Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Snap... I fully understand the trip! I am strongly considering spending $1400 ... A lot of $$$ right now... on sleep away camp for a week of peace without the boys! They go from so sweet to so bad soooo fast.
I tapped my son in the chest to get his attention and he fell on the floor out of breath and hysterical in this dramatic episode! It's ironic that I yelled at my husband for cursing at him a few days ago and yesterday I was yelling to come help as I was dumbfounded. Where is my sweet child

Here's to not drinking today.
E!

[bcineed2]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi all....

To Snap and Enough, oh yes...the teenage years! I have had so many episodes of the 'death stare' from my 15 year old, as well as a year or so of my now 17 year old acting as if she hated me (thankfully, that seems to have cleared but it was really, really rough). My oldest, now in college, never put me through those trials so it really came as a surprise with the next two!

Always remember that their brains are sooo a work in process, and that all input in adolescent brains (i.e., visual, auditory, emotional etc.) is filtered through the emotional brain center prior to the logical center. This lasts until about age 18 or 19 with girls but up to 21-22 with boys. That knowledge has always helped me ride their (usually) momentary storms.
Did you know that the adolescent brain is developing at a greater rate than at any time in the life span other than age 0-1? It's growing, changing, and morphing so fast that they can't keep up with it or understand it. Of course, that might not excuse any of their behavior toward us or their environment, but it does help explain it...IMHO.

Quick update...no drinking since that stupid wine the other night although I cooked with wine last night and it was way too challenging to have two bottles...one red, one white (awesome pasta sauce!)... on the counter. But my mantra was...this wine is for cooking only...if I drink it, I'll only be even more pissed off than the last time! So..onward!

Sorry Enough, I can't come up with anything motivating today...it's been a blah day. But I'll take a blah day anytime rather than a hungover, self-hating, and worried day!

As always, my thanks to all who share this fight. We're in it to win it...yes?? YES!

[bcineed2]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Add On!

Hi again...I remembered this after adding the last post:

Enough, Snap and everyone else who might relate...

my BF once told me that when his daughter was a teenager, her moods and behavior were like the weather in Chicago. " It changed every 15 minutes!"

She's in her 20's now and wonderfully in relationship with him and the world but I've never forgotten that line. Again, it has helped me withstand many storms (no pun intended)!

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

So far so good today! Up super early and almost finished playing maid on a rare Saturday off... I really need 4 bathrooms for what reason... To clean 4x the pee!!!! After 4 solid hours of scrubbing...my house seems in some order ( yay )- big anxiety trigger. No meltdowns yet from the peanut gallery ( my 13 and 9 yr old boys) ... Off to run some errands and make fajitas for Cinco de mayo.
Maybe time later for a swim in our chilly pool.
Feelin good . Check in.... Check in
Anyone heard from Shue ?
E!

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Oh boy...oh boy! Here I am starting yet again another AF day 1.....ugh! I started the L-Glut, Milk Thistle and Kudzu which everyone has raved about! I am willing to try anything and I am hoping that this works as I am so totally tired of this vicious cycle. It seems as though I don't even need someting bad or stressful to happen to trigger me to reach for the vodka. I am tired of feeling like a failure and not remembering what the hell I did the night before...waking up feeling like crap...the empty promises to myself that I won't take that "first" drink today but ending up doing it anyway! It is so exhausting trying to act sober and to try to fool people when I am only fooling myself. So here's to day 1 AF.....wish me luck!!!!!!!!

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Day 1 AF 5/6/12

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Popping in to wish you all a great week.

I managed to continue not drinking by:

-not going to 2 parties while I was so tired I knew I would just cave

-instead of self-medicating my bad cold with wine or hot toddies I took a few sick days and lied in the sun like a lizard (guzzling Perrier)

-stocking my outdoor fridge with AF beer and homemade lemonade for when we had guests

- ...and of course, MWO - being commited and accountable to the toughies of "monthly abstinence" - they kicked my a$$ a few times

All I can say is that it was a long enough process even to get to here, but I am hopeful.

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

So I got through day 1 AF! I am now on day 2. I had a horrible night and woke up with the night sweats...ugh! I have to say that it was nice waking up not groggy and being disgusted at myself for giving into the beast the day/night before. I am going to try to stay stong today and keep taking the L-Glut, Milk Thistle and Kudzu. I am just hoping that these night sweats don't last too long. Has anyone else had to go through them?

[patricia]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi d, I don't think it's too much of a wild guess to say that most of us will know about night sweats although I usually get them when my head tells me I've had too many nights drinking wine - with me the wine and guilt give me the sweats - the nights I don't drink they are far less you'll find that whatever your going through or have gone through some or most of us will have first hand experience. Good luck px

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Thanks Patricia! I got through today....day 2 AF...yay! I had some rough times, but I kept thinking about everyone on here and knowing I wasn't alone somehow made me get through it! I am looking foward to tomorrow but definitely not tonight....hopefully I won't have the night sweats....that really sucked!

[treetops]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I finally met the liver specialist yesterday. From his evidence - I am at the fatty liver stage.
I see 2 options
1. continue drinking and advance to cirrhosis and possible liver cancer, die by the age of 60 and leave a teenage daughter and long-term partner to pick up the pieces

2.stop drinking, have fun, recover my liver and at age 60 - so something fantastic with my whanau.

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

ThreeDogNight;1312498 wrote:
Met witht he doc yesterday and all my blood work was pefect He did an EKG and that was fine, too! A year ago my liver enzymes were bad and two years ago after an ultrasound, I was told I had a fatty liver. Even my cholesterol, which has always been low, was high. So to be back to normal is such good news!
Off to work. Back later!
Have a happy AF day!

Treetops ? the one above was posted by ThreeDogNight ? she has been through a lot and it was wonderful for me to see that despite adversities, people can pull free from the black hole of alcohol.

I must tell you all that what changed it for me this time is actually actively WANTING not to drink. Temptation was still there and I had a few recent slips, despite myself. But deep down I just don?t want to drink anymore. My body still wants to drink, sometimes I have to catch myself before I slip but I feel that little by little I start to heal inside ? my head.

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Good morning!

Tree... As Shue mentioned... Now you can beginning healing.
Dest.... It's all uphill from here... Stick with your plan.

I am enjoying a beautiful morning... After a lovely sober night sleep... The anxiety is manageable again. The bottle of wine hubby brought home remained unopened! I now get the reward of 2 hours to myself to skate or go for a walk ( instead of crawling back into bed to re-cooperate) before my super crazy work day which includes a full catered party at my store with our clients this evening. Instead of " sampling" everything ( like I did last time )... My plan is toasting my team at the end. I want to enjoy life sober. I mean it this time. It feels different... I am not just saying it to say it!!! I hope that makes some sense

Shue... Maybe it is just our time that the not wanting to drink "bug" has finally landed!

All the best to all!
Enough

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Positive vibes to you Enough!

[mya]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

The BUG has landed!
I don't want to drink and I won't.

Tree 9 months ago my bloodwork came back with high liver enzymes, you would think that the test would have snapped me out of drinking, but no I was having such a hard time in my life that I didn't care what happened.

Monday WAS my Day 1 and then I had two drinks Tuesday and two last night and last night I just thought to myself "What are you getting out this?" Nothing except being overweight, tired, grouchy, etc..

So today is my last Day 1, I woke up this morning and worked out. I have to do. I go back for blood work in a couple of weeks and I'm so scared but I have to face it head on!

Good to see you Shue and Enough!