All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS and Queenbug, it is very admirable that you are here, being honest and trying again! Please don't give up! I know that awful feeling the day after a bender, it really is a living hell. WS, hopefully you are feeling a little bit better tonight. Try to just focus on tomorrow and treat yourself well. You've done 10 days, you can do it again and then some. Queenbug, I don't think you need to apologize; we all certainly understand. Lord knows, I've been there countless times. And the emotions are even worse than the physical symptoms of a hangover.

I've had a helluva week or so, and I don't mean that in a good way. My son is not a whole lot better today and we still haven't gotten to the bottom of everything. But, the worst part is that I see a self-destructive, careless streak in him that reminds me of .... me. And that breaks my heart.

I'm very grateful to be here and to see all of you. My Day 12 is winding down, and I'm (once again) exhausted. I'll see you all soon!

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover - thanks for the support. I know things are hectic with everything going on with your Son right now but you should feel so good about where you are with the AL. How much L-Glut are you taking?

I'm going to pray for you and your Son tonight and I hope everything turns out okay. Hang in there!

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS and QB--You're not alone. I was ashamed to return because I failed last month after 11 days AF. But knowing how supportive and non-judgmental everyone here is, I decided it was best. I'm glad you two posted, and are willing to give it another go. I wish you the strength you need.

Clover--I'm sorry your worries aren't relieved. Is there anything we can do? Maybe someone here has experience with your son's condition, and can offer advice, if you wish to divulge his problem. Just a thought.

In the back of my mind I know I'm going to fail again. We're planning a trip to Maine in Sept., and all I can think about is lobster and chardonnay. How am I not going to drink? I can feel the "oh, it's okay" voice creeping up my spine, and into my brain, and the taste of the wine on my tongue. Maybe by September, I'll be past that. It could be that it won't occur to me to drink by then.


I'm bored to death, and can't think of a thing I want to do tonight. If I were buzzed, I'd be doing a thousand things at once. I always got a lot accomplished when I was drinking. AL made me manic. Oh, well. The laundry will get done, the kitchen cleaned, etc. Being bored tonight is better than feeling that awful shame in the morning.

Everyone have a good AF night.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja - Thanks for the support...I really appreciate it. Take it from me.....please try to put that stupid little voice out of your head! Maybe in between now and September we can think of something just as good to drink with the lobster. I know how you feel, trust me...it's what got me in trouble last night but everytime I fail at this effort, I feel worse and worse and I don't want anyone else to ever feel like that. One night of thinking that we are enjoying ourselves isn't worth the self-loathing and sickness that comes along the next day.

We can do this!

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

No one should feel badly about coming here to talk about a binge! That's what this site is all about. If people here only posted their success stories imagine how many people who relapse would never return. I admire both WineSucks and Queenbug for coming here and talking about their slips. It makes it okay for everyone else who's feeling weak or struggling to do the same. So thank you two!

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Thank you Clover, Winesucks, Juja and Flyaway...I was worried to say anything, and usually I just go away and hide when I've fallen again after my 2,3,or 4day attempts so I'm glad I didn't this time because I am just going to give it another go.
Clover, if it helps I have family who are in medical...if you want to message me happy to help in anyway I/we can..am sending you good thoughts and blessings..x

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning, everyone! It's Day 13 for me - yikes! Well, "lucky" day 11 was pretty lousy, so maybe "unlucky" 13 will be great. I wanted to thank all of you for the prayers and well wishes for my son. Lavande and Queenbug, I probably will send you each a message about him as soon as we get the results of the last blood test. He will probably be okay, but is facing a possible chronic and recurring condition, and he doesn't take very good care of himself on top of that. WS, it may very well be that my son's current dilemma is actually helping me not to drink. I'm actually afraid to be out of control now. And, during my last 2 bottle binge, I fell and hurt myself pretty badly. How humiliatin (and frightening) to wake up scraped and bruised .... and not even remember exactly what happened! YUCK!

I'm off to work; hope everyone has a terrific sober day!

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning! I think today is day 10 for me. Double digits! Still feeling great. I've really been sleeping well the last few nights. I haven't slept well for several months if not the last year. Feels good!

Clover I fell about a month ago in a drunken stupor and don't remember what happened. My husband was away at the time. I developed an enormous bruise on the front of my thigh and a smaller one (maybe slightly smaller than a baseball) on the side of my calf. I can remember falling in the house, but I can't remember where it was or what I fell on to get bruises in the two places they were. The bruises were so big that obviously my husband would see them so I made up some lie about how the cat tripped me and I fell on the stairs and hit the bannister all at the same time. :blush: Never again do I want to be ashamed of myself because of drinking. Never again do I want to lie to my husband because of my drinking. Never again do I want to black out and not remember things because of my drinking. I am done with it.

