All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja - way to go girl!! What an awesome achievement, you're a shining example to all of us.

Beautiful - Stay close and don't worry about day one - the fact you're here again shows you're serious about showing the bottle just who's boss. Just take it one day at a time and post as often as you need - support is never far away.

Allybee - Welcome on board. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't imagine going for more than a couple of nights without wine - I kidded myself that it helped me relax after a busy day but deep down I knew it had become a habbit that I could no longer control (even though I did a pretty good job at hiding it from everyone). I'd feel so grotty in the morning and literally struggle through the day only to repeat the same cycle. Then I found this site and realised I was not alone - it has been a Godsend for me, the support here is amazing and although it's still early days for me (9 days AF now) I've never dreamt I could do it and it is getting easier. We can do this together - just concentrate on clocking up a few AF days and you'll feel so much better.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Evening Ladies
What a day! I am exhausted and tomorrow will be even more challenging. I'm so happy to see that everyone is doing well.

Alley and Beautiful.....I know the thought of going 30 days can seem scary, especially with respect to falling down and not making the goal. If I could give one bit of advice, it would be to keep posting even if you have gone off the wagon. It was reallly hard for me to do but it really made a big difference in being able to get up and keep going.

It's 8:45 and I still haven't had dinner, so I'm going to eat and relax. I hope everyone has a great night. Clover and Juja.....so happy for you guys that you have passed 30 days....remarkable!

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

tonstantweader, great idea about the visualization!

beautifullife, thank you for the welcome and I'm glad you're back. Like WineSucks advised, I can see that posting even (maybe especially!) after a slip is important. Reading through the earlier posts in the thread, its clear how valuable the support is.

Twinkle, 9 days!! That's wonderful. It must be such a good feeling to be working free of that cycle.

I'm concentrating on just the day at hand (day 2!) and trying to think of feeling good in the morning as my reward, rather than the wine.

Thank you all again (I hope I haven't missed anyone!) for making me feel at home here

[cailinog74]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

So true

Wine Sucks ! What a great name.

This is exactly how I feel. Upto two years ago, I couldn't stand wine. Now it is at least 1 if not 2 bottles a night. Loads of weight put on because my diet goes out the door when I drink. Housework is suffering. Cranky with kids and partner. The damned witching hour - I thought I was the only one who felt like this.

Thank you for making me believe I can quit.

:new:

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good morning Ladies

Wine- That is good advice to post even if we have fallen off the wagon. I did fall off yesterday, last night and woke up really early (like I normally do when I've had wine) ashamed and hating myself, again. I hate wine, or I guess I hate myself with wine. What was your "A-ha" moment last month that finally did it for you? **Congratulations, also, to your 30 days tomorrow!** Every time I feel like I have one of those moments.. it may start in the morning and even last a couple days, BUT then I start thinking "you're ok, you're normal and can have a drink... it will be fine" and (as we know) it all goes to hell. I wish I could drink normally, what the heck is wrong with me that I cannot!!.. THAT thought makes me upset also! I just want 30 days AF!!
I read on a different thread this morning that when the thought of drinking comes up, stop and say.. I don't drink. I like that and am going to give it a try. My little girl climbs into bed with me each night, and last night I looked at her-- how beautiful and sweet she is-- and hope that she will never have to fight this demon in her life beyond witnessing her Mother. Wine, you did say it brilliantly to post even if we have fallen off, because I feel better and will stop my own victim. I am starting this new day, standing tall and starting over... Cheers to day 1. Best to you, Wine!

Ally- How are you? I hope well. Best to you!

Clover, Juja, Twinkle, Tons- Best to you all also!

Have a beautiful day ladies and I will check back, soon and often!!

[SarahJane]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Lovely Ladies,
Welcome Allybee & Cailinog. Yes there are lots of us with similar problems - but as WS says stay very close here & you will be amazed at what some like minded support can do. I will be Day 30 on Saturday- I had lots of Day 1's over the last couple of months. But something just clicked about 3 weeks ago & I am confident that I wont drink any time soon. I hardly think about it now- it was all I thought about in the past- well from about 5pm anyway. It took up so much time & energy, and the hangovers were such a waste of a otherwise great life. Now I am training for my first marathon in December- could never have done that when I was drinking. And now I am working on shifting my excess 20 pounds so I wont wobble so much when I run!

Twinkle I had a lovely night out on Saturday at my neighbors house. They all had plenty to drink but I was quite comfortable with my fizzy water- I asked for it in a wine glass & it didn't look too different from their white wine. As it turned out I had to go out at 12.15 to collect 6 x 15yr olds from a disco, then at 1.15am my 17 yr old needed a lift home as well. We had to give his friend a lift as well as he was so drunk he couldn't stand or talk- I had to stop for him to be sick out of the door. It was a very sobering experience for my son & I- he was upset that AL can have such an effect.
I went back to the dinner party at 2.15am as my hubby was still there & joined in the chat until 3am & went off to bed, got up at 8am & went for a fabulous 7 mile run in the sunshine while my son was at training.
Why did I ever drink? I used to think I would be missing out on so much if I stopped. Now I can see there is so much to gain by not drinking. I have my own visualisation about AL whenever I think about having any wine. It isn't a pretty site but it works. -
I think of myself leaning over the bathroom sink being violently sick, lumpy red wine vomit all over my lovely white bathroom. I struggle to clean it all up & collapse into bed. When I wake in the morning feeling like I am dying & go to use the bathroom I see bits of vomit everywhere while I struggle to remember what happened.
That is what happened 18 months ago at a dinner party on New Yrs Eve next door (same house I was in on Sat night). I drank far too much as I was having 'such a good time'. I don't remember anything after midnight- we were there until 3am. My husband says I was frightening! I tried to stop drinking the next day but didn't last a week. Thank God for MWO.

