All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good evening Lovely Ladies, checking in before bed..

The party was fun, but thankfully it is over and I have had an amazing day. Thank you, ALL, for your thoughts and best wishes. I love you all... AND...I made my revelation to stop my nonsense with this damed wine monster and I feel wonderful about it! Today has not been too difficult because I finally realize how sick that poison is making me feel. Congratulations SJ on 30 days, and congratulations to everyone on your continued success in staying AF!! I am in this journey with you all, my Lovely Ladies!! Welcome to a new beautiful life!!! I will be back in the morning. Sweet dreams, much love and best in life to you all! xoxo

Beautifullife

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning my lovelies, I have good news and bad news:

The Good ? I have found out I have a truly good friend ? I have told her a while ago I was staying off the booze and she has been quietly supportive ( ie. Offered me no wine and never asked me why I stopped). On Saturday she organized this big leaving party for our Irish friends and she showed me my special section in her fridge ? 2 six packs of AF beer. She said she did not want me to feel left out or questioned while everyone is holding drinks. I nearly cried.

It was a scorching day and I must have drank 2 liters of that stuff and watched everyone getting progressively more sloshed, getting in their cars and driving home. I helped with the clean up and took a few other merry friends in my car (that were considering driving) . Got stopped by the cops at 1 AM, breathalyzer test ? passed with flying colors and then the officer apologized that they had to do it although I looked OK because only 1 hour ago they stopped a foreign woman driving intoxicated with her merry hubby and 2 kids in the car, ?can you imagine?? he said. GOD GOD GOD !!!! That could be one of my friends. WORSE ? this could have been me some time ago.

My hubby told me that he was very proud of me that night for sticking to not drinking ( ?. and not ending up with a DUI). And that he?d join me too on an AF holiday next week.

The Bad ? I woke up a bit tired but clearheaded on Sunday and while cooking I got the usual urge to drink. My defenses were on low after the success of the previous night and a little feeling of entitlement crept in (that damned AL devil is cunning putting novel thoughts in my head) . I considered my usual MO - sneaking upstairs and swigging gin straight from the bottle. NO ! No more drinking in hiding! I made myself a big G&T, complete with lemon strips and straw. Hubby encouraged me too. Then another ? then another . The gin finished thankfully ?I have to be honest and admit that I would have had a forth. I did not sleep that well and dreamt that I was thirsty. I am not completely mad at myself for slipping; this only goes to prove that I cannot control my drinking.

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja, sweetie, sorry for not reading this earlier ? have big hug from me ? as for hubby - just tune him out ? go back into your ?woman cave? for as long as you need to. You are a wonderful giving and caring person which no snarky remark can take away from you. The sadness in you post just hurts me. I?ll pray for you and your brother. How is he?

I also thought you and WineSucks might find this prayer useful :

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover, my strong willed friend, how is your son? You are amazing, still AF. It?s very hot here too, but not humid like Florida- since quitting AL I have started gardening ? OK, just potted flowers, but I find it very soothing to give them TLC morning and evening. They reward me instantly.

SJ ? Congratulations on 30 days ? and your running. You are quite the inspiration.

Tons ? I am the only one recycling in my complex ? and I am now proud to fill the box up with Perrier and AF beer bottles

Twinkle ? Amen to ? we?re wired up differently? that just clicked for me.

Ally ? 8 days now, you cracked the week, well done!

Turnagain / Caili ? I also dreaded Sober Sex. Once, on holiday just with hubby , after 1 bottle each he told me sweetly in the morning me that that night was just the best ever of his life. Sadly, I had no recollection of what I?ve done. I desperately wanted to try hypnosis just to get that memory back !!! I thought it funny at the time, now I shiver at the thought.
Stay strong ladies, wish you a wonderful week

Crimson - I read your other posts too, glad to see you here

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Everyone! Monday, blah ... I do not feel like going to work. My niece, her husband and their brand new baby are here visiting and I just want to stay home and hang out with them.

