All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Evening Ladies and glad everyone seems to be doing well. The cravings I experienced during the first week AF are definitely subsiding but just when I thought 30 days AF (and beyond!) was in sight a potential problem has arisen which is causing me concern and any advice would be gratefully received.

Bank hol here in the UK this weekend and 3 socials have sprung up on Sun & Mon. 1. Alcoholic ex next door neighbour's birthday bash which will be very messy - 2. BBQ with our usual crowd who all enjoy a beer and will inevitable ask questions and 3. 'Wine & nibbles' afternoon/evening bank hol Mon with a different circle of friends who will be equally curious about my AF status - Shit, how am I going to deal with this little lot? - I'm almost praying for rain so one or more 'do' may be cancelled (how awful is that of me!). I declined a social this Tues as I felt I needed more AF time under my belt but I'm damned if I'm going to become a hermit (it's really not in my nature) so I need a plan and fast!! This will be the ultimate test but I've come so far and don't want to blow it and let myself or you guys down - I know you'll be supportive whatever, but if I tell myself I'd be letting you down it makes me more determined not to give into temptation. Anyway, we'll give it our best shot. Sold our house today and good news such as this would usually be an excuse for a major celebration with copious amounts of bubbly on my part - I feel a bit cheated that I'm sat here with a glass of fruit juice instead but that's life!!! Sorry to ramble - I need to go and formulate a plan for the weekend. Hang on in there lovely ladies, you're all doing great xx

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Allybee, I'm with Caili, if it works for you to put off that voice go with it. I'm still doing ok, but have had some strong cravings and that little voice this week that says, "Oh come on, you can go out to dinner and have just one glass of wine." I have to keep telling it "yeah, right," and try to distract myself.
Caili, I think we are all so proud of you. I know I am. Here you are, many days in and still going strong!
Twinkle, You are right that you need a plan, especially about what to say when asked what you want to drink and the inevitable questions about why you are not drinking. Was it someone here who said she had problems with her colon when she drank and when told one glass wouldn't hurt said "it's not your colon." I think that is a great response! Unfortunately, your long term solution may be to cut down socializing with heavy drinking friends. Eventually all heavy drinkers either slow down or die. I spent a couple of recent events with people who all used to be heavy drinkers, but now that we're all old, most of them hardly drank at all.
wish I had more advice to give you.

[Twinkle Girl]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Evening Ladies, just a quickie as just got caught in a heavy rainstorm and am dripping all over my PC!
I went to my friend's house who offered me wine - I politely declined saying I'd set myself a little challenge not to drink AL for a month and with almost 3 weeks down wanted to see it through. She said 'aren't you good' put the wine away (cos she didn't want to drink in front of me) and we shared a carton of cranberry juice!!

Tonst - Your advice is always good advice. You are so right about readjusting our mindset to that of a non drinker. If I had a pound for each hour spent rationalizing and negotiating with myself only to end up in the same miserable predicament, I'd be a very wealthy women.. I'm finding it really liberating that I've finally found the strength to confront my AL issues after so long. A month ago, I would have been adamant I couldn't do it. You're into your 4th week now, that's an amazing achievement, do you have a plan for the future or is it a case of one day at a time? Either way, you have proved you CAN do it!! I like the it's not your colon' response and will keep that up my sleeve for future ref - I'm determined to stay AF this weekend and if people are uncomfortable with that then it's their problem NOT mine!!
Beaut L, Ally, Caili - How are you doing lovely ladies? Weekends are tough times but hang on in there, I promise it does get easier.
Hi to everyone else, hope you're all in good spirits and looking forward to a sober weekend.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hey everyone....sorry I've been a little MIA.....Earthquake, Hurricane coming so I've been a little busy. We have been asked to evacuate and I'm not sure what we are going to do yet.

Okay so here is what happened to me......made my 30 days AF and hadn't decided about moderating or abstaining. So the little voice got to me...you know, the one that says I just need a glass to unwind from all of this stress and you guessed it.....down went the whole darn bottle plus another glass on top of that. I felt like crap and it seriously scared me. This tells me that moderation is not possible for me and I need to abstain. Am I upset, a little but at least the question has been answered for me. So back on the wagon with the rest of you lovely ladies.

Everyone looks like they are doing so well.....I'll keep you posted on my situation, as far as the weather goes.

[allybee]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

I can imagine with the stress of the impending hurricane, that little voice would become very insistent!! Stay safe, WS!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Twinkle - What a great result of your meeting with your friend. She sounds like a good friend to put the wine away and get the cranberry juice out. I think you had a great response, too. People don't have the right to know all of your reasons - or any reasons - you are not drinking, but saying something like "I'm challenging myself not to drink for so many days" is a great response.
WS - I am far enough west that the the hurricane won't really affect me (except for all the evacuees who may end up out here!) but my sister is on Kent Island and isn't planning to leave until 10:30 tomorrow morning. I think she's nuts. I have really had to battle the cravings this week. I know that if one person had invited me out to a bar or if my husband had said let's go out to dinner, I would have caved. Luckily everyone at work is too busy or exhausted and my husband is sick.

Anyway, WS, perhaps it is just as important to try and fail and then know your limitations than to continue to debate with yourself about moderating. You did the right thing by coming back here and getting back on track. As someone once said here, it's a process and sometimes it's messy. Sending you a hug.


Yes, I really said that I am glad my husband is sick!

