All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[Turnagain]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

I know what you're saying about counting days, WineSucks. I think I'm giving up the daily count, too, although I'm looking forward to the milestones....30 days...3 months...6 months...1 year...5 years...10 years....and on and on.

I'm sticking close like glue to you and Clover and the others here in the nest who have decided "Never More."

I'm also dealing with stomach distress. The pains I've been feeling had a lot to do with my Never More decision. I hope I have not done permanent damage to myself. I can't get into a GI here for at least another month! Until then, I'm eating yogurt and mild bland foods, drinking A LOT of water and sticking close to the loo.

[Today]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

I DO NOT like Sundays to begin with. What is it about this day that drives me a little batty? I call it Sunday Psychosis and usually open a bottle of wine at around 2 o'clock and am loaded by evening. But not today! I am prone to anxiety and nervousness and yes, alcohol does calm me down. But the depression that hits me afterward is absolutely horrible! With everything that has been happening, I do feel somewhat anxious .... and sad .... but since I haven't been drinking, that black depression is gone! And Monday mornings are actually very nice! I hope you are all having a lovely, sober Sunday!
Thanks Clover and congrats! This is my first sober Sunday in who knows how long! I am anxious right now but am looking forward to getting back to work - the routine. Day 2 down and I feel okay about tomorrow night too (gulp, okay not stopping on the way home may not be easy) But I'll do it.

Hurrah to all of us here, we're trying finally and that feels so much better!

:goodjob:

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Everyone, I'm a 41 year old newbie from the UK who has battled with wine addiction for many years. WineSucks's testomony has made me realise I am not alone in my struggle and after seeing so many encouraging messages I know I need to finally deal with this problem which is dominating my life and making me miserable.

I've recently had some counselling which sadly hasn't helped - it's all very easy telling me I have a 'choice' whether to open that second bottle of wine at night - I know as I'm popping the cork I'm going to feel like crap tomorrow but the desire to get that Chardonnay down my neck asap always wins. I expect you know what I mean? I know she's only trying to help but I think it's very difficult to understand the full extent of addiction unless you've been there.

We tried to determine the reason for my alcohol abuse - I have a loving husband, 2 adorable children (8 & 11) and a great circle of friends. I had a stable, happy upbringing but my parents enjoyed their wine with their evening meal and as it was always readily available (and I was very sneaky) I quite simply got a taste for it, liked it's effect and it became a habbit. I was always the 'party girl' and thought I could control my habit - I now know it is controlling me!

I am sick and tired of thinking about it all the time and trying to function in one huge haze. I drag myself through the day with a smile on my face but my friends in the playground haven't got a clue about how desperate and tired I'm feeling on the inside. I've started to get a tingling sensation in my fingers and am worried my excessive drinking has damaged my nerve endings. Even my husband (who may as well be T Total) doesn't realise the extent of my habbit as I'm forever scheming and being deceitful about my habbit. On the occassion he's mentioned it, I get all defensive and bite his head off so I think it's easier for him to just cast a blind eye.

Anyway, today is Day 1 AF for me - I've read My Way Out and am thinking of buying the CD's. Has anyone else found these helpful? Are you guys following the program (or any aspect of it) or using will power one day at a time? Has anyone used Topamax or Campral? Topamax is not available in the UK but I have a 30 day supply of Campral which I'm going to try- has anyone used this before?

You're all a great source of encouragement and I really hope we all suceed in our mission because Wine really does SUCK!! Stay positive:new: xx

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Happy AF Monday everyone,

Sorry for not checking in ? I was away on business last week ? tasted wine for the first time in weeks (my boss?s vintage ? had no excuse ready to say no to that one) and thankfully that did not send me spiraling like crazy. I sipped a little , spilled most of it in his office plants (felt like Mr. Bean again, hiding his steak tartare). Honestly I was so terrified of what this would do to me that I cannot remember even tasting the wine.

