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All I Want Is 30 Days AF

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    All I Want Is 30 Days AF

    Hi everyone,
    I haven't caught up with all of the postings, but I hope to be able to post more now that my life has returned to a semblance of normal. I have to confess to two relatively minor slips during my saga with my sick husband. One day I had to come home to get some things from here and run some errands and found myself home alone at night on a Saturday. I convinced myself that I had had such a bad week, given my husband almost dying and all, that I deserved some wine. I bought some, drank a few glasses, felt so bad I went to bed at nine and woke up the next morning about 12 hours later, luckily not hung over but with a realization that drinking didn't help me one bit. Then, this past Friday when I brought my husband home, I drank what little gin he had left in his bottle that he used to drink from.
    Neither time was much drinking, but they loosed the old cravings a bit more so I have been fighting what was nearly gone after over a month sober. Anyway, we have absolutely no alcohol in the house now, which is a good thing, and since my husband can't drink anymore, we won't have any. I plan to keep on with the sober life and not worry so much about whether it is Day one or not.

    So for those of you struggling, I would throw the idea of Day One out the window. Just move forward and re-commit yourself to every day being Day One and count yourself successful that you have more sober days than drinking days. I honestly don't feel that I failed in any way by drinking some during one of the most stressful times of my life. This is a process, not an endgame. For some reason, I needed to say "f*ck it" as some wise soul on here once told Juja. So what if I did? None of us are failures, we are at least trying to kick this. Just get back up and keep trying!
    Good habits breed good habits; bad habits breed bad habits.

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      All I Want Is 30 Days AF

      tonstantweader;1180770 wrote: So for those of you struggling, I would throw the idea of Day One out the window. Just move forward and re-commit yourself to every day being Day One and count yourself successful that you have more sober days than drinking days. I honestly don't feel that I failed in any way by drinking some during one of the most stressful times of my life. This is a process, not an endgame. For some reason, I needed to say "f*ck it" as some wise soul on here once told Juja. So what if I did? None of us are failures, we are at least trying to kick this. Just get back up and keep trying!
      Excellent advice, Tonst, and just what I needed. :l
      "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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        All I Want Is 30 Days AF

        I second that. Tonstant, you make a lot of sense and give me a smidgen of hope. I'm glad things are going better for you. You've really been through the ringer.
        ~ The chief cause of failure is trading what you want most for what you want now ~
        -----------------------------------
        Goal #1 - 7 days AF -

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          All I Want Is 30 Days AF

          Thanks for the advise Tons......it sounds doable. Glad to hear your HB is home and hopefully he has a full recovery.

          I've been fighting a cold all week so we ordered chinese food tonight......can't wait for the hot and sour soup and the season premier of Grey's Anatomy!

          Hope everyone is doing better tonight. I don't feel good enough to even think about having a drink!

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            All I Want Is 30 Days AF

            Hi guys,

            sorry for not checking in for some time. I have been good for most part, just blew it last night ... my hangover is just lifting ...

            I am working hard to find other ways to deal with stress and anxiety .. other than hitting the bottle and finding that instant release.

            So ... hiking it is, I am blessed to live at the foothill of a nice mountain. Then, I have my flowers ...
            But overall it is still a struggle ...

            Stay strong
            workaholic, shoeaholic and yes ... alcoholic

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              All I Want Is 30 Days AF

              shueaddict;1182296 wrote: Hi guys,


              I am working hard to find other ways to deal with stress and anxiety .. other than hitting the bottle and finding that instant release.
              I'm with you, shue. We'll figure it out. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm pulled in too many directions to be able to focus on myself, or what I need to do to beat this.

              I have a mini bottle of wine still in the fridge from last night--only had 3 of the 4--and know I will finish the 4th tonight. Or, maybe I won't. Regardless, I'm a little fuzzy, but nothing too bad. Lots of water and good food today.

              Stay in touch, please.
              "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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                All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                Shue and Juja - We need to hang in there ladies. I also had the little mini bottles of wine but I drank all 4 and felt like crap today. I never should have started on vacation because I haven't been able to get back on track since. I was watching a program this morning, which I watch every Sunday and this morning one of the things that was talked about was consequences of our actions and something hit me. I never ask myself about the consequences of drinking before I decide to do it. I made a decision today that I'm going to get in the habit of asking myself this about everything, including drinking, so I get in the habit....before I do it! So the consequences of taking the first drink are 1) I won't be able to stop at just one drink, 2) I'll feel like crap when I get up 3) I'll feel like crap for the better part of the day 4) I'll be upset and dissapointed with myself, 4) the empty fattening calories will get in the way of my fitness goals, 5) the same self-defeating cycle repeats itself. I'm so ready to get off of this freakin merry-go-round!

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                  All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                  Hi girls, I just posted in another thread about a book that Unwasted recommended in yet another thread. It's called Kick the Drink by Jason Vale. Not the best written book I've ever read, but he has some absolutely great common sense advice on how to view alcohol and the drinking life. I would highly recommend it for those of you still struggling with how to approach this. Once he goes through all the reasons that alcohol destroys not only us but millions and millions of others, you will most likely never want to drink again. And that is the key: you won't want to and you won't see yourself as depriving yourself of something that other people can enjoy. I downloaded it to my Kindle and was reading within minutes. Honestly - try it.
                  Good habits breed good habits; bad habits breed bad habits.

