Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I realized today that I am not ready to give up on AL completely. During times of extreme distress I need this. I am keeping to my rule of 2 drinks and stopping. I have gained an enormous amount of control, over this but I have not beaten it.

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi Gang,

Last week was mad busy before my board meeting on Friday – I cut my stay in Vienna short (in order to avoid the dinner at a famous winery and the trip to 2 other wineries planned for Saturday … no point torturing myself with this much temptation). So, after the meeting my boss felt obliged to thank me by taking me for a glass of champagne. I graciously accepted. On the plane they offered me another glass of champagne. I graciously accepted (I thought they stopped offering AL on short flights, but I was in business this time). Well, I arrived home knackered and poured myself another drink, just like old times … this, of course just opened the weekend to more drinking.

Every relapse I had has lasted 3 days, it seems … My biggest challenge this week is incoming PMS, if I can do that AF I am definitely buying myself some Jimmys.

Enough, I thought of you throughout, how are you doing?

Mby – stopping at 2 is a great achievement, Wonderful news about the baby, I am sure your sister is watching over him like a guardian angel.

Scottish Lass - Well done, not letting the car go on autopilot, also, kudos for the 5:30

Juja – don’t beat yourself over the holidays, we have all sinned then. The important thing is to get back on track.

… and one more thing … here’s a pic from my last hike – decided to go hiking each Sunday with girlfriends + kids … this is keeping me sane with work being so demanding, also I cannot get shitfaced on Sat if I have to wake up early on Sun and hike like crazy … These glacier lakes were amazing.

Attached files [img]/converted_files/1667127=6409-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hello.
Just a quick post... Totally messed up this weekend with friends 40 th b-day party. Lots of wine... Lots of hangover Sunday. What a waste of a day. Kept sober yesterday even though I thought a few drinks would make me feel better. Just like the old rotten days; with the never ending cycle of doom.

Mb... Best of luck with your 2 glass plan...I am sorry you are so sad about your sister.

Shue... You are brave to pass up that great dinner!

I was ready to say fu** it... This is to hard! Here I am back.

Again!
Enough!

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

In case your memory faded a bit on all the things you get with excess alcohol ( as my mind apparently has)let me refresh your minds...

Bottle of Beer and 1 bottle wine- Friday

Missed son playing at game - got home too late was excuse
disappointment
husband shaking his head
me saying - fuc* this- whatever I drink
dry mouth

Saturday

Wake up late
Going to work
feeling less then 100%
around md afternoon thinking about sneaking a drink- don't
need to leave work early for party.. Think about sneaking again- don't
have stress attack because family is not ready to bolt out the door when I walk in
promise husband- tonight will not be a repeat of last time...
Only a couple glasses PROMISE.
... A quick glass before we leave the house left over from last nights bottle
... Arrive and quickly fill and refill and refill my glass again- in a matter of an hour all hopes of a sober eve out the window.

Several bottles later....

Can't remember leaving their house
packing up our stuff
the drive home
getting home and undressed

so thirsty drink water out of the bathroom tap around 3am
sandpaper Tongue
headache
shaking hands
wanting a drink " to make me feel better"

small blessing that no fightng with husband. I know this was a long post, but it had to be said.

Give me strength.
Enough!

[mby82266]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Sticking with the 2 drink rule. I am doing ok with it. I spend all day today writing papers and doing research for the next papers due. I managed to catch up on everything I let fall behind while I was drinking last week. Focus is my motto for today. I will not touch AL until I have everything for every class done and ready for class tomorrow, including studying for a test tomorrow.
Shu, I love the pic you posted. Its really amazing. The farm land of New Jersey is nowhere near that pretty.
Enough, we slip, we fall, we dust ourselves off and try again. Sometimes I think whats the point I will never win. Then I come back here and I make myself take control. Giving up is not an option! If it was easy then we would not need each other at all. I am not ready to give up so since I am feeling positive right now I am sending out all my positive vibs to you. You can do it! we can do it together all of us!!!!

[hadit]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Come on Guys where is everyone? This thread has gone quiet. Hope everyone is OK. Get back on track asap!! This was never going to be easy. We need to keep in touch. Have had lots of A/F days until lastTuesday night. Work with disabled kids,injured my back,lots of pain and pain drugs. And you guessed it, got home exhausted with pain and drank!! 5 or six glasses, just made me in the same pain the next morning and hungover as well!! :argh: Keep positive. Think of the really good feeling of being A/F Thanks for listening:thanks::thanks:

[Juja]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I'm back, and on Day 1 again.

I, too, was wondering where everyone was on several of the boards. Lots of MIA's. I guess it's a busy time.

Lots of struggles going on out there, so let's hang together.

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi lovelies,

Juja & boozer - you are right about the lack of activity.

For me I could easily put it down to being super busy but this is not it, really. I am in unchartered territory and feel like I need guidance now. I have a done a reasonable amount of AF time but still haven't hit this in the head. I feel like I am taking a step back now ... OK .. so I proved to myself I can stay dry, now I can drink.

Also, I don't know if I qualify to give advice - I only have encouragement and sharing my own experience.

the biggest improvement is finding a voice inside me that says, NO, you don't need this .. Really .. put that glass down !!! So for the past few nights I came home early for my son - then put a few more hours of work in the evening at home ... then, instead of going to bed, I'd watch a movie and have a drink or 2 at midnight ...

taking it one day at a time ...

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Mby, I am lucky living in this place surrounded by beautiful nature and Greece so very close. I take great pleasure in nature and plan to include it in t=my list of "things that calm me down"

Enough, my dear friend, I saw you last post and nearly cried. I hesitated to reply, lots of words in my mind but nothing really helpful or clever. Keep the honesty going!!! I love you for it.

I am a true workaholic these days, haven't shoe shopped in months (unheard of) and indulged less and less in AL.

keep the spirit going

[Juja]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Shue, May I come and visit you soon? Oh, the places you go! I loved you pictures! I want to post pictures, too, and I know it's got to be easy, but I'm not intuitive about computers. I'll play around with it sometime, when I'm willing to be frustrated.

Enough, Like Shue, your post made me ache for you. I swear, there's something in the air making us all a bit shaky. The husband look is one that makes me die inside.

Today's a day for me, with lots and lots of water, a manicure, and a day away from home and responsibities. The dust bunnies may have their way with the house, and the phone messages can pile up.

Check you all later.

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi guys!!!!

All I can say is I am here... I am really glad to see you made it back here too. I have gone through lots of wine since my last post. No AF days; just more of the same crappy stuff.

Can't seem to break the vicious cycle. I keep making promises to myself that I don't keep.

Need some help.
Enough!

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough, sweetie, here are my 2 cents:

Back in Jan, I decided to try this hypnotist locally ( after failing with the CDs) - he came highly recommended by people that gave up cigarettes. From the first meeting he told me that I am too hard with myself and that I should not give up AL until I find a way to deal with stress or eliminate its cause in my life. He said that giving up AL at this point will leave me with no way to fight stress and it will make it worse for me.

I left dissapointed - here I was, openly adimitting face to face to person ( not a doctor) that I have a problem with AL and he tells me to keep on drinking ??? WTF?

Lately I came to realize the actual message .. duh .. only took me 8 months. So I know I cannot eliminate the cause of stress, I tried to be easier on myself only to dissapoint myself further for my lack of results - in the end, the hardest thing for me right now is to find a way to calm down without hitting the bottle.

Tending to my begonias vs Sauv Blanc
hiking vs Sauv Blanc
It's like you have broken your leg and instead of injectable painkillers all you get is an aspirin.

I used to love that instantanious feeling of relief after gulping the first glass ... finding something else that works as quickly as that is not reasonable. Need patience ..

Sorry for the rant, Love from me,

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

juja ... get on a plane

one of my American friends here said about our country of residence ..."Most beautiful place in the world, really, too bad it is run by goats"

[hadit]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Juja,Enough and Shuaddict, How are you guys? Sounds like we are all struggling somewhat. I have had a shit of a week! Injured myself and of work with lower back pain.Filled myself with pain drugs and of course al........ Yuk! I work with abused kids, seriously, some parents should simply not be allowed to have children, they are incapable of looking after themselves let alone anyone else. Heading off into the outback camping for a few weeks so wont be around to post but will be thinking of you all.Will post again today later today. Have to fly to appointment (10.00 am in oz)

[Juja]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Still struggling, guys. Successful one day, blow it the next.

Enough, I hear you, sweetie, I hear you.....

Will try not to beat myself up today.

Have a good one all.