What Pushed You Into Sobriety

[WineSucks]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

WOW!!!! Thank you all for posting. I can so relate to what alot of you are saying. I have the endless chatter in my head every single day and I just want to be free from it! Jenny - What a story and thank you for sharing! I'm so glad you are on day 40.....what an accomplishment.

For me, I'm so sick and tired of saying stupid ass things when I'm drunk. Or agreeing to do things and then forgetting that I said I would do things....or fighting with my husband and being bitch or over emotional.....or singing with a band in the club because for some reason I think I can sing but Lord knows I can't......or flirting with people that I wouldn't even give the time of day to if I were sober....or feeling hungover with a headache, stomach ache and either staying in bed all day or trying to go to work feeling like crap and my A game becomes a D-.

And this list doesn't even begin to cover it. I just want freedom.

Thanks so much for all the support and sharing.....the day I found this site was truly a blessing and I am so grateful.

[Doggygirl]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Freedom truly is the best way to describe it. I drank for many years after drinking stopped being "fun." It was just a guilt trip waiting to happen in my world. Then I just decided it was better to sit at home by myself and get drunk. That was really pathetic, and definitely became like being in AL prison.

Freedom indeed!

DG

[nicelife]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

I also just wanted peace, as well as the other things I mentioned before. Peace from the issues which were influenced by my drinking, the constant struggle to not buy/drink booze, the juggling of $ so that I had enough to feed children AND have enough to drink. If I only had $10 in my wallet I used to put $2 petrol in my car (which I knew was enough to get me to work in those days) and spend $2 on bread or milk (which ever was most needed) and $6 on wine!!! My name when I was here years ago was justwantpeace. It took me a wee while to realise the freedom being AF afforded me as well as appreciate the peace being AF brought. Life in a booze free zone is sooooo much better. I guess it is just a matter of what you want more. Booze or a better life?????!!!!! It is nice to be feeling stronger this last week or so......

[Nelz]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Waking up in the ICU at a local hospital with NO idea where I was, how I got there, or just when exactly they managed to stick all those hoses in my arm, in my nose, and in my.............well nuff said.

Thats what Im calling rock bottom. Spent the day trying to convince counselors that I was ok, and did NOT need to stop drinking....LOL uhhhhmmm yeah right

[choice]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

What pushed me most was not liking myself anymore and wondering why drinking wasn't fun anymore. Guilt, shame, hangovers, insecurity, depression, anxiety, and a lack of well being. Now all positive things push me. I feel healthy, hopeful, more energy, everything is more fun, I can remember things. Most of all I love how I can cope with pretty much anything better. Coping is amazing sober.

[noodle]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

Kia Ora Muppet, and Ka Pai to you too!
Jennie, what an amazing post, definately someting we should look at in moments of weakness. Amazing the tragic stories I read on here, brought on ourselves by a state we put ourselves into willingly, determind. I suppose it's hard for anyone else 'normal' to understand that really little choice goes into it. It's a compulsion.
I'm wishing love and peace to all of you tonight. We can do it :l XXXXXXXXXXX
Have a great sober weekend everyone xx

[autumn]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

What a humbling thread. Thanks so much for starting it WineSucks.
I just couldn?t carry on, AL had utterly broken me, and suicide was starting to look like the only option to break the awful ground hog hell I was stuck in. Thankfully I found this site and the courage to ask for help. For eighteen months, towards the end of my awful drinking career, I was trapped in a Vodka hell. My waking was spent obsessing about AL, how I could get out of the house to buy it, how I could smuggle it in, hide the bottle then try to hide the stench whilst trying to function with a degree of normality.
It spiralled into madness, waking up, checking the stash, calculating that will get me through till I?m dressed, then having to down a pint of water laced with vodka to stop the hurt. I had to wait till hubby was in the shower until I could brush my teeth so he wouldn?t hear me retch my guts up. Then came the precision planning of which shop to frequent and how to act casual whilst buying a bottle of Vodka at 10am! I ended up in tears in many a public toilet whilst decanting vodka into an empty water bottle and stuffing the empty bottle behind the toilet, vowing and praying, tomorrow would be different. Always fearful that I would be ?caught? at any moment by the vodka police! Just the awful, awful feeling of everyone knowing your dirty secret. Sorry, can?t explain the feeling that as much as you try to hide it, it?s the shame that you look like an alkie and every one can smell it on you no matter how much you try to hide it. The puffy face, bloodshot eyes, never lie. Telling people, ?keep your distance, I have a really bad cold? whilst praying they can?t smell the fumes.
Then my husband gave me the ultimatum quit or we are finished. Which meant losing my marriage, home and business. (I have no children, too scared of ruining their lives too). So thank you MWO, because 7 months on, I have my life back, and boy those dark evil days are gone but my God they are not forgotten.
Oh, this is the short version, I could be here days sharing the bruises, the embarrassing faux pas, the A&E trip to have my Ass sewn up after falling on a glass, being known as the lush, being pitied by friends, and all the time I wasted as it?s a black out blurr???..I just wanted to live not die a slow painful death.

[mario]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

This was my rock bottom and what after many years of fooling myself that i was still in control of my drinking finally pushed me into sobriety,
In January2009 after a lovely holiday with both our families (as my partner would not go away with me on my own) I went on a mad drinking binge and when I returned home from the pub that night I verbally and physically attacked people around me including my partner. The police were called once again and I was asked to leave the house and the relationship was over. The next day true to form I was back in the pub first thing in the morning as if nothing happened. It wasn't because I didn't remember the things that had happened, I did! This is what I always done when I had problems in my relationships. When I woke up in my sister?s house the following morning massively hungover as usual, something clicked in my head. It was, I can?t do this to myself anymore. Apart from any chance of saving my relationship which I knew was finished, I knew I had to try and save myself.

[WineSucks]

What Pushed You Into Sobriety

What powerful stories........Autumn I can still feel the pain when you tell the story and it's been a long time ago! It's so hard to look back and have memories of all of the awful things that happened while we were under the influence. I cringe at some of the memories that run through my head.

You guys are such an inspiration...believe me, reading these posts over the past couple of days has really helped me. I'm only on Day 6 and definately would have given in by now if it weren't for this site. Thank You!