This weekend however I got hit with the lethargy from hell ? ZERO energy + slight nausea, lack of appetite and overall out of sorts. I have been coach bound and not much use to anyone. Is this detox / blood sugar levels our of controls / stress ? Probably all, but it sure beats a hangover.

Dear Winesucks, my initial inspiration I realize today I celebrate 1 month of being in this forum. Thank you for your candid words that got me here. And boy did I learn a lot in the past month, about AL and mostly about myself. No more counting days too , but I must admit that I found that really helpful in the beginning ? when I really felt like it was one day at a time and I was conquering something.

Clover ? you made it !!! 30 days through the biggest challenges that I can think of ? children? s sickness and heartbreak. Your determination amazes me.

SJ ? Rhodiola is quite powerful ? I took it in the past when dieting / exercising like crazy. I never did drugs but the effect on me was a week of being high and happy and saying yes to everything (including getting a mastiff puppy, consequences of which I still bear)

Qbug ? awesome news about your daughter but also about yourself, keeping AF. Whatever happened on that date? Did I miss anything?

Scottish Lass ? you crack me up ? you need to join forces with my stingy Dutch friend who is trying to get her hubby off the juice by pointing out to him just how expensive it all is. She is also one of those people who do not understand the cravings we get ? I?ve tried explaining to her so that she?s easier on her hubby.

Twinckle ? I feel for you, I have everything I could possibly want and a lot more, yet my love for wine and the deviousness in trying to hide it puts it all in danger . I too felt tingling in my fingers over the weekend, together with a lot of nasty sugar lows. The amazing thing for me was once I started opening up about not wanting to drink I found a lot of support ? from my friends and family. I openly admitted that I am an alcoholic only to my holistic doctor that knows me for years. I would love to join AA but sadly - no opportunities here. Stay with us, there is no 100% proven method other than trying over and over again until you find what works for you. Whatever you?ve been through or done while drunk, chances are somebody else in here has experienced too ? that much I can promise you

[Queenbug]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Shue...sorry this is quick..no internet at home so doing this at a friends..date went well..lots of good stuff to think about..
...catch you soon..
xx

[SarahJane]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Day 17 & doing great. Will also stop counting after 30 days- maybe a little peep occasionally!
Welcome Twinkle- you will find many women/mothers here with similar stories. Mine wasn't alot different. You will get lots of support here, keep coming everyday & checking in. I have no experience with any meds but use lots of supplements to help. I have the CD's & find them useful, also the Ailsa Frank CD I like as well. But this forum has been the biggest help to me. I had several Day 1's to start with & now feel confident that I wont drink again. I actually don't want a drink- I was a real party girl & was drinking wine most nights at home. I have 4 kids between 10-17, stopping drinking is the single best thing I have ever done.
Bed time now. Catch you all tomorrow.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hey Everyone....boy I am so happy to see so much activity on the thread today. I'm so bad at remembering who posted so if I leave someone out forgive me.......

Turn - I'm so happy you are here with us. As you can probably see, we have been a great support to each other. I'm worried about my stomach too and like you, I'm hoping I haven't done some serious damage. I'm trying not to be upset about it but I am a little down. I thought I would feel soooo much better after I stopped drinking and physically, that just hasn't been the case.

Today....I would always get restless on Sunday's too. At one point, Sunday used to be my big drinking night....martinis and wine with the girls and Desparate Housewives.....I can't tell you how many Mondays were spent hung the hell over and trying to make it through the work day....dragging along my 64 ounces of Gatorade...I'm so glad I stopped doing that. It was embarassing when my boss started laughing about it.

Twinkle - Welcome and Congrats on Day 1. I was in the same situation last year...I would leave the counselor's office and go straight to the liquor store! How insane is that??? But....eventually, I got to where I am now. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So sick of thinking about drinking ALL the time!!! I love wine but honestly, not so much anymore. The fact that you are here and already having those fealings says that you are ready to start tackling this. It's a process so don't get frustrated. L-Glut helped me more than I can tell you. Especially in the first 2 weeks. There are others on here that really speak highly of the CDs. Posting daily has helped me because it holds me accountable (but never feel bad if you slip...keep posting).

