Help - Fell off the Wagon!

[WineSucks]

I had 10 days under my belt and blew it last night. I'm so upset. I don't know what got into me....I had the house to myself and foolishly thought that having a glass of wine while I'm relaxing would be okay and that I could stop at 1. I know better! Over a bottle and a half later, it hit me (yes, while I was intoxicated) what I was doing and I stopped. But today is a bad day. I have a hangover, called out sick to work and am drinking hot lemon water to try to get the toxins out of my body. I feel like crap. I think that I have underestimated my problem and I need to do something different. As soon as I get it together, I'm going to the pharmacy and buying some milk thistle and l-glutamine. I'm not sure what else to do....I'm so sick of having Day 1's....I can't keep doing this. The same old patterns and triggers keep repeating themselves and this is really bad for me. I need to do something different!

[Tipplerette]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Hey Wine Sucks, you are doing what we all do and have done. I just started a thread in General Discussion called "Did 17 days in June and Miss the Feeling". It has become a thirty day A/F and it just started. Why don't you come over and join us (Ex) Winos. We will get your mojo back. I am only on day two. That "just one won't hurt.." is a pretty tricky ploy that our talking wine bottle plays on us. I am on to him now... It's your Day one and you are surrounded by like-minded friends.

Tips

[FlyAway]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

I'm so sorry. But it's great that you had that moment of clarity where you realized what you were doing. You made it a third of a month without a drink! Your body must have been thanking you for giving it a break. Ten days without drinking is much much better than drinking every day. So you've improved and gotten stronger and learned some things. Sounds like idle time can be dangerous time. I know all about calling in sick to work. I'm ashamed to think of how much I've done that. Amazing I still have a job.

I'm proud of you that you came here and admitted you drank. I'm proud that you're ready to get back on the horse and start the ride over again. I'm sure that those with more experience will be here to give you strategies, but I'm here to offer my support and positive energy to you. :l

[shueaddict]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

WineSucks ? I feel very very sorry that you?re feeling so low. You are only human !!! The important thing is that you?re not giving up. Keep trying until it works.

If it makes you feel any better, you are my inspiration and what got me to post in the first place. And I really appreciate your honesty, especially now , sharing that you have fallen of the wagon. You lost one battle but not the war. You are still honest with yourself and recognize where you are.

Dust yourself up and get back in the game.

Dinking when there is no one in the house, just to relax is one of the habits I am trying to break as well. God, the feeling of entitlement to that 1 drink!!! Lying on the coach, glass in hand ?

Thank you , for reminding me not to get any stupid ideas and try wine ( I am alone ALLLLL week).
I'll pray you get out of this stronger . ray:

Big hug !!!

:goodluck:

[WineSucks]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Thank you both so much for the support. Tips - I'll join you in your thread...I'll do anything at this point to stop the madness. I've tried AA and honestly, it didn't work for me. I'm going to try the supplements that everyone has been recommending. I'm so scared and of course, I'm crying......I need to get back up and try again. I honestly can't keep doing this to myself. I need to take some drastic action that I haven't tried before. I feel like maybe I've been in denial about the level of my issue and I need to surrender to the fact that I am an alcoholic and that i can never drink again....not even 1. I need to stop being mad about the fact that I can't drink like a normal drinker and accept my situation for what it is....I just can't.

[WineSucks]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Shue - thank you as well. I need to get off my self-pity ass and get moving. I just wish I felt better physically.....I've got a headache! I was so embarrased to come here and post this but I have to be honest....I've been lying to everyone else, including myself and it's time to get real.

[Barbara1234]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Hi WineSucks,

I can't tell you the number of times over the years that I did the same thing. I actually really did think that I could drink one glass as originally planned. I went into it with good intentions as you did. It's really not our fault, but realizing that we have a problem is fabulous.
Have you read the MWO book? The book was ok and many points were brought up to help me realize that all of the things I was going through were not new, and that so many other people were going through the same thing. This was both helpful and comforting to me.
But.......and there is always a but (:bum :H sorry!
Anyway for me the real anchor to my sobriety so far were the MWO CD's. They are hypnotherapy CD's and I listen to one of the two subliminal CD's every night as I fall asleep. All you hear is a soothing sound of water flowing, or the ocean but there is a voice speaking to you that you can't hear and it hypnotizes you, actually reprograms your brain to stay away from AL.
This is what has worked for me. Maybe you should give them a try. I understand there are many subliminal AL fighting CD's on the market if you want to research them. For me this is the least painful way to grasp the beast. Good luck, and I hope you are feeling much better. :l

[looking for peace]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Wine Sucks, I agree, you should be proud of those 10 days. I'm sure all of us can relate to the feeling "just one, I can handle it this time". That's the addiction speaking wanting to be fed, trying to talk the rational person in you to have a drink. Out of the thousands of nights I have been drinking (since I have been "problem drinking") I can count the times I have had just one drink on 2 hands. I know because those occasions really stick out in my mind. 10 out of a few thousand..... That's not very good odds. I as well am joining Tipp in 30 days AF. Good luck to you!

