Afraid

[SarahJane]

Afraid

Hey Daisy,
We are in this together! Excellent work on pouring the wine away.
I too must get onto the L-Glut.
The most important thing is to keep on trying & to keep coming here & posting. You really want to stop so you will. When I eventually stopped smoking- I know it is very different- it took me years of stopping & starting. Then something eventually clicked & I realised how stupid it was. Now I feel so sorry for anyone who smokes. I am trying to do the same thing with AL- not to feel like I am missing out.
Do what ever it takes to prevent & get rid of the cravings.
I know you can do it.

As they say on the packet- 'if symptoms persist see your doctor' - don't assume your health problems are AL related. If you have a caring doctor go to them & get a check-up. If you don't, then find a good one who can help you to get to your goals.
Take care & check back soon. We are all here for you.

[life...take2]

Afraid

Daisy, SarahJAne, Turnagain,

Reading all your posts reminds me of how insidious this disease is - how it doesn't let go, but how it is possible to break free.

Turnagain's post reminds me of my early sobriety. Anytime I got a craving, I would put something GOOD in my system. I had a good supplement/vitamin schedule [still do]: L-GLut, milk thistle, vitamin C, B-50 complex, alpha lipoic acid, multi vitamin, chlorella--- when the witching hour came, I loaded up on nutritious drinks: Glucerna [which helped with sugar cravings], Amazing Grass Green Superfood which helped alkanize blood, herbal teas, green tea and white tea, dandelion root tea [super good for liver] zero vitamin H20--- stayed away from sodas, diet drinks w/chemical sweeteners, but just pounded the good stuff.

I felt like I was FINALLY fighting back the disease that wanted to poison my body and kill me. And I won ---- every day when I had the urge to destroy myself, I countered and filled myself with nutrient dense food and drink. I wanted and still want to drown every cell in my body with life protecting fluids instead of poisoned sugar that was altering my brain and compromising every major organ of my body. I felt like I was stomping out the beast within and doing my body and soul a world of good.

Make a plan, be vigilant b/c it is life and death, look for support here and with people close to you so you don't go at this alone, and meet a craving head on with super healthy foods/drinks. You lose nothing but gain everything.

let's do this together!

[daisy45]

Afraid

To say I am overwhelmed by your response would be an understatement. Thank you all so much for taking time out of your day to care!
Turnagain welcome to MWO! I dont know what I would have done without these wonderful people over this past 9 months. It has been a lifeline!
Well, here I am at 10pm. I simply dont have any cravings tonight. My body has taken such an alcoholic battering this week. I look forward to the morning as I know tonight will be a difficult one. I'll sit up very late so that sleep will have no choice in the end.
Lav there is still numbness, but during my heavy drinking periods I would often have areas that would stay numb or have pins and needles for a few days at a time. It always worried me. I also had dry round patches that resembled eczema over my legs and arms. All of this disappeared as soon as alcohol did.
Today was scary because I never had it on my face before and then my arm and hand had pins and needles. That, and the anxiety that builds when drinking, left me taking the panic attack. It takes a lot out of you and my body is exhausted.
So want to get past these first few days. Sarahjane, good to hear from you. It'll take me a couple of days to get back exercising. Hope alls well with you.
Cmhguy and Mumofsix, good luck with clocking up your AF days. Let this be it for all of us!
:thanks::thanks::thanks:to all of you. You pulled me out of a big hole today.:h

[daisy45]

Afraid

To say I am overwhelmed by your response would be an understatement. Thank you all so much for taking time out of your day to care!
Turnagain welcome to MWO! I dont know what I would have done without these wonderful people over this past 9 months. It has been a lifeline!
Well, here I am at 10pm. I simply dont have any cravings tonight. My body has taken such an alcoholic battering this week. I look forward to the morning as I know tonight will be a difficult one. I'll sit up very late so that sleep will have no choice in the end.
Lav there is still numbness, but during my heavy drinking periods I would often have areas that would stay numb or have pins and needles for a few days at a time. It always worried me. I also had dry round patches that resembled eczema over my legs and arms. All of this disappeared as soon as alcohol did.
Today was scary because I never had it on my face before and then my arm and hand had pins and needles. That, and the anxiety that builds when drinking, left me taking the panic attack. It takes a lot out of you and my body is exhausted.
So want to get past these first few days. Sarahjane, good to hear from you. It'll take me a couple of days to get back exercising. Hope alls well with you.
Cmhguy, good luck with clocking up your AF days. Let this be it for both of us!
:thanks::thanks::thanks:to all of you. You pulled me out of a big hole today.:h

[Turnagain]

Afraid

I am grateful to all of you....we are in this together.

I'm heading out to the garden now, to get my hands in the dirt again and pull those weeds that took over while I was too busy drinking.

