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**madmans** · June 21, 2011, 03:57 AM

Hi

Hi Rose don't feel ashamed you didn't decide to have this problem it happened but you can decide to live life again, yes it's a hard battle but it does get easier.For years i put off stopping using all the reasons you have given and more. I now know this was my alkie mind playing games on me to keep me drinking
Yes you could wait until your holiday was over but you will probably end up drinking way more than you should knowing this was the last drink for you. I was like you thinking life is better drinking but it's not , not when you look at the big picture .

**Mia** · June 21, 2011, 05:03 AM

Hi

:welcome: Rosewiththorns. I know how you are feeling I was up to two bottles of wine a night and 26 days ago I had enough Stay here Rose you will receive love and support :l AND dont be to hard on yourself we have all been there! Have a beautiful holiday! xx

**ThreeDogNight** · June 21, 2011, 06:09 AM

Hi

Hi, Rose!

Hi, Rosewithtorns.

Oh, I have been there many times over many years, and understand what you are going through. Sure most everyone here does. It's the damn disease that gets us. It is good that you have come here for help, as there is losy of it!

I am waiting to hear back from a treatment program after getting a serious DUI a month ago. It was something I said would never happen to me--should have been on my "not yet" list, as opposed to my "never" list. I have to go back to court in a few weeks and hope that perhaps my sentence will be lighter since I am going to treatment. Finding a place hasn't been easy, but I am determined. It's my only shot. So this is what can happen if the disease is left untreated. My husband has to drive me everywhere, and the fear of people finding out is overwhelming to me.

Have you got the CDs yet? A kind person on the site sent them to me, and I wish I'd gotten them months ago! Although I had a very strange and somewhat frightening dream during one of them last night, they do seem to be having an effect on me and I am not feeling constant panic as I was for the last month. Maybe somebody here has a set they could send you.

I wish you a lot of luck and hope you have a nice holiday and can maybe just do the "one day at a time" thing.

Keep posting!

TDN:welcome:

**greeneyes** · June 21, 2011, 07:03 AM

Hi

Hi rose and welcome! Yes, going on holiday and not drinking will not be the same. Imagine waking up every morning on holiday feeling refreshed and energetic. Feeling proud that you remember every moment of the night before. Being fully ready to enjoy the pleasure of the company of your family in any and all activities because you are not looking around for the next drink and you're not queasy and looking to take the edge off your hangover. Zenny is right, there is always something on the horizon to put off quitting. Meanwhile you life is whizzing by. If you do drink on holiday, be safe and smart and considerate of yourself and your family. Holidays make memories - do your part to make them good for your kids.

**Jordan** · June 21, 2011, 07:46 AM

Hi

Green eyes put it perfectly. I'm AF only 12 days. We just had father's day and as my husband was cooking steaks on the grill it hit me hard that I would not be sharing a nice bottle of wine with him at dinner as was tradition. Of course more wine would have followed and I would probably have fallen asleep on the couch later or stayed up late only to wake up trying to remember the last few hours of the evening.

This was the first night I was really wanting a drink and I kept wondering if my husband would say, "oh, you've been so good have a glass". Bless him, he didn't and he just had beer with dinner, and I ticked off another AF day.

I will say, we used to live in another state and our friends were all big drinkers. I went AF for a year and half or so, and I kept thinking how hard it would be as our lives revolved around drinking and after a bit it was fine. They kept drinking and when you're not, you really notice how much everyone else is over drinking. One husband quit too--and it all worked out. Until I started drinking again.

The best day to stop is today. I kept saying "I'll do it Monday" "After the holidays" "After my birthday". Strike while the iron is hot because there are always reasons to keep putting it off.

One last good reason to stop--your kids. My daughter is old enough now to notice I was 'off' at times and ask if I was okay. It progressed to "don't drink too much". Ouch. She is now very aware when one of my friends has too much too drink and says she doesn't like going over to her house when she's drinking (she doesn't hide it--even in the afternoon) even though it's her bestfriend's mom. I remember being a teen and my friends and I would definately know and talk about which parents were always drunk. People notice. Sad that I became one of those moms.

My daughter hasn't noticed I'm not drinking, but I love remembering everything I've been told the night before, I love waking up feeling good and not dehydrated.

Good luck, I can totally relate to what you're going through, but 12 days--including a holiday that should have meant copious wine--and I'm making it and feeling happier than I have in ages. Losing weight too!

**Lavande** · June 21, 2011, 08:14 AM

Hi

Hello & welcome rose!

I remember those mornings after drinking a vat of wine - horrible!

Everyday is a good day to not drink! Think about the possibility of waking up hangover free & actually really enjoying your holiday

Wishing you the best!

Lav

**beautifullife** · June 21, 2011, 08:42 AM

Hi

Hello rose! Your story could be almost exactly mine, but I finally chose that day to quit to be yesterday, June 20. I originally had said it would be Sat. morning when I woke up after drinking a couple bottles of wine, hung over, tired and found this site...BUT later that day my mind tricked me again, as we all have said "one more time will be ok." Two more wasted days, "wine-ed" up to the limits, I awoke early yesterday and said I cannot put this off any more. I, too, have amazing, small children and a wonderful husband and I cannot cheat myself or them from a beautiful life and memories anymore. I am on day 2 of AF... It is difficult at times, but remember if you don't stop NOW, when will NOW actually be? I understand about the trigger of being on holiday and not having wine like "normal," but try and create a new "normal" with your children and husband so you can remember this time all together.

Best of luck to you, and check back often. This site is amazing, inspiring, and certainly has helped me.

beautifullife

**rosewiththorns** · June 21, 2011, 10:16 AM

Hi

oh you are such a wonderful group, thank you so much for your support-
i have been out all day and just got home and it was very humbling to see so many replied.
madmans, i don't know where you are- i am in navan, co meath (maybe too much info) i have never posted before- anyway thank you for your wise advise, i agree no time will ever be a good time...
Mia, well done in 26 days-great, i bet you are feeling better
hi three, sorry about your dui, have done that many times much to my embarressment! but maybe it will get you thinking? although in the depths of it, i didn't use my brain!!
havent got the book or cds yet, soetimes i think i am in deniel

zen style - love what you wrote
greeneyes -- what got me is life is whizzing by- it goes very fast alright when you can't remember half of it!
jordon, when i look at my kids, i think- please don't remember- please, but my eldest is 15 year old boy and very sporty who is not (i think) into drinking! very into his sports!like i
Lav.. i feel like i know you because i have been one of those "lurkers" for a long time, thank you for all your thoughts,
beautiful life, you are so right NOW will never come at this rate! thank you so much.

sorry if this is long, but
no point in lying ( which thought occured) i had a great morning- went to gym- cleaned house but maybe i should not have gone grocery shopping today as yes you are right- bought wine- passed the aisle twice and then went back- voice saying- oh your off work- excuses same as earlier post- i will stay on and in touch because i have to sort this out
but let me tell you all this-----------you are giving me real food for thought xx

**madmans** · June 21, 2011, 10:46 AM

Hi

Hi rose i am living in Mayo right on the coast. Have a good holiday , make sure you come back, this site can help you face the madness.

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