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    #1

    De-Lurking

    I found this site awhile ago and have been hanging out reading posts.

    Decided it was time to get more involved. I'm amazed that there are so many with similar experiences. Good to know I don't have to fight this battle alone.
    I started drinking when I was about 15 (35 years), having been drinking steady ever since.

    My father was an alcoholic, killed him when I was 17, guess I should have taken the hint, carried on as if it would never effect me, figured I could handle it.

    All the problems I've had in my life were a direct result of my drinking. No matter how bad things got I couldn't stop. 2 DUI's within 1 week, I blew .28 thank god I never hurt anyone. I said to the cop " I've drinking and driving for years, my are you picking on me now"..oops...definitely didn't help my case.

    Unfortunately my wife passed away suddenly about 4 years ago & went downhill from there.

    My health has always pretty good, never felt any serious physical problems from the alcohol until recently. The fingers on my hands started to fuse together and cramp up. I would physically have to spread them apart. No pain but was really weird. I was also getting a strong tingling sensation in my hands and legs. I did some research and came up with alcoholic neuropathy, basically nerve damage from the drinking and lack of B vitamins. I would drink and not eat well. I haven't been to the Dr yet so am not sure if that's what it is, but the symptoms are all there.

    I first stopped drinking May 12 and really wasn't finding it all that hard. June 13 was my 50th birthday and figured I could have a couple of beer to celebrate. NOT!!!
    Got back into it hard and heavy, I definitely can't moderate. I realize now that I can't do this on my own.

    I'm now AF 19 days 7 hrs 51 mins & 29. secs, but hey...who's counting.

    This time has been alot more difficult. the physical withdrawls weren't to bad, but the emotional withdrawls are driving me crazy, I have trouble sleeping, can't concentrate, feel dumb as a rock at work sometimes. I feel like I have lost my best friend. I look forward to getting to you all better, the support here is incredible.

    Kev
    Definition of Insanity
    Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
    Tags: None
    #2
    De-Lurking

    Kev,

    Congratulations on 19 days +!! That's really great.

    From what I gather, this battle requires an all out effort. Being on the boards, supplements, reading, exercising, eating well, maybe AA or another kind of therapy/support group...if you look at the people here who have been successful for a long time, they post a lot, they have made plans that they stick to, developed routines that support sobriety...like meditating in the mornings, writing out gratitudes. Believe me, I'm talking to myself as much as to you, I have had a very hard time getting off AL, too. The emotional part is very hard but as I understand it, it gets easier with time.

    Stay close to this place, and I will, too! There's a lot of support here.

    Crazy

    Comment

      #3
      De-Lurking

      Hi and welcome pr-kev, as you know this is a great community with lots of help and support from people who know what your going through,we have all/are been there, post your thoughts and feelings and read as much as you can,there is a tool box in the monthly abstinence thread well worth a look,don't forget to give yourself a chance as it can be a long tough journey. :-)


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

      Comment

        #4
        De-Lurking

        Welcome PR_Kev....

        None of us can do this alone. God knows I sure tried. And failed. A lot.

        This is an incredible community of compassionate and wise people, who've been there, done that. Many here are still struggling, but they are hanging in there, and coming back to the surface even when they get pulled down.

        Today, YOU gave me an early birthday gift. After reading your post, something clicked inside my head. For the first time, I was able to say to myself, without fear - or doubt -

        I will NOT drink again - NO MATTER WHAT.

        I am still processing the feelings. There is a tinge of sadness - but there is a lot of RELIEF. I feel a sense of freedom beyond that of simply not having the poison in my body.

        Thank you, new friend. Even in your need, you gave me courage to take the next major step toward really living again.

        I encourage you to head over to the NEWBIE's NEST and hang out there. A bunch of us are coming along with about the same amount of AF time under our wings. It helps to have the support of each other along with those who are stronger and more experienced.

        I would also encourage you to get those supplements going ASAP. L-Glutamine AND Vitamin B did wonders for me in terms of quashing the cravings and clearing up the brain fog. I've been lucky to have an amazing holistic health practitioner on my 'clean-up' team. I hope you can find someone who really understands this addiction and what needs to be done to aid in the bio-chemical repair that needs to take place from your toes to the top of your head.

        We're here for each other....there is hope. I'm glad you're with us now.
        Sober for the Revolution!
        AF & NF July 23, 2011

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          #5
          De-Lurking

          PR_Kev -

          You can link to the toolbox here. It lives at the top of the Monthly Abstinence thread.

          I just crawled through all the posts again yesterday looking for help and inspiration. I've got a couple big potential trigger events coming up....my b-day, a wedding, a small vacation... I came away with some specific strategies to employ in moments of temptation.

          I cannot have just one. I just can't.
          Sober for the Revolution!
          AF & NF July 23, 2011

          Comment

            #6
            De-Lurking

            Yes, the biggest strongest tool I have and use is NO DRINKING NO MATTER WHAT. Take the choice completely off the table. Once you start doing this it become almost automatic. Your mind will have to figure out a new way to deal with life. When you truly and honestly take the choice out of the equation you will be amazed at how much easier it is to say no to AL.

            Welcome and hope to see you posting here often. That also helps tons!
            AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

            Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

            Comment

              #7
              De-Lurking

              Thanks all for the warm welcome....
              Definition of Insanity
              Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

              Comment

                #8
                De-Lurking

                Hi and Welcome PR_Kev,
                This is a wonderful with lots of support, all you have to do is ask.
                Congratulations on every day AF so far, that is a hug achievement.
                You can do this friend!

                Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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