Day 3: Proper Perspective

[e-g-73]

Day 3: Proper Perspective

I was so much like you! Carefully watching what I ate, but drinking myself to bed every night (wine is my thing). Today is my day#2 AF - I failed my attempts before, but I was trying to do all on my own. I now shared the fact that I do not want to drink with my husband - I think this will make things easier as he is very supportive. I felt like I was spiraling out of control fast and facing the reality of dieing very fast very soon.

I feel already much better after two days AF - I am hopeful I will defeat my addiction...

Wish me luck - I will keep an eye for all your inspiring stories and posts like this one!

Take care

eg

[winetowater]

Day 3: Proper Perspective

Oh I can SO relate to this! I even work in the natural foods industry. My fridge is full of supplements, organic whole foods and up until just yesterday, multiple bottles of cheap Pinot Grigio. Last night after I got my son to bed I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt so deprived. And then I thought, wait a minute, it's just alcohol I'm cutting out. So I dug around and found the stash of candy from birthday party goodie bags, left-over Easter baskets, etc. and dug in! And I can't tell you how elated I was this morning to be throwing out starburst and laffy taffy wrappers, rather than smuggling out empty wine bottles, so that my cleaning lady wouldn't see how much I had put away. Please God let this last!

[TheDudeAbides]

Day 3: Proper Perspective

It's a really, really important point for me in terms of behavior modification. I would "justify" drinking a bottle of vodka because it didn't have any carbs, as if this was a logical, sound decision instead of eating half a dozen brownies.

And such is the power of addiction. If you allow it to be part of your decision making process, it will give you the rationale you need to perpetuate it. To choose a course of action, repeatedly, that will definitely end up destroying your life. Jail or death, eventually. Instead of eating something that might make you gain half a pound. Maybe. At worst.

Literal insanity. I think this example is powerful in that it demonstrates just how thoroughly our addiction skews and pollutes our view of reality, of the world as it exists. And how that realistic view, that sanity, returns to us over time as the addiction's active grip on is loosened, is forced to recede, as we live AF lives.

And this is why my next drink will have to get to me through a wall of Big Macs, doughnuts, chocolate cake and cheese fries. Every food on the planet is a form of harm reduction if it keeps me sober on that one critical day when nothing else might.

To wit: "I value myself and my life, even somewhat overweight, enough to choose that route before I choose active alcoholism and death." To put it like that makes my previous behavior sound so silly (and so heartbreaking), but I was not living this statement until four days ago.

[Bruunhilde]

Day 3: Proper Perspective

I had exactly the same story! I worked out like a nut after work each night, then no dinner, just alcohol, to save calories. I'd have milk before bed so my growling stomach didn't keep me awake. I'm sure lack of protein throughout the day made me crave AL more. And sure having no dinner and NO protein at breakfast did me in.

Now the ice cream and chocolate keeps the beast at the door and not in the house.

And I find I can lose very slowly eating the ice cream, just so long as I avoid the alcohol, even vodka/gin (sans ice cream) cause me to gain.

[winetowater]

Day 3: Proper Perspective

Dude, what an elegant and eloquent writer you are - very moving. I enjoy and am inspired by your posts. And I know too well the "no carbs" rationalization. I hope to take this journey with you.

Bruunhilde, thanks for your consistent responses today. I like the idea of doing whatever it takes to keep the beast at the door. Bless you!