Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[mumofsix]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Joining you AGAIN here too - back to Day One - again feeling hungover after 2 litres of wine last night, very stressed out between dealing with a tourettes/adhd child and constantly absent husband. Have a Half Marathon to run this weekend - just another pressure I constantly put on myself to feel better about who I am - marathon running. I have figured that this is the one thing I feel good at. Just so sick of being me!

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Mumosix. So glad to meet you. I too have an ADHD kid, mine also has Ellars Danlos. Between her being 16 with raging hormones and the ADHD, I usually want to hide in a bottle. I am only on day 3 and its one of the hardest parts. I am a people pleaser and will have to learn the word NO! I am really committed to making it so I know I will have to tell people No just to keep my stressers down! keep in touch.

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Its 5pm and that nasty feeling is starting. My daughter is not done work until 8pm. I want to go to the gym! I want an endorphine high! I want to work my muscles until I hurt then soak in the hot tub! My husband wants some alone time! I am scared, I have not had sober sex in more than 3 years.He is very supportive but how long will that last if I continue to push him away physically?

[mumofsix]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Yip - feeling thoroughly sick of EVERYTHING in my life at the moment kids,husband,running,gym - everything. I feel like running away from everyone and everything and myself. I am NOT looking forward to my half marathon this weekend.

[mumofsix]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

mby82266;1157669 wrote: Its 5pm and that nasty feeling is starting. My daughter is not done work until 8pm. I want to go to the gym! I want an endorphine high! I want to work my muscles until I hurt then soak in the hot tub! My husband wants some alone time! I am scared, I have not had sober sex in more than 3 years.He is very supportive but how long will that last if I continue to push him away physically?

I can imagine you are - he sounds fantastic though and very loving my husband is always away and at the moment emotionally and physically absent with me when hes home. He doesnt really mention the drinking but he doesnt drink alot and I know he hates me doing it

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Bottlestopper--Welcome! I just posted to you over at the Nest, but I think it's a great idea to get involved in as many threads as you can. Do you have a plan for quitting worked out?

A shout out to Noxy and Gregorino! :hallo:

Mum and Mby--You both sound like you have a lot in common. Lots of stress in your houses. Lavande at the Nest was talking about a website that she likes and at that website they talked about the Japanese concept of Naikan. Naikan is essentially self-reflection. I find it really calming and it changes my attitude or my outlook sometimes. If you want to give it a try, sit down for about 20 minutes and ask yourself 3 questions about the past 24 hours:

1. What have I received from (person x)?
2. What have I given to (person x)?
3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused to (person x)?

This could be your husband, children, boss, job, parent, friend, whomever. You do NOT ask what troubles has someone caused you. The belief is that we are too focused on how we are being wronged and what we deserve. But try to focus on how you're being supported. I am being supported already by having a house, air conditioning, heat in the winter, clothes to wear, hot water, food, a job, etc. But I take all of that for granted. I should be grateful for that because many are not as fortunate as I am. When I thought about all of the things that my husband does to support me I was amazed. He makes coffee and brings me a cup first thing in the morning. He made me an omelet for breakfast yesterday. He emptied the dishwasher. He works to support our house. He puts oil in my car. He fertilized our grass. Etc. He frequently does more for me in a 24 hour period than I do for him! It was kind of eye opening. And it's nice to reflect on all of the good you have in your life.

Mum--Best of luck to you in your run this weekend.

