Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?
i've been drinking for a while, about 9 years ago, is when I started drinking every day because I found I really liked it and it's effects, I was drinking before that also but, it was socially and occasionally and didn't really realize that I liked alcohol, just did it since everybody else was, at that time I was just getting buzzed but, eventually it made me feel 'good'.
In about 2005 I started drinking night and day, about a 1/4 liter of vodka, everywhere, from the moment I wake up, at work, at home, at night, even had a mixed drink next to my bed incase I woke, since I also have insomnia.
In about 2007 I heard about people getting physically addicted to alcohol, and DT's from trying to quit which scared me. I never really knew how bad it was for you except drinking and driving nobody seems to really talk about the other effects it has on you physically. Like on tv in commercials they show the effects of cigarettes, they show blackened lungs and pictures of people's teeth or faces after life-time of smoking, they talk about unprotected sex, aids, std's and show pictures in school but, they don't do any of that with alcohol, it's like you only really realize or find out when you get there or a doctor tells you when it's too late.
I tried quitting but, when I'm not drunk little things make me irritated and annoyed at everything, I get angry and also I can't sleep which is very frustrating. I've tried to quit before and cut down but, not being able to sleep was always a big issue.
I kept telling myself since 2007 that I need to quit but, just couldn't like there was another voice in me telling me it's ok. I got my 2nd DWI in 2008 I think, that made me stopped drinking during the day. Since then I've only been drinking at night but, every night and pretty much cut out hard liquor completely, I was able to cut down to 6-8 beers a night, with the occasional binge of 10 beers.
I think drinking has finally caught up to me in a physical sense that my stomach is all messed up now, I get severe heartburn and stomach aches.
My aunt also unexpectedly passed away last week, it shocked everybody and I knew she drank before from stories but, nobody knew how bad it was, well at the hospital the doctors said she had cirrhosis and said that could have contributed to her death, they were asking her husband questions and he did tell them she drank everyday. Her son is in the air force and was coming home that day to see her, took his entire leave off to spend time with her and was driving home that same night she passed away. They said she was in the kitchen cooking food for his dinner / arrival when it happened. My mom had spoken to her on the phone a couple hours before it happened, and it was like there was nothing wrong and everything was fine. Pretty sad.
The last night of not drinking for me was in Jan. or Feb of this year because the weather was so bad, it was snowing and sleeting and I happened to run out of beer that day so I couldn't go to the beer store. I tried valerian root tea to help me sleep but, of course it didn't help.
I'm trying to cut down and moderate again. I gave up trying to quit after I quit my job in 2008 because of stress, so a few years later I'm trying again since I'm not as depressed these days because things are starting to seem to get better business wise. I don't think I will be able to fully quit and honestly not sure if I want to, don't really want to get into the details.
So yesterday I went to the doctor to get Lunesta for my sleeping problem, wasn't sure if it was going to work because of all the other methods I've tried, melatonin pills, valerian root, ambien, over the counter sleep aids, nothing works for me.
I also remembered about non-alcoholic beers, because I really need something to do as i'm a complete loner I don't like going out or hang around family and friends, I just stay to myself all the time and drinking definately helped with that, having something to do to occupy myself, listening to music, watching tv etc. so I picked up Odouls non-alcoholic beer (I know it's not really non-alcoholic it has a very small amount like .5%).
Well, I had about 8 cans of Odouls last night and I think it's going to be a good replacement for me since it tastes fine to me like beer (I always drank cheap beer anyway so I don't notice much difference) without the effects of alcohol, and with the Lunesta I actually had a great nights sleep. I don't know what's going to happen if I'm going to build a tolerance to it or what, that's always happened to me in the past with all pills, even when I would use them recreationally that's how I never got addicted to pills since the tolerance builds so quickly.
So, today is my 2nd day (1st if you count intentionally) this year of not drinking, I feel fine right now, and clean and don't feel a craving (this is my witching hour usually). Even though I have real beer sitting in my closet just like yesterday, I'm confident I won't drink it tonight either and going to go with the Lunesta and non-alcoholic beer.
It just feels great to me that I might have a way out, might not sound that great to others as I'm still replacing the alcohol with other things rather than just being completely sober. Although it's the only thing I can see to help me not drink large amounts of alcohol every single day without feeling like I'm torturing myself. The lunesta gets me the sleep I need, and I like my sleep and the non-alcoholic beer giving me the taste of beer.