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover, you are doing really well, I know it?s absurd but your son?s current crisis might be a blessing in disguise; there is no other force like a mother?s love, this might be the force that saves you from AL.

Fly- As for falling and telling porky pies to already suspecting husbands ? Last year I got back in a state from my neighbor next door, forgot we have a porch step and fell straight flat . Forget scraping all limbs, I hit my chin on the hard stone and chipped a tooth too. Since then my chin is crooked. I later lied to my hubby that the dogs tripped me while playing. It sounded like a plausible story since we have a massive and playful black dog and so do the neighbors but somehow I don?t think he believed me. Did that teach me? No? I had to sink even lower. :bang

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Maine

Juja ? there is still time till Sep ? time to find some other drink that goes well with lobster ? I went to Maine 3 years ago, really loved the place ? was also the first time I saw 1.5 l wine bottles. If I were you I?d only go to those places where you eat lobster off the pier or on the beach, they do not have a license and drinkers need to bring their own bottle.

This also brings back a memory of just how insensitive I was then. We stayed with a dear friend and had wine each night (normal consumption) ? then she said that her sister was coming ( a recovering alcoholic and AA member) could we not drink in front of her. Ok, but the sister was in a foul mood, critiquing everyone - my friend whispered to me that she cannot take her sister anymore without some AL. So we kept creeping into the kitchen, hiding in the open fridge, swigging wine straight from the bottle and giggling like schoolgirls. Until the AA sister walked in on us, shouted ?BUSTED !!!? then kicked up a fuss that we do not respect her, that she expected a lot more understanding from her sister and ended up in tears.

I must admit that at the time I thought she was a nightmare and totally overreacted. Now, I am humbled. Poor woman, I had no idea what she was going through. Sadly, now I do.

[not tonight]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello all,
I have been away for a couple of days. Sort of snowed under with work, then when I get home it's loads of children and sleepovers etc. Summer is such a busy time.

Clover you and your son have been on my mind. I hope that your son's blood tests bring better news, and I will keep praying for you both. Well done on getting to day 13.

Today is day 11 for me. I have 2 challenges ahead of over the next week. Tomorrow we are going to diner with some old friends. Anytime I have been out with them and tried to abstain they have not made it easy, also I am so drained from this week. Then next week we are taking the children to a music festival in Dorset for 3 days. Actually I think getting through the music festival sober will be a breeze compared to tomorrow night. Oh well, must keep my eye on the prize.

I hope everyone is well, staying sober, and taking great care of themselves.

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello, Everyone! I've made it through Day 13 and, again, I'm just so damned tired. I sound like a broken record, but I just have not slept well the last couple of nights. I keep waking up at around 2 or 3 a.m. and then having trouble falling asleep again. I don't know if this is still part of my body adjusting to not drinking or if it's stress and anxiety over things. I'm going to have a nice dinner and then relax or maybe go for a walk. I hope everyone has a really good evening, and that everyone who is starting out on Day 1 or 2 checks in just to say "hey."

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hey Ladies.....Well, Day 2 for me and I didn't even think about having a drink today (probably because I'm still not over the night before last). Fly - I agree with your earlier comment about being able to come here and post after having a binge....that's what we are here for. Believe me, I hope noone ever feels as bad as I did yesterday.

Not Tonight....I have to tell you that every single time I was in a situation like the one you are going to, I ended up drinking...then, the whole crazy cycle started all over again. Maybe you could say you are taking medicine that doesn't mix with AL so you don't get so much pressure. I know how hard this will be for you....let us know how it went.

Clover, I'm still praying for your Son. One thing I've noticed is that the more stressed I am...I can't drink! It's strange - you would think the stress would have me running to the bottle but I'm afraid of not having control. So what this tells me is that we can do this if we really want to. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight...even if you are tired, at least you aren't hungover. You are doing amazing. In fact I think everyone here is doing amazing so let's keep up the good work. Day No. 3 for me tomorrow!

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Home from work at 10pm, exhausted, gotta get up at 5am. Day 10 down and onward to day 11.

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS, thank you for your prayers regarding my son; he sure needs them! There's a part of his situation that has been going on for nearly 2 years, and it certainly has sent me scurrying for the wine bottle on MANY occasions! I have attempted to drink away my stress and anxiety and the thing is it works - for a couple of hours. Then I pay the price for a couple of days, feeling physically sick and depressed beyond belief. Maybe part of the reason I'm not drinking in spite of what's going on with my son is because I'm facing the reality that he, too, has an addictive personality and I just hate that I passed this on to him. I didn't drink when my kids were little, so it's not like they grew up witnessing mama drunk ever. But if this thing is genetic, then I probably passed it to him. And now he's sick on top of that.

But ... on to another sober day for all of us! Hope to see you later, WS!!