Hello again

[Seen the light!]

Hi everybody

I've been reading the posts for the last few weeks or so now - i really enjoy reading about everybody's journeys. I first joined mwo a few years ago and am never far away I'm always dipping in an out of this site. I have not managed to stay AF for more than around 10 days in the last 10 years or more but now feel ready to put my all into getting through the next 30 days af.

I hope that with the support of this site I will be able to achieve this (and of course my own determination!) and look forward to sharing this along the way - congrats to all of you who are well on the way in your own journey's!

Day 1

[Treya]

Hello again

Hi Seen the light,
Welcome from another beginner on the journey!
I am only 14 days into my 30 days AF so I'm sharing your excitement.
I'm finding it helpful to post every day somewhere on the site and read other posts.
There is such an incredible level of suppoirt and understanding here as I'm sure you've noticed.
Best wishes to you on your journey,
Treya

[FlyAway]

Hello again

So happy that you're here and sober! Just keep on trying and don't run away if you slip! We will pull you back up and help you get started again.

[Lavande]

Hello again

Hello & welcome back Seen the Light!

You already know this is a good place
Don't forget to use th ehttps://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html to help you make a good plan for yourself.

Wishing you the best on yoiur journey!

Lav

[Turn Around]

Hello again

Hi There :hallo:

With support and reading different posts with encouragement I've managed to stay 22 Days AF, along with suppliments and other Tools this site provides. Still going and looking forward to Day 30 and more!

There is so many great people going through similar experiences and the non judgement is an added bonus. Everyone is so supportive.

[Seen the light!]

Hello again

Thank you for your kind messages - I am starting Day 3 today - I didn't post yesterday as I was out from early in the morning until late at night as I took my kids to a theme park - we had a fantastic day.

I am feeling ok but I don't drink every day anyway (probably 3-4 days out of 7 most weeks with a massive binge at the weekend) One of my biggest fears now and when I have half-heartedly attempted this before is that most of my friends and family are big drinkers. Does anyone have any tips on how to handle this in the early days - do I stay away? I know this may sound selfish but the biggest obstacle I have found in the past is that I can say no to a drink but to sit and watch them slowly get drunk is what I can't bear.

After just writing that I'm thinking of how my kids have watched me do exactly the same thing over and over - not a nice thought at all...

Any advice would be welcome and on a more positive note I'm going to keep myself busy today doing something useful!!

[life...take2]

Hello again

Hi Seen the LIght!

So good to see/read your posts. In the book, 12 Stupid Things that mess up Recovery, by Allen Berger, he writes that the recovering alcoholic must be as super/hyper vigilant and as pro-active in being sober as the addicted self is cunning in making decisions to back to drinking. IMHO, if you don't think you can handle being with social/heavy drinkers because they will compromise your decision to be AF, then you should make up some excuses to stay away. Or, if you decide to go, go armed with some good excuses:

Watching my weight,
Thanks, but trying to get healty,
No thanks, cutting back on that stuff,

LIek you, I come from a family where alcohol (abuse) is socially accepted behaviour so I had to learn to say no. When pushed [and unfortunately, some drinkers sometimes act like drug pushers], I would say, "No thanks, I've watched that stuff hurt to many people in my life." Nobody wants to touch that and they back off.

You hinted in your post what many of us are painfully aware of: alcholism is a social and family disease. Many of us learned the bad/unhealthy behaviour of addiction from our parents and loved ones. Maybe your best defense before you take that drink is to remember your OBSERVANT and IMPRESSIONABLE children who look to you as a role model. Show them that life is good and enjoyable without the poison.

Peace to you! :welcome:

[Seen the light!]

Hello again

Thankyou life...take 2 - I love your name by the way it just sums up what we are all trying to do here!

You are right about the family/friends situation and how you somehow end up sucked into being one of them. My mum has had a problem with drink which was worst around the time that my kids were born and at that time I remember thinking that I'd never be like that and here I am heading down the same route! She's controlled herself a bit now but she still drinks on a daily basis - I do not want to be her!!

I need to think about the situations I put myself in and need to plan how I am going to deal with them before I go, or just not go at all.

I'm finding myself thinking about future events and how I might deal with them when they arise without drinking and this is a dangerous thought - I must deal with one day at a time and not look to the future.

Good luck to everyone xxx

[TheDudeAbides]

Hello again

I have found that if I allow myself the slightest bit of doubt, I will drink.

If I enter a room where I know people are drinking and I don't make it a point, right away, to decline a drink and get something non-AL, I will drink.

Of course, the easiest thing is not to put oneself in that room in the first place, but that isn't always a realistic option.

The more I keep my intention of sobriety to myself, the less likely I am to stay sober. Accountability, early and often and publicly, is key for me.

[Queenbug]

Hello again

Welcome Seen the Light...stay close here...it REALLY helps! - what you said here.....
'You are right about the family/friends situation and how you somehow end up sucked into being one of them. My mum has had a problem with drink which was worst around the time that my kids were born and at that time I remember thinking that I'd never be like that and here I am heading down the same route! She's controlled herself a bit now but she still drinks on a daily basis - I do not want to be her!!'
...could be me....except my mum drank all through our adolescance disasterously with huge consequences....totally screws me now to think about it and I remember my teetotal self until my mid 20's...can't imagine that now..and the reply that Life Take 2 said including the bit about our own observant and impressionable children really hit home to me...plus gave me a shove to stay with this!!! Thank you Life 2!!!
You are in good company...stay with it matey! x