Did I drink?
If not, today is a good day. End of story.
L-glutamine definitely helped with cravings today. I get a "buzzy" feeling from it, which is not at all unpleasant.
AL has always existed in a bubble for me. I'm careful with money, but would always spend money on AL even when I wouldn't spend it on anything else. My diet is usually fairly stringent; yet I'd drink a bottle of vodka and that somehow wouldn't be part of the equation of how I was treating my body. AL has always been exempt from all the rules and standards to which I held the rest of my life. I've been willfully blind, shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic, paying attention to a thousand little details that ultimately don't matter much while the one gigantic, obvious, looming disaster has gone unattended to.
No more. Today I ate chocolate and tortilla chips. My brain tells me that I've screwed up, that that's unacceptable. So silly. I'm 6', 185 pounds, strong and a runner. I'm in great shape. And even if I wasn't, you know what?
Chocolate and tortilla chips are not going to be the near, medium or likely long term death of a healthy 37 year old man.
Chronic, relentless AL abuse certainly will.
Today, I'm choosing to understand that I am not perfect, and fortunately for me, I can make all sorts of mistakes that have almost no ramifications at all. There are all sorts of areas of my life that are designed to to bend, but not break. If I insist on beating myself up every time I make the slightest misstep, I'll break. And when I break, I drink.
Day 3. A good day. :thanks:
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