I was browsing this forum before and have posted before, considered waiting and continue drinking until I was ready to try the baclofen method but, I guess if I can get sleep at night and Lunesta keeps working and Odoul's being enough of a replacement for beer, it's fine with me.
i've been drinking for a while, about 9 years ago, is when I started drinking every day because I found I really liked it and it's effects, I was drinking before that also but, it was socially and occasionally and didn't really realize that I liked alcohol, just did it since everybody else was, at that time I was just getting buzzed but, eventually it made me feel 'good'.
In about 2005 I started drinking night and day, about a 1/4 liter of vodka, everywhere, from the moment I wake up, at work, at home, at night, even had a mixed drink next to my bed incase I woke, since I also have insomnia.
In about 2007 I heard about people getting physically addicted to alcohol, and DT's from trying to quit which scared me. I never really knew how bad it was for you except drinking and driving nobody seems to really talk about the other effects it has on you physically. Like on tv in commercials they show the effects of cigarettes, they show blackened lungs and pictures of people's teeth or faces after life-time of smoking, they talk about unprotected sex, aids, std's and show pictures in school but, they don't do any of that with alcohol, it's like you only really realize or find out when you get there or a doctor tells you when it's too late.
I tried quitting but, when I'm not drunk little things make me irritated and annoyed at everything, I get angry and also I can't sleep which is very frustrating. I've tried to quit before and cut down but, not being able to sleep was always a big issue.
I kept telling myself since 2007 that I need to quit but, just couldn't like there was another voice in me telling me it's ok. I got my 2nd DWI in 2008 I think, that made me stopped drinking during the day. Since then I've only been drinking at night but, every night and pretty much cut out hard liquor completely, I was able to cut down to 6-8 beers a night, with the occasional binge of 10 beers.
I think drinking has finally caught up to me in a physical sense that my stomach is all messed up now, I get severe heartburn and stomach aches.
My aunt also unexpectedly passed away last week, it shocked everybody and I knew she drank before from stories but, nobody knew how bad it was, well at the hospital the doctors said she had cirrhosis and said that could have contributed to her death, they were asking her husband questions and he did tell them she drank everyday. Her son is in the air force and was coming home that day to see her, took his entire leave off to spend time with her and was driving home that same night she passed away. They said she was in the kitchen cooking food for his dinner / arrival when it happened. My mom had spoken to her on the phone a couple hours before it happened, and it was like there was nothing wrong and everything was fine. Pretty sad.
The last night of not drinking for me was in Jan. or Feb of this year because the weather was so bad, it was snowing and sleeting and I happened to run out of beer that day so I couldn't go to the beer store. I tried valerian root tea to help me sleep but, of course it didn't help.
I'm trying to cut down and moderate again. I gave up trying to quit after I quit my job in 2008 because of stress, so a few years later I'm trying again since I'm not as depressed these days because things are starting to seem to get better business wise. I don't think I will be able to fully quit and honestly not sure if I want to, don't really want to get into the details.
So yesterday I went to the doctor to get Lunesta for my sleeping problem, wasn't sure if it was going to work because of all the other methods I've tried, melatonin pills, valerian root, ambien, over the counter sleep aids, nothing works for me.
I also remembered about non-alcoholic beers, because I really need something to do as i'm a complete loner I don't like going out or hang around family and friends, I just stay to myself all the time and drinking definately helped with that, having something to do to occupy myself, listening to music, watching tv etc. so I picked up Odouls non-alcoholic beer (I know it's not really non-alcoholic it has a very small amount like .5%).
Well, I had about 8 cans of Odouls last night and I think it's going to be a good replacement for me since it tastes fine to me like beer (I always drank cheap beer anyway so I don't notice much difference) without the effects of alcohol, and with the Lunesta I actually had a great nights sleep. I don't know what's going to happen if I'm going to build a tolerance to it or what, that's always happened to me in the past with all pills, even when I would use them recreationally that's how I never got addicted to pills since the tolerance builds so quickly.
So, today is my 2nd day (1st if you count intentionally) this year of not drinking, I feel fine right now, and clean and don't feel a craving (this is my witching hour usually). Even though I have real beer sitting in my closet just like yesterday, I'm confident I won't drink it tonight either and going to go with the Lunesta and non-alcoholic beer.
It just feels great to me that I might have a way out, might not sound that great to others as I'm still replacing the alcohol with other things rather than just being completely sober. Although it's the only thing I can see to help me not drink large amounts of alcohol every single day without feeling like I'm torturing myself. The lunesta gets me the sleep I need, and I like my sleep and the non-alcoholic beer giving me the taste of beer.
I was browsing this forum before and have posted before, considered waiting and continue drinking until I was ready to try the baclofen method but, I guess if I can get sleep at night and Lunesta keeps working and Odoul's being enough of a replacement for beer, it's fine with me.
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