What Pushed You Into Sobriety

[WineSucks]

Hi Everyone -

I'm on my 30 day quest alcohol free. It's been a rough couple of days.....only on Day No. 4 Just looking for some motivtion and wondering what pushed you over the edge to sobriety? I've had soooo many events that should have pushed me over that edge but that didn't happpen. Now I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired!

[noodle]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Hi WS,
Day 4 for me too! I've been ashamed and notorious for my drinking for years, but it seemed that no matter how many times I vomited in public, did cringe worthy (putting it mildly) things in public (getting my boobs out at the works do was an all time low:H), said unforgivable things to my nearest and dearest (just because I was feeling sorry for myself), piled on the weight, watched my looks plunge down the drain, woke every morning feeling like I'd been in a car smash, but thinking all day about drink, walking past the wine box en route to the toilet and lifting it up - stock take - before I'd even opened my eyes properly, let all my hobbies and any natural talents rot because all I wanted to do was 'enjoy myself', have any energy for my kids and husband, and so on, it just didn't matter, so long as I could pour that glorious red wine into a large glass, and swallow as much as I could stomach every night. My turning point came a few months ago when I said something VERY inapproriate to somebody, I can't even think about it now (:upset as I thought I was being hilarious, when in fact I just looked like an old pervert. I was mortified the next day, and it took weeks for me to get over it. I was so ashamed of myself, as I really didn't mean it as it looked, but being an old soak it just looked SOOOOOOO wrong. Since then I had a dry patch (24 days), went off the rails again (but not as bad...I think) but it's now with me to keep trying, even if that's just cutting back, which sometimes it happens, sometimes it dosn't. That, after a very long ramble, is what brought me here.SHAME. But in a way, I'm grateful it happened, because without that awful event, I know I wouldn't be here, and I'd still be drinking my life away. The best of luck to you too xxxxxxxxxxxxx :l

[nicelife]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Hi WS, I'm a die hard Marilyn fan so looooove your photo! Anyway, what brought me here many years ago was exactly as you said - I got sick and tired of being sick and tired! Simple - but it isn't really simple is it??? I stayed AF for over 6 years and now trying to stay completely AF after thinking I could moderate. Ha! Tricky little sucker the drunk inside of me!!! Moderation is not an option for me - Once I take that first sip it's all down hill from there. Noodle, I can relate to absolutely everything you said. Are you sure you haven't got web cam and followed me around all those years ago! The shame is just awful, yet we still pour that filth down our necks! All the very best to you WS and being here makes all the difference. We are all fighting the same fight - some days are diamonds, some days are stones!

[Muppett]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Wow Noodle. What a STAR you are.
My liver has brought me here. A year ago my GGT enzymes were at 200 (normal I think is around 35). I've known that for a year and continued drinking wine on and on and on. Got a savvy new Dr who shamed me into more blood tests so I have been moderating for the past 23 days and my enzymes are now down to 140. I'm fortunate that I am able to moderate (have had more A/F days this month than in the last 30 years) The new blood test results have given me the hope to moderate even further. Went out on Saturday night and was the sober driver. So nice to wake up the next morning feeling virtuous and not full of shame and feeling like a dirty old slapper.
Go hard and KNOW you are doing really well. Kia Kaha.:l

[madmans]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

For me i wanted to live again as opposed to existing in a half life of hangovers, planning the next drink and all the bullshit that goes with it.

[Glamorous]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Hi, I am new to this site. I desperately want to stop drinking because it is wrecking my life. I am 3 stone overweight and alcohol sabotages my attempts to loose those pounds. I drink in secret a lot of the time as my hubby hates me drinking. I don't drink every night, maybe 3 nights a week, but I have to drink 2 bottles of wine. One is just not enough. If my hubby comments at all, then he gets a string of abuse, which of course I can't remember the following day. I will have been married for 25 years next February and if I carry on boozing I'm not sure I will make it. My liver enzymes are slightly elevated and I have to have more blood tests in July. I go away on holiday in 24 days and am determined to have 24AF days till then. I really don't know what medication/supplements to start with and can't face going to the doctors just yet. My brother is an alcoholic, and after 2 weeks in The Priory and joining AA he has now been sober for 19mths, after being close to death. Its obvious to me its genetic and I should give up totally. Will take all the help I can get please. x

[Rusty]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Hi Glamorous! :welcome:

Have you downloaded the MWO book yet? It's a good place to start. L-Glutamine and Kudzu are good natural supplements to start with on your path to sobriety. Also, you may want to give Baclofen a try. I am AF because of it. You can buy it reasonably from online pharmacies like Inhouse, Alldaychemist, 4Rx....etc. Also, go to the Meds forum and click on Baclofen. Lots of success stories, too. Naltrexone may work for you as well. Both are excellent for keeping the AL cravings away. Good luck to you and read and post often.

[Doggygirl]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

madmans;1135429 wrote: For me i wanted to live again as opposed to existing in a half life of hangovers, planning the next drink and all the bullshit that goes with it.

Me too.

DG

[holeymoleymeohmy]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

I gave up purely because i realised i was losing control over my drinking. All i was doing was drinking and sitting around the apartment. We weren't unhappy but i began to want more out of life thank just drinking. Like many people, i just wanted to live again and feel in control over myseflf and my actions.

