Feelin Anxious

[noodle]

Hi everyone. I'm in a real state.....again. Waves of determination keep stopping and starting, I'm sick of this merry go round. I'm beginning to accept I just don't do cutting back or moderation. I'm on and off the rails like nobody's business. Spent all day Friday vomiting and with a banging head...at work, it was ridiculous. Then, 7 pm Friday night, guess what, a few drinks because it's the weekend. Then Sat, because its Saturday night, the Sunday....guess what...because it's Sunday. What a fiasco. Sat here feeling like crap, looking even worse. Day 1 again for me, I really need to pack this circus up and move on. ALready the thoughts of my birthday (which is in 2 months time) have started...will I be drinking? It's ridiculous. Half of me says staying sober would be the best present I could give myself. I've read from so many people on here how sick they are of thinking about it all the time, and that rings so much with me, that's what I would love to loose more than anything. Sooooo DAY 1..bring it on.

[scottish lass]

Feelin Anxious

Noodle (thats my daughters nickname!) - you could be me, that is just how I feel. I got a cold bottle on a really hot day (over 105) on Wednesday, then as I had done it Thursday, Fri and Sat just followed along. however today was a bad day anyway and hungover I just can't pull the reserves to cope with it and feel so sorry for myself.
I just can't understand why I keep repeating - why can't I learn from lessons learnt - day 1 stinks, I wish I could break the cycle.
Am here with you - lets do it!!!!
Hope you sleep well tonight and here's to waking up better tomorrow..

[Muppett]

Feelin Anxious

Noodle, I am disappointed. You are SUCH an insperation to the rest of us. Everyone on here pussy-foots around saying "oh well, try again tomorrow" but the reality is that I feel let down that you've slipped back.
However, having said that, its a slip and that's all......................another day tomorrow. Kia Kaha.....................Just do it baby......you KNOW how good it feels to be sober. (also, most people slip into a mild depression before their birthdays. HANDLE!) xx:l

[noodle]

Feelin Anxious

Hi Scottish Lass & Muppett,
SL, sleep was sporadic, but thought even if I'm tired tomorrow, at least I won't have the dreaded hangover. Had palpitations all night and was convinced someone was trying to break in, funny when you think I'm mostly so out of it that I couldn't care if some crazed rapist wandered through the house. I'm quitting this game, had enough. I hope you feel as strong as I do at the moment SL and you manage a way out too x Let us know how you're doing.
Muppett, yup I know I f*****d up big time, sorry you feel dissapointed, but I'm just being honest here. I know what you mean about the 'pussy footing' you read hundreads of posts.."I'll try again tomorrow", it sounds flippant, but I reckon there's a lot of us who are much more dissapointed with themselves than anyone else could be, and like me just putting it out there. I'll keep trying, and posting, and hope and pray that I will muster the strength up to save my own life, and if I can support others in the mean time, I reckon thats a good way to go.
Hope you're both havin' a peacefull day.
Day 2 and feeling like I can win.
:hxxxx

[scottish lass]

Feelin Anxious

Hi noodle - you are so right about us being disappointed in ourselves enough for everyone. I slept ok, took calms forte - usually only need one and took three as i knew it would be hard. Didn't get to sleep till gone midnight and was wide awake at 5am, not so terrible - still feel 100% better than Sunday! Day 2 here - it is nearly 4pm and the voices are making a shopping list that i will just have to stop for on the way home and obviously wander down the wine aisle!
well done noodle - day 2 on its way as long as i get home from work without stopping

[Muppett]

Feelin Anxious

GO HARD Noodle. You're a star and don't forget it. You too SL. This whole thing is a bit like snakes and ladders. You win some and you lose some but we get there in the end. YIPPPEEEE. Feeling REALLY good and clean.x

[mario]

Feelin Anxious

Hi noodle,muppet & scottish lass, keep going & moving forward one day or hour at a time,get your plan & goals in place,there is a toolbox in the monthly abstence thread which is great.nothing changes if nothing changes. :-)

[noodle]

Feelin Anxious

Hi SL, Muppett & Mario,
Day 3 for me and totally into it. Hope you made it past the wine ailse SL! I walked through ours with my eyes shut and thoughts about my head down the loo last Friday, just before I picked up the bottle again - not good. Thanks Mario - love the nothing changes angle - sure right there, and I'm up for lots of changes.
Hoping everyones havin a super sober one xx

[havefaith]

Feelin Anxious

Hi Noodle,
I'm in Real Estate too! Boy, Talk about being in a career that has it's UP'S & Downs.
I'm glad your spirts are high. Keep up the good work. It's day 2 for me(I'm feeling pretty optimistic as well)

[havefaith]

Feelin Anxious

OOPS- You said real state, not real estate! Ha Ha (where is my Brain)?

[noodle]

Feelin Anxious

Hee Hee - very funny, thankly I'm not!!

[noodle]

Feelin Anxious

Bloody hell...thankfully!!!
Gawd must be somthing about shrivled brains - lol x