Good morning my lovelies, I have good news and bad news:
The Good ? I have found out I have a truly good friend ? I have told her a while ago I was staying off the booze and she has been quietly supportive ( ie. Offered me no wine and never asked me why I stopped). On Saturday she organized this big leaving party for our Irish friends and she showed me my special section in her fridge ? 2 six packs of AF beer. She said she did not want me to feel left out or questioned while everyone is holding drinks. I nearly cried.
It was a scorching day and I must have drank 2 liters of that stuff and watched everyone getting progressively more sloshed, getting in their cars and driving home. I helped with the clean up and took a few other merry friends in my car (that were considering driving) . Got stopped by the cops at 1 AM, breathalyzer test ? passed with flying colors and then the officer apologized that they had to do it although I looked OK because only 1 hour ago they stopped a foreign woman driving intoxicated with her merry hubby and 2 kids in the car, ?can you imagine?? he said. GOD GOD GOD !!!! That could have been one of my friends. WORSE ? this could have been me some time ago.
My hubby told me that he was very proud of me that night for sticking to not drinking ( ?. and not ending up with a DUI). And that he?d join me too on an AF holiday next week.
The Bad ? I woke up a bit tired but clearheaded on Sunday and while cooking I got the usual urge to drink. My defenses were on low after the success of the previous night and a little feeling of entitlement crept in (that damned AL devil is cunning putting novel thoughts in my head) . I considered my usual MO - sneaking upstairs and swigging gin straight from the bottle. NO ! No more drinking in hiding! I made myself a big G&T, complete with lemon strips and straw. Hubby encouraged me too. Then another ? then another . The gin finished thankfully ?I have to be honest and admit that I would have had a forth. I did not sleep that well and dreamt that I was thirsty. I am not completely mad at myself for slipping; this only goes to prove that I cannot control my drinking.
Wish you all a lovely week ...
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