Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough ? welcome back, I missed you ? so happy to hear that you held strong and look at everything with different eyes now. Don't cave in, I am here for you!!! :l

Fly ? yes, I don?t know how you manage to keep tabs on all of us, little chicks and get us back in the nest. :thanks:My sis in law has been so far the only one who tried her darnest to pour drink down my neck. I realize it is because she is the most insecure and felt better knowing that I out-drank her. Stand up for your yourself with your brother in law (or spill the drink behind his back, I?ve been doing a lot of ?accidental? spilling since joining this forum)

Queen B ? the nails will grow back soon ? your liver might take longer. You are such a positive force for all of us, I am sure your daughter will pick it up too

Boozer ? result, mate!!! that is great altogether, I think cold turkey is hard from take 1 (or 2 or 3)

Noxy ? my dog is a huge mastiff with enough energy to power a small village ? not diminished in the slightest after we neutered him. He was a headcase (i.e. super dominant behavior before the Alpha bitch in me really came out and put a lid on that) ? and still needs constant training and walking otherwise he?d either dig our garden all the way down to China or chew all pipes in the garage (preferably both).

Mumof 6 ? My gosh, you are a runner ? keep doing it, it must in your blood by now.

Vanilla ? I feel for you, male peer pressure is the worst ? I have seen it myself - my hubby is Irish (big rugby and golf fan) and is now asking me to play bitch in front of his buddies and bail him out after 3 beers. ?One for the road? is the worst line ever.

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

sober sex

Mby - I had this on my mind for a while now, you just prompted me.

For the past 3 years while drinking out of control ? I noticed that AL got me super horny, totally uninhibited and provided that I did not pass out on the coach ? I was always up for it. Which is probably why my hubby has never complained about my drinking .

Now that I am sober for about a month ? I find that I need to learn again how to do intimacy. And that it?s bloody difficult. First time I have to admit to thinking ?whoa ... this is not nearly as much fun sober !!!? There is nothing to take the edge of my shyness, of how terrible I feel about my body and I am painfully aware that I am not up for just anything like before. A new wave of panic engulfed me thinking that my hubby is sure to notice the difference too.

One of my rules for keeping my marriage happy is ? never say no to sex? ? AL has definitely helped me reinforce that but now I have to deal with the aftermath. Baby steps, baby steps.

PS ? Apologies for being straightforward or too bold:sorry:

PS - Mby ? I cried when I read your husband?s words ? he is wonderful and you are very lucky to have a man like him.

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I had a really nice day yesterday at my apartment complex pool. We had a birthday party for my grand daughter. It was a AF party. People wanted to know where the booze was and I said the guest of honor was 8 so she couldn't drink yet! My sister was a little more persistant so I just told her I am an alcoholic. She was really upset with me and told me not to say that. She insists that AL is just something I like and maybe I need to get some control. BTW She has the amazing ability to drink large quantities of AL for days or weeks at a time and stop whenever she wants. I gave her a hug told her I loved her and said that at 44 I could make my own decisions without the help of my big sister. My decision is to stay AF. At the end of the day when everyone went home I was alone in my living room, the whole house was asleep. I started craving and almost convinced myself that 1 shot would not hurt. I sat down with my computer and checked in. I made it through, so happy.

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Shu, thank you so much for posting. It is exactly what I am going through. I miss fun inhibited sex. Every time he touches me I shy away, fearful that he is looking for an opening. Its all fear, I am not good enough, I am not 24 anymore, Its just not the same anymore. I guess its time to just sit down with him and spill my guts yuck! I know he will be receptive to me if I tell him all my fears about sex. We will have to find new ways to intimacy.

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Caved just a bit

After my post last night I finally went outside to join our group and have to admit I was in a terrible mood. My nieces boyfriend and my sister in law commented that I was being mean... which I totally was. I tried to joke it off that I was nice all vacation long and needed to try something different. I have to admit I was being a bitch!

So... the only way i thought to change my bad attitude was a quick couple glasses of red... yep did the trick! Thankfully the rest of the group drank everything almost dry while I was sulking inside doing everything possible to not go out and be tempted. By the time I came out (almost 11pm) there was only the bottom of the last bottle; so it was easy to stop at that cause nothing else was left . I have to be honest and admit I did rummage through the fridge and recycables to make sure that they didn't miss one... thankfully they hadn't.

This is exactly what I don't want as this is the type of stupid behavior that caused all my trouble to being with.

Keep you thoughts with me as I have 2 days left of vacation. This afternoon we are taking the boys to Harry Potter in 3D IMAX... so I am good until the nightly patio ritual later this evening.

Enough!
:h

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough sweetie, don't let them bully you !!! at the end of the day you see these people only once a year but you have to live with yourself everyday (sober).

Holidays are tough in the sense that they mellow you and weaken your resolve but remember your journey, and us, we're here for you sending you more strengths through our thoughts.

Hang in there and spite them with your soda drinks. They only act this way because they feel threatened by you and you make them feel insecure and not in controld over their own drinking.

Love and strength from the other side of the world
!!!!

