, his shoulders hurt, etc. I firmly belive that nature plays on trick on us when we fall in love, and decide we can't live without this person, crave sex all the time, and marry. It's simply nature's way of saying "procreate, procreate!"
Another thing: Many people will say that wars are caused by religion, and I always disagree. I believe wars are caused by testosterone. Period.
I know this sounds harsh, but I'm angry and hurting about many things, and getting no support; just neediness from my DH, who should be holding me as I cry.
Dear Shue, Wine, Tons, QB, Enough: I've been with you for awhile now, and couldn't have made it AF without you. I haven't deserted you--- just too much happening now, and I don't have the energy to post. I love all of you.
Twinkle, Beautiful, Ally, cailingng: I truly support you, and will try to be there for you in the near future. Just remember: don't look back, don't look forward, just keep going.
Gregorino, and other dear males who possess the security to ask for help, and who interact positively: I'm sorry if my rant hurts you. It may not apply to you guys at all, and if it doesn't, I apologize for what may seem to be a huge generalization. I've seen this behavior from far too many men, and therefore am not imagining it. My friends and I are baffled by it, and can't understand it. Venus/Mars, I guess.
So, that's my grief-stricken rant for the day. Many of you won't agree, or don't have the same experience, but that's my take on DHs and marriage.
I leave you all with hopes for a wonderful AF weekend. Mine will defintiely be AF. This past week has been a test, and I have passed with flying colors.
xoxox Juja
Ranting alert!
I haven't posted for awhile due to too many incredibly difficult, life-changing events occurring at the same time. I'm afraid if I start typing, I won't stop-- just like my crying of late. However, I want to rant, and maybe that will help my relieve some of my grief and frustration. So this rant is about husbands.
Many "DHs," as I've learned from 30 years of marriage, and from talking with friends, are insecure, lack sensitivity, must be the alpha human in the house at all times, so are therefore controlling, no matter what it takes. Their jabs, sarcasm, passive aggressive behavior, and plain old meaness leave me speechless, whether for me, or my friends. We, for the most part, avoid those negative tendencies at all costs. I can't tell you how many times my husband has noticed my attempts to not drink, but will bring home my favorite wine, or call and ask me if I'd like some wine from the store. That sabotaging from someone who's suppose to love me, and have my best interests in mind, would leave me dumbfounded. However, after 5+ weeks of being AF, and during one of the worst periods of my life, he's finally showing some respect. I don't know what's changed, but I am damn sure it's had something to do with HIM, and not necessarily caring about me or my well-being. He's yet to say a word about me not drinking, or how happy is he for me/us, etc. He's reduced his AL intake, and is now exercising. He feels a need to one-upp me by pointing all this it out without once encouraging me.
A dear friend once said, "Men are good for lifting heavy things, and that's about it." Mine can't even do that because he'll hurt his back, his shoulders hurt, etc. I firmly belive that nature plays on trick on us when we fall in love, and decide we can't live without this person, crave sex all the time, and marry. It's simply nature's way of saying "procreate, procreate!"
Another thing: Many people will say that wars are caused by religion, and I always disagree. I believe wars are caused by testosterone. Period.
I know this sounds harsh, but I'm angry and hurting about many things, and getting no support; just neediness from my DH, who should be holding me as I cry.
Dear Shue, Wine, Tons, QB, Enough: I've been with you for awhile now, and couldn't have made it AF without you. I haven't deserted you--- just too much happening now, and I don't have the energy to post. I love all of you.
Twinkle, Beautiful, Ally, cailingng: I truly support you, and will try to be there for you in the near future. Just remember: don't look back, don't look forward, just keep going.
Gregorino, and other dear males who possess the security to ask for help, and who interact positively: I'm sorry if my rant hurts you. It may not apply to you guys at all, and if it doesn't, I apologize for what may seem to be a huge generalization. I've seen this behavior from far too many men, and therefore am not imagining it. My friends and I are baffled by it, and can't understand it. Venus/Mars, I guess.
So, that's my grief-stricken rant for the day. Many of you won't agree, or don't have the same experience, but that's my take on DHs and marriage.
I leave you all with hopes for a wonderful AF weekend. Mine will defintiely be AF. This past week has been a test, and I have passed with flying colors.
xoxox Juja
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