Tomorrow, I'm going to treat myself to a couple big pots of Dinner Plate Dahlias. I saw them the other day at the nursery and thought - gee those are kinda expensive. Today, I realized I would've already spent the same amount on beer, wine and smokes in 3 days.

[Queenbug]

Afraid

Hya Daisy...good to see you a little stronger...lately I regularly stay close to MWO in trickier times...on the sofa, duvet days, just getting through minute by minute....real sense of sticking together and getting through....big big hugs to you...take good care of yourself...

xx

[daisy45]

Afraid

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Life take2, thanks for all the info on supplements. That is my plan for tomorrow - a visit to the health store and stock up on supplies.
Queenbug, yes, feeling a lot better tonight. I dont think I have spent so much time in one day checking in to MWO - I will keep on doing so as often as I need to.
My children go out with their dad tomorrow so looking forward to having the house empty to get into the hypno CDs. My L-Glut is by my bed so that it is the first thing I do in the morning. I will also either get a walk or a swim in. Check in with all of you. This is my plan for tomorrow. I NEVER want to feel the way I did today - EVER!
I may fear whats ahead, but I fear the alcoholic life I have been living even more. So as far as moving forward in my new AF life goes I will 'feel the fear and do it anyway!'

[Queenbug]

Afraid

Yesterday I struggled SO hard...and spent practically whole day on here...went really mad with all the 'smilies' too! Nuts! Got me through though and that's what counts eh?
Stay strong Daisy...and close...here for you x

[WineSucks]

Afraid

Daisy....good to see you back here. I'm afraid too and I think it's normal but I also think the fear is that little voice trying to push us to the bottle (because that's where it's always led me), so we have to FIGHT the fear and eventually it will go away. Good job pouring the poison down the sink! I found some of those little bottles of wine that I had "hidden", and you would have thought I had seen a mouse....it freaked me out! I grabbed then, opened them, dumped them down the drain and then took the trash out. It really does help to get the AL out of the house. It's the end of Day No. 8 for me and I'm going to get 30 days....but I have read posts from others who had 30 or 60 days then thought they could drink and it started the whole freakin cycle all over again...and that scares me.

Turnagain - 5 days no smoke, no drink.....AWESOME! I loved your post, it was so reflective. You have come to the right place....these people are incredible. Especially the Senior Members who log on here everyday and are such an inspiration and support for those of us that are in the early stages of our struggle.

Stay here with us.....we can do this!

[daisy45]

Afraid

Hi Winesucks; well done on your 8 days. You have just said what I am thinking - about getting the AF days and relapsing. I want to be AF for life and because I have everything ready this time and I will follow through on it all, there is a fear of relapse, then what happens next?
But the more I think about it, that is falling into 'negative thinking' and 'you are what you think you are'. So from here on in those thoughts are banished. We will do this one minute, hour, day at a time......I will do whatever it takes to live a sober life, no matter what........
The time I have been here so far has been an education and now it is time to put it to good use!
Queenbug,looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few days.......I'm not going anywhere far from MWO!
Its 3am here - dont need a lot of sleep anyway but after my "binge" will take a few days to get back to normal.

[WineSucks]

Afraid

Daisy - Go to Women for Sobriety. There are 13 Statements there that are very empowering and it has helped me. Let me know what you think if you get on there. There are also some good articles that have helped me....some things I've never really thought about before. Like some of the senior members have advised....we have to have a plan and we have to do the work, so I'm starting there. We will have good and bad days, we just need to be prepared for the bad ones!

[FlyAway]

Afraid

Daisy I'm so glad that you made it over the hump. One minute, one hour, one day. You will do it.

[Turnagain]

Afraid

Yes...I know what it's like to hang out nearly all day here....clinging to the hope and wisdom that so many have shared!

Looking forward to tackling Day 6.

[Turnagain]

Afraid

Ah...WineSucks...you're another whose courage offered me great inspiration in getting through my latest and last - I hope - Day One. I had no choice but to stop smoking. It goes hand in hand with my drinking...be it beer or wine.

You gave me a chuckle about your reaction to finding those little bottles. I understand! I found a bunch of decent butts today while I was cleaning up the deck. I couldn't run inside fast enough to douse them with water. Found half a beer too. Even the smell of it going down the drain made me feel nauseous.

[daisy45]

Afraid

Hi Winesucks and Turnagain and Flyaway, thanks.
After all my talk about sticking with MWO, today it has been impossible. Had to attend to urgent family stuff all day so havent been home. Got back about 8pm then visitors. Then went to use my notebook. Problems with network. SO finally I've got here. On my daughter's PC. Phew!

Anyway, even though I didnt get to do my plan as intended, still managed Day 2 unscathed. Done my sleep CD last night and L-Glut. Definitely drinking thoughts when all visitors here but OK. Will keep at it tomorrow.:thanks::l