:h:h:h

[scottish lass]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

One week! Yahoo - one of the best things about being AF is the feeling on Monday!! If I can remeber this always, I would never have a problem - sadly, it is hard to remember around 5pm when the wine calls!!
One week done, second starting......
well done everyone, for successes - no matter what they look like - getting striaght back on is as big a success as anything. In my few month son MWO I have seen so many well intentioned people posting with great determiniation, then dissappear, and the only thing I can assume () is that they slipped and did not get back to business....
Have a good week all - I have a nutty crazy one, girls back to school and an accreditation audit at work, so will read posts daily, but may not write often

[hadit]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough, Hang in there. Funny how holidays can be so damn hard.We had 2 weeks in Bali a month ago an I drank far to much as usual when I go to this island.You only have a few days to go. I can feel your pain.Have to rush...............off to work. 6.30am in OZ Will check in later. Good Luck everyone, keep strong

[Queenbug]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hello peeps! so sorry no contact...no internet, trying to do this quickly at friends house...Got my 10 day MOJO! Whhooppp!! So much I want to add to this thread, especially the later posts, totally resonates...sober sex frightens the crap out of me!!!
...did my date Saturday...went very well. Have lots to think about!
Stay strong my lovelies...proud of you xx

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hey all.. Thanks for the support!

Shue.. I can not blame anyone but myself for my slip up. No pressure or bullying from the peanut gallery. They would have not said a word if I came out with a smile and a water or cranberry. I have to put on my big girl shoes and say its allll me!

Blaming others is exactly what I would have done before! I choose. Bad or good. It's all me! the dam husband certainly is not helping 1 bit with his "why don't you just have drink comments"...

That takes me to the newest "sober sex" topic. Much easier when wifey is 1 bottle in.. isn't it! Thats been an issue here with me as well. Have to work through that one when we get back home.

My plan is to stay with 2 glasses a night while away (my choice) and back to AF once home.

Love you all...
I will check in later ... and sober ...promise

Enough!

[noxy]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hello everyone... Gosh I missed a whole lot ! Its been a long weekend here in sunny south africa... today is womans day .. so I got breakfast in bed from my husband! I am happy to report that I have come through this weekend without falling off the wagon ! E>>> Happy that you are back ... sure that you will get sorted once you get home ! Shue >>> I think orchids like a bit of acidity !!!! :H:H Fly>>> you doing so well my doll and I am right behind you on day 28 !!! SL >>> you have the right attitude and thats what got me to this day... a wee bit of a rocky road from time to time but just kept coming here to read and read .. mby>>> thanks for being so uninhibited .. feels good to confront some of the realities of my sobriety...my hubby such a good man... I am blessed ! Promise to post longer and more often got busy day,, holiday and kids need me so to everyone posting here.. happy tuesday ... lovies to all :l:h from noxy

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough, you certainly have your big girl shoes on!!! I just love how you can be so honest!!! Oh I can remember my holiday last year scouring the fridge and BBQ area for leftover wine, pretending to be tiding up. Why the compulsion to drink more and more after everyone else was done and gone to bed?

Noxy, it is sunny here too and extremely hot, we BBQ every night. Got myself a few AF beers and lots of Perrier. I am scared of even thinking about wine.

This morning I got another sugar low. Horrible !!! I only felt better at about 15:00. Granted, I watched what I ate all these days and did not touch simple sugars but it is now obvious to myself and my doctor that my body is craving the sugar hits from AL and I need to pay more attention to eating regularly. Another sobering moment !!! I was not drinking yet I was physically ill for trying to eat healthy.

I stupidly thought that EVERYTHING will just fall back in place as if by magic if only I stopped drinking. Well, I did and it is now painfully clear that I first have to repair the damage on so many different levels.
But I am still fighting !!!

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I lost my fight yesterday. I couldn't take the pressure of sober sex. For a man that has sex everyday 7 days was to long and I didn't want to fight so I had 1 shot of rum. After 7 days AF it hit me like a ton of bricks. 2 hours later I was asleep. when I woke up I was sick, all the symptoms of a hangover. I knew I could stop it all by doing another shot but I refused and decided to just ride it out. Head ache, dry mouth vomiting. My husband asked me how much I drank. I told him only 1 shot. I am not sure he believed me. I can tell you after that reaction I wont be doing that again! Now I have a whole new problem, He is upset that I feel a need to drink to have sex and that somehow he is not good enough.

[FlyAway]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Mby--Congratulations on having an AF party for your granddaughter! And who needs booze at a kid's party anyway? Nicely done on handling all of the comments.

Enough--I honestly think you've done surprising well considering how new to not drinking you are. The most important thing is that not drinking is still in the forefront of your thinking and is your goal. Good job.

Shue--I'm finding that I'm eating sugar like crazy too. Got to get a hold on this. I'm happy that you're doing so well.

SL--Congratulations on week 1. And I so agree with you that coming back here and trying again when you slip is a huge success.

Queen--Fantastic job on 10 days!

Noxy--So glad to see that you're doing so well. Women's day huh? Enjoy!

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

mby, it is not a lost fight, you only had one shot - and then you got a swift reminder of why you wanted to stop drinking in the first place. Talk it out with your husband, quitting AL without support at home is punishing yourself further.

I did not have the guts to tell my hubby I am an alcoholic (or any other family member). I think it can sound really scary when said out loud. I just said I need to cut down, had too much recently. He supported me. AF days became AF weeks and he no longer waits for me with a bottle of chilled white when I come back form work.