Hope you are all doing great. Catch up soon.

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi Ladies, another day down and feeling more positive and less cranky by the day - I think the supps and L Glut are helping but the support here has been my main motivator.

Beautiful - Don't worry, we've all been there! It's the grotty after effects of the wine that's dragging you down. It's a powerful drug and depressant - I used it as a 'pick me up' every night only to feel similar emotions to you the following morning. I now try to spend a few moments each morning savouring how great it is to feel alive and headache free. I've been living in a fog for so long I'd forgotton how good it felt and a little exercise definately gets your 'happy hormones' going. Look at your lovely family - you CAN do it. We're all here for you.

SJ - I'm so pleased you had a good Sat night and hope your taxi services were appreciated by the youngsters! I can totally relate to your visualisation and mine's equally as pretty!! I used to think I'd be missing out if I didn't drink but I'm starting to see the light. There's nothing elegant about wondering where ugly black bruises came from - my DH said he used to watch me bounce off the hall walls on my way to bed - how attractive!!

Talking of which, he's just walked through the door so better shoot - love to you all. Keep up the good work.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Evening Ladies......
Cailinog - Welcome! As you can see, you aren't alone....that damned wine! I never liked it eaither so not sure how I fell into the trap.
Beautiful - Honestly, I don't know what clicked this last time, something just did. I think I just got sick and tired of "doing the dance". I think it was the last time I fell off the wagon and I missed a day of work and ended up in bed all day. I felt soooo sick, I just wanted to die. I sat there and cried and of course I posted on here, which made me cry more. I decided that I love myself more than I love the wine and I can't keep doing this to myself. Something had to give. It hasn't been an easy month but at least I haven't been hating myself.

SJ - Your visualization is enought to make me never want to drink. What I can't believe is that I've had nights like that and swore of AL, only to forget how awful I felt and start the whole stupid cycle over again.

Okay, not to ramble but tomorrow will be 30 days for me. I thought about moderating but I'm scared, so I think I'll just keep going AF and see how it goes. I've heard that once you start again, the episodes can get worse! I honestly am just starting to feel better. I guess I've lost about 4 lbs. but I haven't had enought energy to really start working out the way I thought I would. I'm looking forward to having the energy to do that because I think I'll see changes in my body. The other scary thing is that I still get urges to drink, although they aren't as strong as they used to be. I hate that! We are going on vacation and we ususally sip wine and watch the sun set and honestly, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel.


Thanks for listening to me bable......honestly, you guys are like my little extended family and I don't know what I would do without you. BTW....where the heck is Queen?????????

[Enough!]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hey WS!
Congrats on your 30 days! I slipped up while on vacation so am working on around 30 of 38 AF days since I started this crazy journey. I tried to have just 1 or 2 and that quickly turned into a bottle so moderation is real tricky.

Best of luck!
Enough!

[Enough!]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

SJ... I will also think of the super attractive red wine vomit chunks... When ever temptation stirs!

Enough

have a awesome night!

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

WS, since it looks like you'll definitely make it to 30 days, I'd like to say congratulations! And thank you so much for starting this thread! I like the Newbies Nest, too, but this place has just felt like "home" since I came here. It certainly took me several "Day 1's" until something finally clicked and I finally passed the 30 day mark not too long ago. I don't intend to try moderating because ... I don't really want to drink in moderation. When I drink, it is with the intention of getting loaded, and I just cannot take doing that anymore. Besides, I really love not drinking! It hasn't magically made my life perfect and wonderful - far from it! And I've only lost about 4 pounds, too. My energy is still pretty low and I haven't really gotten back into exercise as much as I need to. And I have moments of feeling very low. But that's because I'm facing life's challenges without my senses dulled or obliterated. And it's just better that way for me.

Ladies, I hope you all have a lovely, sober "hump" night!

It's good to see so many gals coming back and more arriving!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi winesucks, and let me add my congratulations. I have 15 more days to go until I celebrate (soberly) my 30th. You have been a big help to me in my journey, so thank you for that.

[beautifullife]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good evening Ladies

I am posting, even though I have fallen again. I honestly thought I had it down/done today with being AF, and then it came... the wine called and I caved. I think my ridiculous reasoning for this "wine BS" is that we are having a party on Saturday and wine, cocktails, etc. are going to be served. It (wine) is in my fridge outside just calling to me, saying..."after Saturday you can stop...just wait and after Saturday.." It is TOTAL BS!!! What the heck is wrong with my head that I honestly think "after Saturday" I will stop if I can't do it NOW! It's disgraceful! Earlier I drank 1/2 a bottle and had enough sense to pour the rest of it out...ONLY to open another bottle a little while later and finish it! I mean am I kidding myself!! That is just shameful and disgusting! I am at least sober (enough) right now to be trying to look at myself from a third party point of view.
Wine- Congratulations to you, again, because you are now into your 30 days AF (you are East coast right?)... And thank you for responding back to my question, it does help me.

My husband just got home, so I have to run! Good night Lovely Ladies and talk to you in the morning!

Best wishes and regards,
Beautifullife

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Congratulations on 30 days, WS!

These first few days haven't been too difficult, but that's been my pattern: wake up Monday morning feeling sick and mad at myself, manage not to drink for a day or two, then, as the week wears on, I start to crave the glass(es!) of wine. So, the true test is coming up -- my first weekend AF since...I don't know...ages!

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Oh beautiful, you have my support and understanding. I don't feel like I'm anyone to give advice, but from what I've read here, many people have had several "day 1s". Just don't give up and come here for support. We all know what a struggle it is. Take care and be kind to yourself.