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Hi, all you lovely people,

As many of you know, I blew it big time last night, but I'm back on track. It is a fresh Friday, and I knew it would be. No problem whatsoever, as long as I have my peeps with me.:l

For those just arriving at this site: it's important to stay close. Had I checked in daily, posted, and kept what everyone said in mind, I probably wouldn't have circled the drain last night.:upset:

Like, Shue, we're going on vacation, and I'm a bit worried about the voice that says, "You're on vacation, what's a little wine?" No, no, no. I'll have to have a firm talk with that voice. We're to leave for New England on Friday, and then to Boston, Brimfield, MA for the antique fair, and up to Acadia National Park in ME. I hope Irene doesn't quash our plans, but more importantly, I hope all will be well for the folks in the I-95 corridor. We will probably see many DC and MD evacuees this weekend in the part of VA where we are.

So, everyone have your own "emergency" plan for AL this weekend, and stock up on needed supplies: club soda, seltzer, juice, and calming teas! That's important for us always.

I'm going to change my avatar, too, so don't lose me.

Tuckage, as the Aussies say. :lipstick::lipstick::lipstick::lipstick:

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja,
Funny, I am thinking of changing my avatar too. Winnie the Pooh is really NOT who I am. Perhaps your slip up is what you need as a reminder of why you can't drink on your vacation. think about how much better you will enjoy everything when you aren't consumed with wondering when you can start drinking and then waking up foggy and hazy in the morning. and I've been to Maine, it is worth seeing sober!
I agree with you about coming to this site every day. Even though I am headed into a busy, busy time, coming here reminds me of why I am doing this and how important it is.
Sounds as if, like me, you are far enough west to avoid Irene. We have a little cloudiness now but don't expect much in terms of wind and rain. Stay safe!

[Juja]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

[QUOTE=tonstantweader;1169543]Juja,
Funny, I am thinking of changing my avatar too. Winnie the Pooh is really NOT who I am. QUOTE]

Tons,

I needed a change from the holding hands avatar. I was feeling despondent, hopeless and heavy when I chose it, and wanted to go with something more a little more me--fun (at times), a wise-ass, and hopefully, a little lighter. I'll be curious to see what you choose.... :l

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Juja,
Ok, here it is: my new avatar. Dorothy Parker with her head in her hands. She first coined the phrase "tonstant weader," so she is really more appropriate than W the P.

[bear73]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

hey all I am back after my god knows how many attempt to be af and moderate - i can't moderate- like you it is mostly wine - anything between 2 glasses to a bottle few times a week - used to be a lot more when social life was more pub based.It's the wanting to drink - really craving the feeling/finding it really hard to stop.

i am depressed - 45 pounds overweight - despite exercising and calorie counting(until I get pissed and eat junk or am hungover then eat junk) and it has kept me trapped in a vicious circle for so long- house also a mess/undecorated/could be cleaner/tidier.
I also boredom/comfort eat - i drink to feel happier/calmer/more sociable - sadly it causes the problems it temporarily relieves.

day 1 here - time to focus on each day for me - glad to have found you all, will be back daily.

[WineSucks]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Ladies.....I LOVE the new Avatars!!!! Sometimes change is good. Bear, welcome....this is a great group. I went to the gym this morning to do Body Pump, despite trying to prepare for Irene. I live on the Western Shore of the Chesapeake Bay and can see the bay from my home. We are preparing to go w/o electric for a couple of days but I don't think we are going to evacuate. I'm going to hop in the shower soon, before the power goes out. This is a time when I would normally be drinking "hurricane party" with the rest of my neighbors, so hopefully, I can abstain from those activities. I need to be clear headed.
Hope everyone has a great day!

[Clover]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Good Morning, Ladies!

Tonstant, I adore Dorothy Parker. This was always one of my favorite quotes:
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host."
And that about sums it up for me, too! Although even back in the days when I liked martinis, 2 were certainly not enough! It's good to see you coming here every day. I need to remember to check in A LOT in order to "keep my quit."

WS and Juja, it's funny how my triggers generally happen when things are going really badly or really well. I either want to drown my sorrows or celebrate something. I'm not even sure what's keeping me from drinking because I've sure as hell felt like it! At a little over a month, I was feeling awfully depressed and down, which surprised me. I just want my life to turn around for the better so badly now and I know that won't happen if I drink. Hang in there, gals, I'll bet you're both having many more sober days than drunk ones now!

I grew up in New Jersey and still have relatives there. I hope my little home state fares well during the storm. And I hope everyone has a nice, sober weekend!

[tonstantweader]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Clover, Yes that's a great witticism from DP. I chose this picture of her because every time I look at it, it reminds me of what I _don't_ want to become! And poor old Dorothy ended up a bitter, lonely, old boozer whose ashes remained in her lawyer's file cabinet for years. Poor old girl.

[SarahJane]

All I Want Is 30 Days AF

Love the avatars! Might change mine soon as I have changed since I started here.
Hope you are all safe in the hurricane.

WS you will have to find a new mission. You passed your 'all I want is 30 days'- what do you want now? I have been thinking about that lately. I used to think I just wanted to be able to drink on special occasions. But I know that is not going to happen. I would be just like you WS & 1 glass would lead to 1 bottle= feeling crap, guilty & having to start over.
I have found this week tough being AF. It will probably happen periodically & I will just have to move through it. I felt great this morning after my 9 mile run but am feeling flat again now. Think it is hormones, they have been up & down since my miscarriage 3 months ago. Am also struggling a bit to connect with my husband. In the past we would have shared a bottle of wine on the weekends & had a good chat. That isn't happening now. I need to try to communicate more with him but I am finding it so hard. We are struggling a bit financially at the moment and he is very bitter about that.
Enough of my moaning!

Clover I love that quote!
Stay strong & safe everyone. We are all on this adventure together no matter what day we are on. I wouldn't have gotten past day 2 without the support here.