Shue, I had quite a few "slips" before I finally got my 30 days. So please just keep trying and coming back here to share! Things with my son are about the same. He's doing better physically, but still having some symptoms. Unfortunately, he's spending a lot of time with the psycho and so I've distanced myself from him. We did not celebrate his birthday at all; he spent it with her and seems to spend every night he has off from work with her. He actually did come out for dinner with us last night, since one of his favorite cousins was here. And I guarantee, he has or will catch hell from the girlfriend for spending time with his family.

So, I am still AF, but the last week or so have been kind of crappy. I don't want to drink, but I feel pretty down and lethargic. Maybe when we finally get some nice, cooler weather I'll start to cheer up again. I was thinking this morning that if I had woke up hung over, things would seem A LOT worse!

I hope everyone has a nice, sober Monday!

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Shueaddict - that poison has a way of playing tricks with us. Please don't beat yourself up over the G&T. My biggest delight in you was that you didn't do it in hiding. You faced it in front of your husband and that can be soo hard - to let down our guard in front of the ones we love the most. You are over it and you are an inspiration to me. Here I am day 5 and if it wasn't for you and the brave Girlies posting here with your life stories, I would have not have even day 1. You keep that good friend who stocked up on the AF Beers close to you. She may need you as much as you need her.

Love you lots and jelly tots from Ireland.

Cailinog74

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning, Lovely Ladies! I have been trying to catch up on the posts as I start this beautiful day.

Shue- Please be forgiving of yourself. I have slipped many, many, MANY times before I finally said to hell with this AL demon that I have. I had to "start over" this weekend, in fact... So we are close by in our start days of AF and I will be here to support you with anything.

Juja- I hope you are well, and send big hugs. I am sorry to hear about your pain.

Ally- Congratulations!! Head up and stay strong you are doing amazingly well!

Caili and Wine- Just wanted to say hello, good morning (afternoon)! I hope your day is great!

I will be back soon!

Beautifullife

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Too busy a day ahead to spend time posting, but I'll eventually get back with lots of my own updates, and with encouragement and love to all my secret, loving, big-hearted friends here.

Have a good Monday.

XOX Juja

P.S. Shue--love you, girl!

[SarahJane]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Had a lovely family day yesterday with the in-laws. But when dinner was being served everyone was having wine I poured my fizzy water quietly & my brother-in-law asked why I wasn't having wine. I just said I wasn't drinking. Another one heard & then the entire lot of them were at me for not drinking- I kept my cool & said I was working on getting really healthy & wine was getting in my way. I said I felt much better, was sleeping better & able to do more exercise.
I felt like screaming 'WHY DOES ME NOT HAVING A GLASS OF WINE HAVE TO BE SUCH A BIG F...ING DEAL?' But of course I didn't, as I suppose maybe it is a big deal, I was always the first to open the wine & the last one looking for 'one small drop more'.
Decided not to mention the fact that I was having a huge battle with AL for 10 years & it was ruining my life- don't want them all talking about my 'drink problem'. They were all a bit defensive & one sis-in-law asked how I could enjoy a meal without it? I just said that if the food tastes nice & I have nice company then I will enjoy it. None of them drink much, they don't even finish a glass with dinner. They really have no idea but I wasn't going to spell it out to them. I remember when a friend stopped drinking years ago that I felt so sorry for her as she 'couldn't' drink anymore because she was addicted to it. So I will leave them in their blissful ignorance- they are lovely people. Later when I refused desert they thought I had really lost the plot! Then one of them said as I was leaving-: that I was very determined & strong with my new healthy habits & she envied me!

We just have to do what we have to do.

Shue- hope you are ok today. Maybe you need a plan next time the AL devil starts talking to you and let your husband know what you want him to do. Like get out of the house for a walk. You did great at the party. Can you get all of the AL out of the house?

Must fly to the beach, summer is fading quickly here so have to get all of it that I can.

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi girls, Just checking in. I am headed in to a really busy, hectic time at work so I won't have as much time to post. SJ - you will be 30 days tomorrow. Great job! Shue - I"m with the others, don't worry about the G & T. It's the cumulative effect that matters and you have been AF a whole lot more days that you have been WA (with alcohol!). Caili and Allybee, and BL - you are all doing great too. Isn't this board amazing at keeping us on track? I had a dream/nightmare on Sat. night that I had spent the evening drinking. I woke up so mad at myself and it took a few moments before I realized it was a dream!

