Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

[Lola01]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hello aero, fly, dest, and others. Like I said, I an newbie and just waking up to day 2. I've got a plan to make a plan. Will drink some water, have a mega vitamin, do some errands, and get in 15 minutes in the elliptical. From all that I have read and all that I have experienced, I know thus will not be easy but I'm feeling strong right now. So glad this forum is here. Can't tell you how optimistic and Inspiring the testimonials are. Of course, I have many embarrassing stories that would surprise no one. I think more than anything I am sick of being a selfish coward. I want to do something difficutt and courageous and that is for me and everyone in my life that I love.
The social pyshcology of all this is complex and maddening. As I grow in sobriety, I hope to add something of worth to this discussion as I have read through much of the thread and it has already given me so much.
Gratefully,
Lola

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hey Patricia.....the capsules I take are 1,000 mg each. So I end up taking about 5,000 mg throught the day. There is another thread on here under Holistic Healing called L-Glut and I have talked to people on there. You may want to check out that thread....the people there are great and it's a nice place to throw around some ideas about supplements and to see whats working for everyone!

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Good morning Lola! I am so glad that you are finding this site to be helpful...it has been a life-saver to me! Enjoy your day 2 AF..sounds like you have it all planned out and that's great! Stay close and one day perhaps you will share some of your stories when you feel more comfortable here. It took me a looong time to do that but being brutally honest on here....which is something I have never done with anyone about my drinking....has helped so much! Enjoy your day!!!!!!

[aerojef]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Lola, we all have embarrassing stories to tell, I'm sure. Good luck today, stick to the plan and stay focused. I have to remind myself on occasion, "I will not drink today, no matter what!" and that seems to help a bit.

Here we go, Destiniey, Day 3!

[Lola01]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

So I'm feeling the need to stay close to this discussion board right now. I have spilled out the rest a my wine bottle. That felt good. I have another one downstairs though...maybe I'll do that tonight. Wine corks never been a problem for me..I buy cheap screw top wines...they are easier and faster to get into. Pathetic inst it?
I know I'll be ok today. I did something semi courageous and told my hubby that I am detoxing. I used those words bc I've told him too many times already thT I will stop drinking and I never have for more than a couple days. So this is sensitive territory. I really do feel different though. I don't think I've ever wanted to be sober so much. I find this community very helpful as well and talking about my woes and hearing others stories is transformative, I just don't hope I am getting my hopes up artificially.

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Lola.....that is awesome!!!! Spilling out the wine is such a strong thing to do and I am very proud of you! And no...you're not pathetic...I totally gave up putting my vodka into soda...took too much time....just drank it straight out of the bottle...as you can see we have all "been there..done that". That was an extremely courageous thing you did by telling your hubby....I did the same thing 2 mornings ago. Those words were so hard to get out of my mouth...I felt like a child again after being called down to the principles office...ugh. But now he knows and he is glad that I am on the right path now. Hang tough today and stay close!!!! We can do this!

[aerojef]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

I agree, dumping the wine was a huge step. I used to drink wine, then changed to cheap whiskey mixed with water. I dumped out my stash on the first day. When my wife said that was it, she wanted a divorce, that made me make the decision to fix this once and for all. I have been banished to the couch for an indefinite time, and my goal is to correct this downward spiral I'm in. I've done the same thing, stopped drinking for a couple of days, and then secretly drank a bit when she was at work but she could always tell that I lied about it when she came home.

I need to do this for me, change my life and hopefully correct this marriage before it's too late. It's so tough, I know! I'm sticking close to this board too, and we'll all help each other through it. You're so not alone! Hang in there.

[Lola01]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Thanks to you both. Dest...isnt it the truth. I feel like such a juvenile compared to my adult husband who doesn't have this problem. The asymmetries this promotes in terms of our feelings of relative worth and esteem become so exaggerated. Sometimes I resent that although I know I only have myself to blame and that he has been patient withme...probably far more patient than I have deserved...ah..then the guilt. This is definitely not a fun ride but I'm going to swallow hard now with some confidence that this is going to get easier. Aero..I've had the talk with my hubby more times than I care to imagine. I am sorry you are in that place and on the couch. I always found that if it was a condition imposed on be outiside of my will by my husband(I'm talking about the ultimatum) that that couldn't work or at least it never did for me. I just got madder at him and sadder with myself and e downward spiral continued, maybe it was myway of refusing tone controlled and not feel like the child I was acting like. I am glad to hear that you are feeling more confident than that. For instance, before now, I woukd not have been able to say what you said above about needing to do this and I woukd not have done it on a message board. You have already come a ways and don't lose sight of what you hav already accomplished. Yes...let's stay close and stick together. Yes...the famous secret drink that never turns out to be so secret was an issue for me too..well..all of us. I'll be standing by.
Smiles,
Lola

[JonSnow]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi all! Starting again. I have been trying to be af for a long time very unsuccessfully. Hopefully posting here and reading will make me feel accountable. Anyone else starting today?

[aerojef]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi Jon! I was starting to feel like the only guy around here. Some of us are on Day 3 or so today, so we're all very close in starting this project.

If you're looking for accountability, if you drink too much, (no offense) than it's probably you. Like myself and the rest of us here, we were 90% or more responsible for the problems created in our lives - naturally brought on by our AH. I'm learning that the hard way I guess, but this enlightenment in the last few days has really opened up my eyes.

One day at a time, and keep marching forward!

Let us know how you're doing, and keep us posted.

[Lola01]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi Jon. I'm starting.. Tomorrow willbe day 3!
I'll chat ya up if that is helpful. I need a plan for tomorrow. Knowing I'll come across my trigger of the drive home after work. That's my hard time. Any ideas? I tink tomorrow that will power will get me thru the day. Don't think that will last long though. Plan for now is to use a cognitive strategy. Try to remember why I made this decision in e first place and how close to death I felt just a few days ago...yuck!
Smiles,
L

[aerojef]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Lola, do you have any supplements yet? If so, some Glutamine and Kudzu right before you get off work would go a long way to curbing the craving. Just a thought...

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Lola...I can sympathize with what you're going through. The last time I went AF for 17 days on May 22nd...when I was on day 3 I had to pass 2 liquor stores on my way home. I managed to get past the 1st one and was talking myself into not pulling into the parking lot of the other one and I was holding onto the wheel soo tight that I was literally white knuckling it!!!!! It was sooo hard....but I did it! The rest of my drive home was like 40 minutes and all I could keep thinking was how I had NO vodka in the house and what the hell I was going to do when I got home. Then I kept thinking about all the advice I had read on here...all the people that were cheering me on and supporting me here...and I couldn't stand the thought of coming on here and posting that I was on day 1 again!!!! A girl on here that I have been talking to since the beginning, K9, she told me that "A craving doesn't last as long as a hangover." I knew I didn't want to wake up feeling like crap. I came on here and I was surrounded by sooo much encouragement. The craving passed and I felt soooooo proud of myself! You can do this....and like Aero said bring your L-Glut and Kudzu with you.

[Destiniey]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi Jon and welcome! Aero is so glad that there is another guy on here....he has been surrounded by women! Ha! My day 3 AF is winding down so we are pretty close on AF days here. You will find this place is so helpful...the people are awesome and the advice is great. It's also nice to know that you're not alone! Looking forward to hearing more from you!

[patricia]

Conquoring day 1!!! Who's beating this with me?

Hi all, I like that, "a craving doesn't last as long as a hangover". Must remember that. On day 4 now and my only objective is not to have a drink today. Good luck all. Px