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                    All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                    I just ordered the book. I hope it gives me a light bulb moment.

                    Someone commented that they don't want to ever be altered again. I'm wondering if I don't like being altered--- different from my busy, OCD self, full of ruminating thoughts, and at loose ends. I know I should learn to meditate, but I can't sit still long enough. I'm always thinking of what I should be doing, which is ingrained from my upbring. I constantly hear my mother's voice in my head: " ____, don't you see the things that need to be done?!" I always see one more thing to do, and can't stop.

                    And the gerbil wheel spins...
                    "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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                      All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                      Hi Guys,
                      I hope you dont mind be butting in here, but I am back on day 1 and I plan to get to 30 and beyond....... I have just had enough of all the pain that I cause my family when I drink. Although I have been through alot lately and feel like I am all alone in this world but I know that having a drink will only make it worse. I am in a job that I dont really like but at least I am trying to put that right. I have a job inteview this Friday for a part time job so I can spend more time with my boys. I am also going on holiday this Saturday so I have that to look forward to. I am going to think about the positive things in my life instead of the bad and come to think of it I have more positive than bad in my life.
                      Well I have probably waffled on long enough, hope you all have a great day
                      ronnie xx
                      :dancin: enguin:
                      starting over

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                        All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                        Hi Ladies,

                        Just checking in after a much needed powernap. Ashamed to admit another wine fuelled weekend. I went out with friends on Fri night and offered to drive in order to resist temptation which was great until I got home at 11pm and dived straight into the wine!!

                        Shue - You're right about finding new activities to replace stressful moments. Good luck with the hiking. I'm going to chuck myself back into fitness and try and find those endorphins again!!

                        JuJa - I'm also going to get the book and hope some common sense finally prevails. I can't sit still for more than 2 mins either - I often think that drink is the only thing that slows my brain down and allows me a break from my hectic life!! Sad but true!!

                        Ronnie - Good luck with the job interview, enjoy your hols and stay with the positive thinking!

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                          All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                          Happy Monday, everyone!!!

                          Despite the Saturday blow out I am bursting with optimism today. Here are some reasons why I LOVE this Monday:

                          -I woke up before the alarm, feeling rested / not hung over
                          -I am looking forward to going to the office ? where I will find everything filed neatly filed and the week planned already ( result of last week being mostly AF)
                          -I no longer dread the school bus ? we got everything ready last night, in plenty of time, because I was not asleep on the coach at 8PM, having started drinking from noon

                          Love and strength to you all, here?s a pic from my last hike ? glacier lake called ?the kidney?, I also saw ?the heart, the eye? ? but no ?liver? ?yet

                          Attached files [img]/converted_files/1672930=6418-attachment.jpg[/img]
                          workaholic, shoeaholic and yes ... alcoholic

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                            All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                            WS ? very wise words!! Oh, the holiday has derailed me too, I should have been stronger and had the guts to tell my hubby I should not be drinking? at all. I still have to face up to that one? I am such a coward, still hope that I can deal with this on my own. I just told him that I need to cut down for a while to get my hormones in check. Coward all the way ?

                            Twink ? you said that your drinking habits are shifting, I can totally relate to that ? I just think it is the monster trying different tactics with us trying to catch us at a different moment. Get your fitness on, wondermom!!!

                            Juja ? the little bottles are still bottles, aren?t they ??? Recently, because of the workaholic schedule, I felt the need to stop and smell the roses and take better care of my house and family. So I cooked a lot and spent a few hours watching mindless TV ( House and Modern family) . It worked for a while. Until I tasted wine ?

                            Tons, I think I need to get a motivational book too. I still think somehow that all I need is just more willpower, well, that kind of power has to come from somewhere ?

                            Ron ? good luck with the job and kicking AL
                            workaholic, shoeaholic and yes ... alcoholic

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                              All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                              Oh, yes, shue, those little bottles are still bottles. I kid myself when I buy them, thinking I won't be drinking a whole bottle, just a couple of the little ones. What a joke.
                              Regardless of all that, I'm glad you're feeling good today.

                              Twink--Glad someone else understands me. AL helps me stop my crazy busyness.

                              ronnie--good luck with the job interview.
                              "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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                                All I Want Is 30 Days AF

                                Hello everyone,
                                Just a few warnings about the Jason Vale book: although he says there is no such thing as alcoholism and alcoholics, it is really just a semantic shift. He talks about "alcohol addicts" in the same way we refer to "alcoholics." Just don't let his vocabulary put you off. His overall message and his advice on how to view alcohol is sound. Also, he tends to think that everyone who drinks either has a problem or will have a problem eventually, and I've lived long enough to know that just isn't true. In other words, I didn't necessarily buy everything he said, but his overall view of how to live life without alcohol and without feeling as if you are being deprived of something that is toxic remains solid and probably will allow you to approach drinking differently.
                                Good habits breed good habits; bad habits breed bad habits.

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