I am so scared

[Blues Dancer]

After 40 wonderful days of being sober I fell apart. I do not want alcohol in my life anymore. I"m terrified I will never beat this horrible addiction. I'm starting over today, but my confidience is shot. Why do I do this to myself. When will it stop? I feel so sad and so lonely. I was on top of the world, and allowed alcohol to take my power. I can not go on like this. I know I should not beat myself up over my slip, but I am just so scared.

[Freda]

I am so scared

Hi- am just starting this tough, tough, life being alcohol free and had a slip, but like you, I have started over. You say alcohol has taken your power, but your have shown how strong you are by making the decision to quit, doing so and then after a lapse, not giving in to it and carrying on trying. Doing so is a brave and powerful thing to do xx

[Sharky]

I am so scared

Blues-
Hang in there! I am also starting over. Day 1 today. My confidence is at an all time low and I need to build it back up. We are all in this together - we can dot it!

[JackieClaire]

I am so scared

Oh Blues,
I honestly feel for you and you too Freda. It's not an easy path we choose. For now just rest and rehydrate.

Please believe when I say us old timers have felt your despair many times. Try not to see the big picture of the rest of your life. Break it down into minute by minute, hour by hour, then day by day. Try not to let this become a major relapse. You've done so well and should be rightly proud of yourselves.

Go back over your AF time, see if there's anything you would change. What did you enjoy, what didn't you enjoy. Anything you could have done differently. What were your trigger situations.It could be any number of things that could set you off.

Just re-jig your plan a bit and have another bash at it.

J x
:l

[Tipplerette]

I am so scared

Blues Dancer it's one of the Pinksters. You lasted a lot longer than I did. Be proud of your accomplishment and get back at it. I am in awe of you for going 40 days. I crashed at 17.

Take care

Tips

[jellybabyboo]

I am so scared

Hey Blues... JC is so right on... one minute at a time is the only way to get through it. Whenever I start to think about "how will I ever get by NOT having a glass of wine ever again" I begin to panic and want that glass even more - basically I think I'll give in one day anyway so why not just get it over with? One of the most important things I've learned is that relapse (no matter how long you've been sober) is part of recovery for 95% of all addicts. If you can forgive yourself and get right back on the path after a downturn... you show a strength that can get you completely over the addiction. It's always in the struggles that we find our higher power. Hang in there, you CAN do this.

[Lavande]

I am so scared

Blues Dancer, Freda & Sharky,

It's about identifying your triggers & adjusting your plans to handle these situations differently.
Run the Hungry Angry Lonely Tired acronym through your head & see if any of those situations led you to the decision to drink. It works like a charm

For me learning to relax without AL was a big factor. The MWO Hypno CDs helped immensely. Go online & find free guided meditations, they're great too!

Don't make it easy for yourself to drink. Don't keep any at home & don't buy more. I made that commitment & glad I did. You can do it too

[leaveinsilence]

I am so scared

I can't really add much to what the others have posted, but you know you can go without AL in your life, just work through it, like the others said identify your triggers why did you drink, etc,etc, then advoid them like the plague when you feel that way again. You can turn your slip into a positive now, use it to think how awful you felt the next day, next time you feel tempted use the experience as a tool. Just remember that we all know how you feel and most have us have been there, you're not the first person to slip up you know:l

Hang in there.

[Blues Dancer]

I am so scared

Thank you everyone for your wonderful support. I have been battling this for the past two years. I really thought I had it this time. The cravings were hard at times but I managed to surf them. I loved every day of being sober. I believe I became complacent once I got to 30 days. I had a plan in place and let it go because I thought I had everything under control. I will be making a new plan and sticking to it. I have a wonderful life and I am truly blessed . There is nothing worth drinking over. Thank you so much for listening and for your kind words. I really appreciate you and MWO.

[Guitarista]

I am so scared

Hiya Blues dancer,

Well done on 40 day's AF! Just remember that is a huge accomplishment, you felt on top of the world, and YOU did it. You made it happen, and you will again. Relapse is a big part of recovery you know, and important lessons can be learned from it, if we look, and have a think about why.

Great stuff that you are on day 1, and even better that you don't want to drink. It takes a while to re-train our mind and body to not desire booze, but slowly and surely, our bodies repair, and our brains re-wire. Don't forget to look at proper nutrition for an ex-boozer, and maybe some specific supplements such as some suggested in the MWO program? Do what you have to do, and nail it. You'll start feeling better in a couple of day's, and your confidence will return.

Best wishes, G-bloke.

[havefaith]

I am so scared

Blues dancer,
I too am starting over. But when I relapsed- idid it for a few months(thinking I could control my drinking)
Trust me-there was no Control! It got worse & worse
So Please, get right back on to your Recovery. I wish I would have.
I'll be praying for both of us!

[Sharky]

I am so scared

Looks like a lot of us are starting over on a Day 1. I too DREAD this feeling and never want to feel this way again. Hopefully I will remember what a wasted day I brought upon myself. I can't wait for Day 2 and a long string of AF days. This feeling and self-loathing stinks. We have all made an important first step. Let's continue!

[Blues Dancer]

I am so scared

I just spoke with my family and I have decided that if i have one more slip I will check into rehab. I don't want to go to rehab. I want to do this with MWO and the love and support of my family, but if I fail again I will go. Enough is enough.

[Doggygirl]

I am so scared

Blues, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you are willing to go to any length to get sober. The fact that you are willing to go to rehab, even though it's not what you would prefer, says a lot about where you are in this battle. I too had to get willing to do things I had previously been unwilling to do in order to get over the hump.

Funny - I was just having a conversation with someone this morning about the role of relapse in recovery. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I had to go through it before I could fully accept my addiction. I had to try "controlled drinking" (:H:H:H) one more time. I think lots of people do.

You are not alone, and I love the way you are thinking about this.

DG

[jennyneric]

I am so scared

Blues, you can do this, sometimes it takes a while to get it. Have you identify you triggers and then figure out how to avoid them. I find Frosty's from Wendy's work really well!