The downside to this is that now if i am rude or say something inappropiate it is because i mean it

[jennyneric]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

I saw this thread this morning and just had to post this, orginally posted by me on Sunday May 15. . .

jennyneric;1115103 wrote: "The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

Good Morning all, DG I hope you don't mind that I use your quote, I really hit home with me because that is almost what happened. . .I know ya'll are probubly tire of me, on again off again, I just can't make it stick. . .after what happen Friday I don't think I have a choice. . . I will end up dead or in jail if this does not stop and really f**kin quick.

Friday the family went to dinner with my hubby boss and best friend. We have been doing this every other Friday for 2 or three months now. I knew that drinking was going to be a problem and really didn't want to but the beast drove me to the liquior store and we bought a 1/2 pint of vodka. . .( I had been successfully modding on Friday's and Saturday's for a month or so, having 3-5 drinks Friday and 2 on Saturday and none Sun-
Thus) the reason I knew it would be a problem is that my sister moved back to Nacadochiss (sp) in the dead of night Thus, she works with me and she didn't tell me she was leaving so I look stupid at work and I was very hurt. . .but I drank anyway. In and hour I had drank that 1/2 pint and went to the bosses house where his GF and her BF were there and drinking also, they both have a prob with AL also. When I got there I wanted some more so I stayed for an hour or so then back to the store I went. I got back, ate dinner and after that I become very fuzzy. I know I changed into a swim suit and went swimming, I checked on my kids, cause oddly they were not really around, I found out later that the GF had told them to stay in the room because it was adult time. Now my kids are 12 and 14 and they were shut in a small bedroom with 2 8 year olds and a 2 year old with no TV for 3 hours at least. I could forgive myself for everything else that night but that one thing is unforgivable, I would never do that to my children, I can't believe I let someone else do it right under my nose and was to drunk to even know. Now why my hubby didn't know is beyond me. . .ok next I say we need to go home, hubby gets the kids and my vodka gets in his car and starts to drive off, crazy woman me runs down the street screaming at him at 1am to give me back my vodka, he left and you guessed it, me and the other two went to the bar up the street. I danced I drank, at one point I sang, then one of the girls picked me up and then she fell, I landed on my foot very wrong and now I think it is broken or really badly sprained...its purple what ever is wrong with it. Ok so I sat down to collect myself and they went to get cigs and I never saw them again. At closing time I looked and look and called and called and could not find them so I went to their house and they had left me and walked home. . .stupid but who am I to say that. So I got home at 3. . .problem. . .and my hubby was mad so we fought, I knocked over a dresser, fell a few more times, I have bruises all over my legs and a really bad one on my upper arm that I have no idea how I got, then I called my kids down at 4:30 am to scream at them to choose between me and hubby, which one they loved more which one took care of them which one they, I guess, wanted to stay with. How stupid and mean is that??? I went to sleep and woke up 4 hours later still drunk and drove the bosses GFs purse back to her, then I went to my BF's house and she took care of me for 2 or 3 hours and we had a talk, she is an addict (not AL) and she goes through clean spells but has really f**ked up her life with that stuff, she is clean now and has been for prob a year. She told me I have to stop, if nothing else stop driving while I'm drinking, I don't remember the drive home at 3 in the morning, she said she knows its hard but I am out of control when I drink and the only way to control it is not to do it so I retain control. I love her and she loves me, I get it now I have to stop sooooo....

(Crying) Hello. . .my name is Jenny. . .and I am an alcoholic

My ankle was broken, man I felt so stupid that day. . .today is day 40, I have not drank since.

[ThreeDogNight]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Wow, Jenny!

Hi, Jenny.

You are very, very brave to post this! That was a horrible experience for you, but it has brought you to sanity and sobriety!! You've done so well, and I know it will continue.

Alcohol makes us do some very bad things and makes it hard to quit.

I think you deserve a big hug!! Sending one along to you!

:goodjob:TDN

[jennyneric]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Thank you TDN, talk about a shock and awe story huh.

[Chililug]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

For me, it's a combination of just being so tired of the merry go round of quitting, drinking, quitting, drinking. Always thinking about it, whether it's "when can I have a drink" or "I've got to stop, I have a problem, do I have a problem..." endless chatter in my head either way. I need peace! So that's part of it.

Another part is the health stuff. I'm nearing 40... I've been living pretty hard for almost 20 years now... less so since having kids, but still not healthy.

And the last part is the kids. I want to be here mentally for them. I'm endangering my baby when I fall asleep with her on my chest after drinking a lot . I keep having these visions of tripping, or dropping her when I'm holding her after drinking. I am impatient and snappish with the older (but still little) ones when I wake up with a hangover. And so on. And I'm not getting anything done in my life... go to work, drink and watch tv and surf the internet. Every day. Barely pay attention to my wonderful husband. Just get through the evening with the kids and their kid energy. I can't piss away my life like this. I can't repay the universe for the luck I've had so far with this bullshit.

Feeling things is hard. But I can do it.

I can't moderate, but I can not drink and learn to just feel what I feel.

That's why I'm here.

Thanks for being here all of you. This really helps.

Day 6 for me. Looking forward to it being so many I lose count!

[Lavande]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

The birth of my first grandchild is absolutely what pushed me into sobriety

[damo180]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Great thread WS, and really hope you can keep going , you are doing great.

I got so fed up trying to cut down, and was so miserable on the AF days (which were rare ) dying for a beer. And most tuesday mornings after a 5 day drinking session were awful, I felt crap.
Have finally admitted I just cant moderate, so this is the life for me.

Hope all are well.

Damo in Dublin