All I Want Is 30 Days AF
Hi everyone,
I haven't caught up with all of the postings, but I hope to be able to post more now that my life has returned to a semblance of normal. I have to confess to two relatively minor slips during my saga with my sick husband. One day I had to come home to get some things from here and run some errands and found myself home alone at night on a Saturday. I convinced myself that I had had such a bad week, given my husband almost dying and all, that I deserved some wine. I bought some, drank a few glasses, felt so bad I went to bed at nine and woke up the next morning about 12 hours later, luckily not hung over but with a realization that drinking didn't help me one bit. Then, this past Friday when I brought my husband home, I drank what little gin he had left in his bottle that he used to drink from.
Neither time was much drinking, but they loosed the old cravings a bit more so I have been fighting what was nearly gone after over a month sober. Anyway, we have absolutely no alcohol in the house now, which is a good thing, and since my husband can't drink anymore, we won't have any. I plan to keep on with the sober life and not worry so much about whether it is Day one or not.
So for those of you struggling, I would throw the idea of Day One out the window. Just move forward and re-commit yourself to every day being Day One and count yourself successful that you have more sober days than drinking days. I honestly don't feel that I failed in any way by drinking some during one of the most stressful times of my life. This is a process, not an endgame. For some reason, I needed to say "f*ck it" as some wise soul on here once told Juja. So what if I did? None of us are failures, we are at least trying to kick this. Just get back up and keep trying!
Hi everyone,
I haven't caught up with all of the postings, but I hope to be able to post more now that my life has returned to a semblance of normal. I have to confess to two relatively minor slips during my saga with my sick husband. One day I had to come home to get some things from here and run some errands and found myself home alone at night on a Saturday. I convinced myself that I had had such a bad week, given my husband almost dying and all, that I deserved some wine. I bought some, drank a few glasses, felt so bad I went to bed at nine and woke up the next morning about 12 hours later, luckily not hung over but with a realization that drinking didn't help me one bit. Then, this past Friday when I brought my husband home, I drank what little gin he had left in his bottle that he used to drink from.
Neither time was much drinking, but they loosed the old cravings a bit more so I have been fighting what was nearly gone after over a month sober. Anyway, we have absolutely no alcohol in the house now, which is a good thing, and since my husband can't drink anymore, we won't have any. I plan to keep on with the sober life and not worry so much about whether it is Day one or not.
So for those of you struggling, I would throw the idea of Day One out the window. Just move forward and re-commit yourself to every day being Day One and count yourself successful that you have more sober days than drinking days. I honestly don't feel that I failed in any way by drinking some during one of the most stressful times of my life. This is a process, not an endgame. For some reason, I needed to say "f*ck it" as some wise soul on here once told Juja. So what if I did? None of us are failures, we are at least trying to kick this. Just get back up and keep trying!
enguin:
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