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    Pity party

    We all have days when the bad things seem to outweigh the good ones and we begin to think that life isn?t fair. You get stuck in traffic, which makes you late for an important meeting, and then your car gets towed. You might ask yourself, ?Why me?? Events like this one can test anyone?s ability to be grateful and feel optimistic. If you have a tendency to feel sorry for yourself, and many of us do, things usually progress to the next stage: the pity party. You begin to feel like the innocent victim of a dismal fate because you are seeing your life through inaccurate lenses. Most of the thoughts that run through your mind at times like these are not helpful, and they mainly serve to increase your indignation and feelings of powerlessness. What these feelings and thoughts don?t do is change your circumstances or make you feel better.

    When you have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them. It?s important not to pretend that you are fine with things when you aren?t. It?s also important, however, to notice when you?re having a pity party. It?s a good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself. Having a friend witness you during this process can be helpful. You may also want to write about your feelings. When your time is up, let go of the negativity you just expressed. You can declare your intention to your friend. If you?ve written down your feelings, you can burn the piece of paper or throw it in the recycling bin.

    Try not to dwell on unpleasant experiences and do everything you can to avoid holding on to negative emotions. When you indulge in self-pity, you only make a bad day worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, release the notion that you are a victim, and notice the good that exists in your life.:goodjob:


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    #2
    Pity party

    mario;1146921 wrote: When you have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them. It?s important not to pretend that you are fine with things when you aren?t. It?s also important, however, to notice when you?re having a pity party. It?s a good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself.
    I loved this Daily OM message! I thought the time limit was particularly good as it is easy to get stuck in victimhood about a situation.

    Did you see the one about Worry the other day?
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

    Comment


      #3
      Pity party

      Hi Mario, Greenie, and all to follow,

      I had a pity party of my own a couple of weeks ago. Nothing major, well, ok, it was important enough for me to post about it on this site. All good now, and my little PP lasted a couple of hours. But expressing my then frustrations here, and just letting it out by writing about it helped me release it. My feelings were acknowledged by other folk's here, and it felt good that i'd expressed myself, and was heard. I wasn't after a solution, just an outlet really, in hindsight.

      Writing about our worries, and/or talking about them to someone, in my experience is a huge benefit, and very under rated.

      G-bloke.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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        #4
        Pity party

        greeneyes;1146965 wrote: I loved this Daily OM message! I thought the time limit was particularly good as it is easy to get stuck in victimhood about a situation.

        Did you see the one about Worry the other day?
        Yep greeneyes I get them sent everyday to my email there great


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

        Comment


          #5
          Pity party

          Great post, Mario! Life is too precious to be down, discouraged or feel sorry for ourselves, someone always has it worse. I try to treat every day, every second as a precious gift from God and make sure my friends and family know how much I love them and then, I try to help others. Focusing on others instead of yourself will change your whole outlook on life! I agree talking about your emotions and getting out all your frustrations is very beneficial, especially if you have friends who understand. THANK GOD FOR THIS WEBSITE WHERE I HAVE MADE SO MANY CLOSE FRIENDS! Love, Vicki
          I'm not what I should be, I'm not what I could be. I'm definetly not who I want to be,
          but I'm sure not who I used to be!

          There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.

          "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Phil 4:13

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            #6
            Pity party

            Great message Mario and it really got me thinking about yet another benefit to no alcohol. In the past when I was drinking I would stew over just about anything. Some stupid driver would have me angry for half the day for example. Now as a sober person I just let all of that go and in the evening I'm not all tangled inside with the day's frustration, rather I find myself relaxed.
            2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

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              #7
              Pity party

              This makes good sense to me...
              ...peace and quiet....and a cup of tea.....heaven:h

              Comment


                #8
                Pity party

                wonderful advice!
                Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

                Comment


                  #9
                  Pity party

                  Thank you Mario.
                  IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                  Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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