[FlyAway]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

WineSucks;1150207 wrote: Shue - thank you as well. I need to get off my self-pity ass and get moving. I just wish I felt better physically.....I've got a headache! I was so embarrased to come here and post this but I have to be honest....I've been lying to everyone else, including myself and it's time to get real.

Don't be embarrassed. Lord knows we've all been there. The important thing is that you didn't stop posting and you're still trying to get this under control. Like Shue said, you were her inspiration and it was your AF for 30 days thread that got me posting too. I said it to someone else on this site, even if you're screwing up you don't know whose life you're making an impact on. The only way you could let people on this site down would be by not posting any longer. We all learn by one another's triumphs and failures.

[Turn Around]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Get out a pen and paper and write EVERYTHING you are feeling, especialy physicaly. Then take that list and put it up somewhere where you will see it daily. It has helped for me and I use this tip that another person shared that helped them.

It takes great courage to post that you have drank, and the honesty when you say that you really did think you were ok with having just one glass. Keeping things a secret only feeds power to it.

10 days is a great accomplishment! Think of it this way, you went 10 days and learned a lot in those days. They were not a waste at all just because you ended up drinking. Your number of days may be starting over BUT you have an upper hand this time. Make day 11 your goal! When (not if) you reach that, then pretend you are starting at day 1 again and do it all over.

[Queenbug]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

WS...just seen this...have just been on some other threads saying "Goddam...what the f*** is wrong with me? Just got 10 days done and what do I do? Chuck down 2 LARGE glasses of wine (I actually mean 2 chuncky great TUMBLERS of red!!)...feel crap (again)...but y'know what? I'm just going to do at least another 10 days from now..today...I can do it...WE can do it...you and me have done it together...shall we do it again together?
You have kept me going...I'm here if you need/want....as, I suspect are so many others :wave:
Big love xx

[WineSucks]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Queen....I'm with ya, so let's do this! I HAVE to get at least 30 days in. I honestly don't think I can go 10 days AF then do this to myself again. It was AWFUL...I was so sick today. So I'm back on board with everyone and I am BLESSED to have the support of everyone on this site. Thank you so much for helping me not to feel like a complete looser.

On another note....I went out and bought Evening Primrose and L-Glutamine. Not sure how much of the L-Glutamine I should be taking per day....the tablets are 500 MG so if anyone has any advice on this I could use the help.

Thanks Everyone!

[Mia]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

HI wine sucks I just posted back to you on my day 55 AF! xxx

HI TIPPS! Glad to have you back xxx

[Doggygirl]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

Hi Winesucks. Good that you recognize the problem can be bigger than we think. Since you are considering changing up your game, why not follow a proven program? I started with the My Way Out program (every bit of it except the prescription drugs) and that got me going in the right direction - others have successfully stopped on the full program too. Milk thistle and l-glut is such a minute part of the whole program.

AA can be a successful program. (I love it)

SMART Recovery can be a successful program.

Women for Sobriety can be a successful program.

The people in the meds section are working together on a couple of different successful programs.

I guess my point is - why not start with something that at least is proven to work some percentage of the time as a "program" rather than just figure it out on your own one thing at a time?

All the best to you whatever you decide. If there is one regret I have, it's all the years I spent diddling around trying to decide if I had a problem or not. I'm lucky to be alive.

DG

[Clover]

Help - Fell off the Wagon!

WS, I did get the supplements and have been taking them. I truly believe it helps with the cravings.

I understand about AA; I tried it, too, and I've vowed that if I get really desperate and coming here doesn't help, I'll give it another shot. But I'm somewhat shy and introverted and those meetings make me anxious and nervous. However ... any port in a storm; I like to just remember it is an option.

Keep trying and I will, too! I do want to thank you for starting the "30 day" thread. It was the first time I really started opening up here. I just can sense that you are strong enough to do this!