Spent yesterday afternoon at a party with my husband's old college friends. A few of them had beers or gin and tonics, but most didn't drink at all. Once again, I was amazed because just a few weeks ago I would have been into the wine right away and would have spent the afternoon figuring out how to keep my glass constantly refilled without anyone really noticing. What a relief to know I wasn't embarrassing to my husband (who also didn't drink at all), to myself, or to the hosts.

Ok, and if I don't check in too often don't worry. I work at a college and the next 16 weeks will be very busy!

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Well, it's a lovely summer night here and I just wanted to say thanks to al of you for the supportive messages.

SJ, you were right, I was not prepared, I was not on my game plan. I'll just learn from this and move on.

My sis in law grilled me too over not drinking at her daughter's 1st birthday (and I am the godmother). And she's a lawyer and she was relentless trying to get to the bottom of why have I just stopped all of a sudden. I was only 10 day AF and definitely not ready for that. I just stubbornly carried on the Perrier and told her I just don't feel like it.

Tons, caili, beautiful and clover, hang in there ladies and nighty night

[Zimmerman]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

shueaddict;1167137 wrote:
My sis in law grilled me too over not drinking at her daughter's 1st birthday (and I am the godmother). And she's a lawyer and she was relentless trying to get to the bottom of why have I just stopped all of a sudden.

Shueaddict,

I don't know your situation at all, but, generally speaking, if a woman is found to not be drinking in a situation when they normally would, she is often assumed to be pregnant. That typically stirs curiosity in those who observe the behavior.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

What a beautifuly day it was today!!!! Had a somewhat hectic day at the office, came home and went for a bikeride around the water with my husband. Settling in to try to make some vacation decisions. This year we are going when the kids go back to school (I've never done this before but our kids are in the second year of college).
Shue - The prayer about husbands cracked me up. Also, don't worry about the gin and tonics......you are doing great!
Beautiful L - Glad to see everything went okay. You seem to be in a good place!
Clover - You continue to be an inspiration.....I think your son will start to come around. Eventually, he will get sick of that girl!
Tons - Good going on the party! You must feel so good about being in a better place with the AL.
SJ - I don't know why the hell everyone has to make a big deal out of NOT drinking! Sometimes, I think it makes people feel better about themselves to drag others into the AL.
Juja - Just wanted to say hi and hope all is going okay. Big hugs to you!!!!
Cailin - Good going on Day 5!!!!!!

Okay, time to fess up for me......That stupid AL voice has been doing a number on me lately. Like this evening, it was so beautiful outside and my neighbors were sitting on their front porches, chatting and drinking wine. Also, my husband and I are going away to the beach for a week and we usually have wine in the evening, while we watch the sunset. Today, I had a hard time imagining going on vacation and not doing this. Somehow the idea of sipping on freakin iced tea didn't do too much for me. I really wish I could get to a point where I didn't have these thoughts at all!!! So any thoughts to "pull me off the ledge" are welcome....I'll need the support in the next couple of weeks.

Hope everyone has a beautiful evening and a great day tomorrow!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS, I absolutely understand your worry about going to the beach and wanting to sip wine. After starting and stopping so many times, I continually remind myself that as unfair as it is, I simply cannot drink the way other people can. I know that one glass will become two, then four, then six, then the bottle will be gone and I will be drinking anything else I can get my hands on. Then I will fall asleep/pass out and wake up disgusted with myself.

After all that, the iced tea sounds pretty good.

[Turnagain]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Ever since I faced the fact that I cannot moderate, I found it a bit easier to deal with the envy that pops up when I'm around 'civilians' who are drinking.

More power to all of you who endure each new social situation without drinking....Shue...Ally...Crims...TonstW and all others here. It was strange for me, too, at first. And I didn't always succeed. But as someone wise said....you only fail, if you don't try.

I am beginning to really enjoy being dry. I don't really miss the taste...not even a great Malbec or a great smoked porter. As my precious daughter said to me last week...someone's got to be sober for the revolution!

Clover...tell the voice to STFU.

SJ...Congrats..my sober sister. We quit on the same day. Feels good, doesn't it?