Queen - Always glad to hear from you.....catch us up when you can.

SJ - Congrats on Day 17!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to finish dinner.......good going ladies - we can do this!

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hello, Ladies! It really is good to see so many of us joining in here.

It's always good to have the first day back at work over with, but at least I wasn't hung over today. Mondays were a big hangover day for me, too. Where I work, there is an outdoor bathroom as well as the one inside. Many a day, I'd have to dash outside to barf in the outside toilet so that my co-workers couldn't hear me heaving! How perfectly dreadful to put myself through that self-imposed sickness.

WS, I can't say that I'm feeling physically terrific either. My tummy's fine, but I have had lots of mild headaches and fatigue. Some of might be stress ... and the lousy heat where I am. But I also MUST start to exercise again, at least 5 days a week. I'm not being a very good girl in that respect.

I wish all of you ladies a wonderful, sober Monday evening!

[Turnagain]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Over another hurdle...but it wasn't THAT hard since I made the decision not to drink ever again...No Matter What. Tonight, we celebrated my b-day and I told hubby to keep the 'special' Malbec in the basement for a future dinner party (where I'll serve, but not sip.)

It really is a relief not to have to listen to the VOICE try to debate or rationalize. Whether it whispers or shouts, all I have to do is say..."I don't drink."

My daughter came up to visit and I told her about my decision. She is thrilled and supportive. Husband isn't so sure that this is a permanent thing. He's happy for me, but I think he wants his drinking partner back.

Got in with a gut doctor tomorrow by asking to be put on the cancellation fill in list. I hope to get to the bottom of the extreme gastric distress that's been plaguing me. IF I did do damage to myself by drinking, at least I'll know and be able to take steps to fixing it. One thing is certain...I won't be doing anymore damage!

Good night all....and thanks for all you have done to give me and so many courage to quit.

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Ladies - thank you so much for your words of encouragement and inspiration. You really are having a remarkable journey together which gives me so much hope for the future. 1 Day AF!!

Shueaddict - You're so right - I think I'm just starting to realise that everyone is different and what works for one may not follow for the next. I now accept that noone is going to wave a magic wand and make my problem go away so I must take positive action and with you guys around for support I reckon I might finally have a chance. Hope your fingers have stopped tingling - mine haven't but it's early days.

It's pathetic but I'm worried how my friends will react if I say 'no thanks' to wine - I've always been the life and soul and I know they'll think I've had a personality transplant!! They only see the wine I drink out with them and not the bottle I dive on the minute I get home!!

Sarah Jane - You are doing so well for you and your family and are truely an inspiration to me. I drink the most wine alone in my office with only my PC for company - how sad is that when I have a loving husband downstairs asking for my company!! I am going to tell myself everyday that quitting drinking is the best thing I can do for my family. What sort of supps would you recommend? Amazingly enough, I am pretty fit as I do drag myself to the gym (albeit hungover) to try and make myself feel human again - even if it is for a couple of hours until my habitual cycle begins again.

WineSucks - Hope you tum is feeling better? After hanging around in the shadows for a while, your journey has finally given me the courage to post. I really am sick and tired of thinking about alcohol for the best part of the day - do these thoughts ever pass? I'm determined with all the support here to break this cycle that has dragged me down for all my adult life. Is the L Glut something I can get hold of easily? I thought about getting some of the Nutritech ALL ONE supp powder (mentioned in the book) shipped to the UK - I am just Sooo desperate to try anything which will keep the dreaded cravings at bay and then I can assess what works for me.