[Queenbug]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Helloooooooooo.....goddam, now I've started typing I can't scroll back on this laptop, it logs me out....but ANYOLDHOO....
Shue!....it's ok...you are still here fighting...jeez I felt every word you said...such a goddam struggle sometimes!!!
mby and mum....ditto!....but here you still are...when you read back over these posts you can see how strong you are even in those tricky times....
Fly...I loved the idea of that Naikan....
Noxy Bottlestopper Gregorino....hellooooo!
Well I've just come back from a flying visit home to my mum, sisters, extended fam...took one of my daughters to an interveiw nearby and we stopped off...my whole family'slives completley revolve around drinking! I just hadn't realised the extent before (actually that's not true...it's part of the reason for leaving 30 odd years ago...but have been drinking for last 15 myself so it's all got a bit blurred)...first time sober I've done this and it was weird. I had lots of comments like "you're no fun sober" and "you don't drink that much" and a bit of hostility about me 'wasting' 3 good bottles of wine that were waiting for me. That hit home a bit as it was a 500+ mile round trip done in about 24 hours...would I REALLY have downed 3 bottles and driven that much?!
Was hard...and I wasn't ready to come out with what I was trying to do..especially as most of them were getting drunker and drunker...and I wasn't....didn't feel smug...just detatched and a bit estranged. Reflecting on it...I always felt out of it a bit with them...don't get me wrong, we are quite close and love each other...but there is always a fight or fued, but I just don't fit...strange feelings about it all tonight.
BUT....L-Gluted it up big style, walked a bit, had my laptop but no internet, but sneeked a bit of reading of MWO book....and jeez louise I did it. Got NO fingernails left...but Day 5 down people!
Am very glad to be back here checking in...
Big love to you lot and hope that you are ok
Nite nite xx

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

OMG Queenie, you did it, you did it, you did it!!!!! :yay::happy::wd::applaud::yougo::wave:

[mumofsix]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Day 5 Queenie - congrats. Well done! you did it which is so much better than me at this stage

[Queenbug]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Thank you Fly...I'm a bit proud of myself actually...biggest hurdle yet!
Was just thinking about tomorrow (later today!)....I'm collecting my other daughter from her gap year travels...and she's been aware/critical/angry/worried about my drinking for a while..she knows I'm trying this...and will understand how huge what I've just done is...and I can face her and say "Its ok babe...I'm sober".....that makes me happy....makes what I just did seem even better....

What would I do without you lot?! xx

[Queenbug]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hey Mum...it's ok...if you read back...how you feel now is exactly how I was feeling....we f*** up....but then get right back with it...and take care of each other...sounds like you are having a huge struggle at the moment...it can get SO tough to just do this...and then there's all the fall out/changes/consequences from that decision...some of it can be completely overwhelming....
Stick with it petal xx

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Queen you've made me want to cry! Your daughter will be so proud of you! :l

[Queenbug]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

We keep crossing on different threads Fly.....:biglaughmonkey:
Hope she will ..... x

[mumofsix]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Queenbug;1157732 wrote: Hey Mum...it's ok...if you read back...how you feel now is exactly how I was feeling....we f*** up....but then get right back with it...and take care of each other...sounds like you are having a huge struggle at the moment...it can get SO tough to just do this...and then there's all the fall out/changes/consequences from that decision...some of it can be completely overwhelming....
Stick with it petal xx

Queenie thankyou I do feel overwhelmed at the moment - I cant stand being me! i HAVE DECIDED I need to give this as much of myself as I give to my running - EVEN if I need to cut the running back to be successful at this. I run so much and give myself so many challenges that some days I am just so tired and sick of everything - BUT that scares me too, getting unfit and failing at running but then again I am going to end up DEAD if I keep this up. I have joined AA online as we DONT have meetings in my tiny town (and that isnt an excuse by the way I live in a very rural place) I have three half marathons coming up and my trip to New York coming up. I have an ADHD - violent 15 year old that I had to call the police on yesterday morning - thats what set the latest binge off, then again thats just anothe excuse for shit behaviour and my unwillingness to change it!

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Looking for Mya and Vini and Not Tonight!

Mya--I know you got some bad news on your blood tests. Give it a couple weeks without drinking and you'll probably be fine. Are you still reading here? I'm thinking of you.

Vini--You slipped up the other day, but the only way you can fail at this is if you stop trying. Please try again.

Not Tonight--Went to a music festival with her kids last weekend. Waiting to hear how the show was!

Also thinking of Enough away at the cottage and Snapdragon on her honeymoon. Praying for strength for all our friends. :groupluv: