Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[lifechange]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

sd,
thank you for your personal reply. i haven't heard of that book, but will look into finding it.
i've also felt such a huge amount of guilt every time i've awakened startled at 3am to realize i have a small child next to me. my children, until now, have been too young to really get it, but my eldest daughter is almost the age i was when i realized something was very different in my family. i never wanted or was able to invite friends over, i could never count on her to remember what she'd said or promised-- i couldn't count on her being awake when i got home from school, and then i couldn't wake her up. i remember when i was a bit older asking her how she could choose to drink over her family. i of course didn't understand alcoholism. i feel such dread with the realization that if i don't stop i could put my girls through the same childhood my sister and i had.
now i'm feeling hope and strength in my decision.
i've been thinking about aa but i'm in a country where the meetings in english are far away and i only feel real speaking about this in my mother tongue.

i think one thing missing in my life is some sort of spirituality. something or someone i can pray to or meditate to. i'm stuck on how to find this. i've prayed out in the open for some sort of a sign, possibly in a dream, but nothing/noone has appeared.

i'd be interested to hear your experiences and those of others regarding finding a higher power or god(dess) or something different??

[Snapdragon]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi Everyone - happy Thursday and hope you're all feeling strong for the day ahead. Day 2 for me!!

Enough - how did you get on last night - I hope you managed to overcome your huge craving at dinner.

I went out for a meal with my partner last night and because I had offered to drive the option to drink was taken away. Again, tonight I am meeting up with friends for a drink in a pub - but I have offered to drive (I think everyone is shocked as I'm usually scrounging lifts so that I can drink!!) so once again the option to drink has been taken away.

I know that most people find social situations like this difficult when giving up AL - but I actually find it easier. Im a lone drinker and my witching hour is when I'm cooking - that's when I open the first bottle and generally carry on until I'm blotto!

One book recommendation is Alan Carr's Easy Way to Control Drinking. It is actually about how to give up alcohol completely by considering it a poison and totally put me off drinking when I read it before - I need to dig it back off the shelf and start reading again.

Best to you all

Snap x

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Good morning all! I am proud to annouce my day5!!!!!!!!!
Before I reply to some of you individually. Let me begin by saying last evening was tough! Thankfully there was no wine in my house because if there was I may not have been able to overcome the just one glass lie. Yes cooking for me I believe my #1 trigger. It's just feels like the right time... Great smells... Kids are usually playing. At one point I even reached for a corona in our outside fridge while getting the potatoes. I touched in and let go... Grabbed a blueberry ice tea (these are good).

Made it through dinner then had to get out of the house even though it was close to 9. Took my boys on a night walk around the neighborhood ( which they thought was cool) and we played I spy!

Ok all... I had fun with my boys WITH NO WINE!
Enough!

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Lifechange: glad to see you are doing well!

I am not religious so tough to answer your spirituality question. I believe in energy though positive and negative. I have been slowly stating to meditate for a few minutes when I need to chill.
I have been simply sitting on my exercise mat on my patio
breate in... Say I am strong
breate out... Say I am powerful

You can use any words you think would work for you.
Enough!

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Also welcome Done with poison! Much congrats on 14 days!
Enough!

[SpiritGirl]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Life Change - I really didn't have too many people ask about why I didn't drink. I anticipated it being a much bigger deal than it was. I guess most peole don't obsess about AL as much as I do! Ha ha. I hate when I'm drinking and the people around me don't! However, the few people who asked about it I just told them that I was really watching my weight ( and since I've put weight on lately due to my drinking and subsequent junk eating, this was believable!) I bought NA beer ( it has much fewer calories) and would pour it into a frosty mug. It was so worth it!

Felt a little less agitated last night. Now looking towards the weekend. I can't remember the last time I made it a whole weekend without alcohol. What is everyone's plan? Enough - what brand is the blueberry iced tea?

[New shoes]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi all. Congratations to eveyone on one more day! Day 4 here, and it's still pretty tough. I'm finding that breaking the habit of drinking feels worse than the actually craving. The ritual of popping the cork, reaching for my favorite glass, etc. Those are the things that have me really spinning at night. Does that part get easier??
Sleep is still just "ok". Hoping that improves soon too. But I keep reminding myself that it is still better than waking up with that horrible pain & regret.
I've started keeping a journal each morning. I write down how great it feels to not have a hangover, not feel ashamed, the things I've been doing now that I'm not so wiped out in the morning, etc. Then I read it at night to help get through.
Please keep sharing what works for all of you. I need many, many more tools in my box!
Good luck to everyone today. One day at time.

New shoes

New shoes

[DJL]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Congrats Enough on making it through last night. While only the people on this sight can understand how incredibly hard it is to get through those urges you know now you can do it. Maybe you should stop cooking for a while Keep it up we are all pulling for you.

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Funny I though of that DJL but the idea of fast food pretty much repulses me. And right now a restaurant would be to tempting seeing all those other people with yummy wine!

To Snap- yes the whole production of the uncorking and big crystal glass and swirling. Is hard to get past. I have to admit I can just as easily chug a bottle of nice Coppola claret out of a solo cup at this point without really tasting or enjoying it as it's gone pretty quickly.

Advise: put away all your wine gizmos. I hid my wine rack in guest room closet. Along with the corkscrew and other stuff, put other glasses in from of the reidels.

Out of site... Out of mind so to speak.
Enough!

[shueaddict]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Day 4 nearly over

Dear gals, I find sharing your thoughts like this really inspiring.

@ Enough! - I think we should call you "Enough positive energy to get us all through", I absolutely relish your enthusiasm. :thanks:

I have been very busy in work these days but have steered clear of the evening demons, despite increased stress. Checking on your posts as opposed to sneaking to the second fridge to my secret stash definitely helps. Since the last Sunday BBQ I still have half a bottle of white in the main fridge, untouched. I look at it each time I open the fridge and think of you. Thanks for the strength you're giving me.

Tomorrow I"ll go see my parents (lovely folks really) and have decided not drink. After so many times of drinking at social events only to prove that I can handle it, I think the first people to say no to to a drink to shall be my parents. I have thought about it all day and I'll just tell them that I've had too much recently and I need a break. I do not want to worry them; they have always been supportive of me no matter what my decisions have been (not study engineering, leaving the country, marrying an Irishman etc).

The big hurdle shall be the party on Saturday. It's my niece's 1st birthday and I am her Godmother. It is mendatory that I shall have a glass in my hand and raise it in her honor after my well wishing speach then clinck with all the guests. God give me strength not to drink it !!!!!

Good luck to you all, off home now and will be checking in later

[SpiritGirl]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Enough - you are so right about getting rid of all the wine and accessories. I will do that as soon as I get home from work today!

Shue - maybe you can put something in your toast glass so that you won't drink it - like a packet of salt and pepper or a bunch of sugar. Something unnoticeable but you know it's there. Just a thought! Good luck on Saturday!

I know Rome wasnt built in a day and every effort is worth it but I, for one, look forward to when not drinking will be the norm for me and not take so much energy to withstand. In the meantime I will keep on keeping on! Thanks for all your thoughts, experiences and input.

[sdlovespackers]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Snap-I also read the Alan Carr Book "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking"....I think that also helped to turn my thinking around about drinking. It really has been weird these (almost) 30 days...this time around I can honestly say I have had no cravings. I my mind I have it made up, I don't drink...plain and simple. No need to argue with myself, no need to play games with myself, no need to be frustrated...I'm choosing to be happy instead..it just makes sense!

Lifechange--gosh, spirituality is a tough one...since for each of us it's so different. Honestly I wish I were more spiritual...I go to church on Sundays (I do better during the school year)...but I wish I had a stronger sense of what spirituality was or was suppose to feel like (if that makes sense)??? I think you have to do what feels right for you...I'm guessing whatever you do can't be wrong if it's between you and your "high power".

Spirit--I'm with you...I was kind of surprised that people didn't notice more that I wasn't drinking AL....but yea, it just went to show how focused I WAS on my drinking AND everyone elses around me...they weren't!!!! WHen I was asked I told them I was on anti-biotics and couldn't drink....luckily I had a rash on my arm at the time I said it was for that??? I'm weird!!! :H

Enough!--I also love to cook and often times the recipe calls for wine....I've tried to stay away from those recipes for this month...(using the grill more)....I don't know if I'll just use the cooking wine or have to run to my mom's house (3 blocks away) and borrow a cup a wine every now and again??? I don't want to give up something I LOVE to do...thats for sure! BTW---awesome thread!!!

Well---I have to get moving---big hellos to everyone else!!
SD

[lifechange]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

so, enough, good on you for making it through last night!
good on everyone for making it as far as you have.
i'm at the end of day 2 and am so exhausted i don't know quite how i feel.
i've had the past 2 days at home without family or work -- it's probably been a blessing to have the time to be completely selfish in a positive way. i managed to spend about 6 hours today cleaning house! that was good.

until tomorrow!

[lifechange]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

shue,
i also want to send you strength for meeting with your parents!!

[Enough!]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Just on my way home and all I want is a bottle of wine !
Enough!

Walk me through the next hour please....