Anyway, stay safe and sober ladies - Day 1 AF down, onwards and upwards!!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

These messages have been an inspiration to me, too. I've tried many times before to quit but tried completely on my own, which I know now was my mistake. I thought I was the only one who debated and rationalized with myself, turnagain! I went out last Thursday to a local sports bar with my daughter, her boyfriend, and my husband. I had only been AF for a couple of days, but it was such a relief not to have to figure out on the way there if I was going to drink, how much I was going to drink and if I had the courage to ask my husband to stop by the local liquor store on the way home to pick up the bottle I knew I'd need if I had a couple of glasses of wine at the bar. Ended up ordering water and not having to worry about all of that! Also, the relief on my daughter's face was obvious; she has worried about my drinking for some time now and rarely drinks herself, which for 23 in this day and age is amazing! Anyway, thanks for the honest sharing here.

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi everybody. I just haven't felt like getting online much the past week or so, but I'm still going strong and everything is fine. Day 29 today. My husband and I are supposed to go out of town next weekend for a mini-family reunion for DH's family. Just his siblings and when they get together there will definitely be drinking going on. I'm not that worried, but know that it'll be something I'm questioned and badgered about. Not by my husband but by his brothers. :sighbubble:

I too don't really pay attention to what day AF it is. I'll figure it out every few days, but the focus on the day began to feel cumbersome and made it all that much more evident that there was no end in sight. I just need to accept that I don't drink alcohol. As far as those of you having stomach issues, a few years ago I was having pretty bad stomach issues myself. I ended up having an endoscopy and a stomach biopsy done. I had gastritis and H. Pylori. My stomach was red and inflamed. I had to take antibiotics to kill the H. Pylori and take antacids for a couple months until my stomach healed. It took a while.

Turnagain--Fantastic job on staying sober during your party! Every time you say no it makes you stronger. It's great that your daughter is supportive and proud. You need a support system like that. I'm glad that you got in with the GI doctor so soon.

Today--Congrats on getting through Sunday! How are you doing today?

Twinkle Girl--So glad you joined us! The problem with many counselors IMO is that they focus on the "why" and not the "how." I think it's interesting to figure out why we are the way we are, but what does that change? What I want to know is how do I change? It's great that you've read the MWO book. I have not taken prescription meds. I did find that L-Glutamine supplements helped me a lot with cravings. I took 1000mg 3-4 times a day.

Shue--I'm so happy to see that you're still here and going strong. And I'm also happy to hear that the sip of wine didn't cause you to want more. Way to go!

Queen--How are you doing? You need to get your internet fixed because I want to hear about your date! :H

SJ--You're doing so well! I didn't realize you had 4 kids!

WS--I may have missed it, but do you have an appointment with a doctor about your stomach? If it's something like I had, it won't get better on it's own.

Clover--Wow, your story about work really struck a chord with me. Things like that are what we need to remember when alcohol starts talking to us and telling us how good it would taste. It's so easy to forget.

[FlyAway]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Tonstantweader--Well done! Alcohol affects a lot more people than just ourselves.

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Twinkle, I too worried about what my friends would think. I was always the one bringing champagne on camping trips (and ingenious contraptions to keep it chilled), my bbq?s always had great white or rosE. The biggest surprise was the fact that my closest friends did not bat an eyelid when I told them I am not drinking (ok, one asked me if I?m pregnant). Contrary to popular belief, there are still people out there that don?t drink, and they are considered normal, still ? Count you precious AF days and add to them.

[shueaddict]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS, Fly and Twinkle ? I would love to try counseling of some sort ? but it?s hard to find here. It is funny how you all said it did not work for you and I can really see why it could have the adverse effect. Still, WHY we drink is a good question, being aware of our triggers and what drives us to the bottle, but simply knowing why sure is not enough to stop us. MWO offer the HOW.

I have tried hypnosis CD?s (Wendi Friesens?) but the ?you have the choice? message only worked when I was not drinking quite so much and it really helped me moderate for 2 extended periods. The third time I tried it was too late, I was hooked.