Hello everyone,
I read daily on here, but haven't posted in a while. I had to grab my phone to look through my calender to count the days of being AF. I skipped right past my 30 mark goal to 35 as of today. Each day is an accomplishment.
With all that is going on in my life just in the past month, I know if I was in my old routine clinging to a bottle the outcome would be down depressing and horrible. It's amazing what stress and life factors can occure and how much different it is to face those challenges with a sober mind. I have to say, I am very very happy in my decision to quit, grow and force myself to be where I am at now. I am not the only thing benefiting from this, and that's a huge eye opener.
I am starting life over again in a new direction. As of 10 days ago I am officialy a single mother caring for my 2 children. What a hell it has been not only being trapped in my addiction to AL, but trapped in an abusive relationship as well. I could have not had the courage to save myself and kid's from the insanity without facing my own self. As I got sober and started my recovery, a lot of things were revealed to me that have always been there just I couldn't or didn't want to see. Denial comes in many many forms. Denial of a relationship that was both physicaly and emotionaly abusive seemed 'normal' to me and really I thought I deserved it so I covered it up and hid it.
Many new journey's are beginning. I am facing head on things I should have done a long time ago. It's not easy, but it is right and healthy and when I break down sometimes, it's in moments of tears that strengthen me, not of self pitty and feelings of worthlessness. My life is becoming about making and acting on choices as I evaluate the situation, not of my emotions or temperary feelings.
Thank you MWO for all the support and wonderful things on here. This place and being honest with myself truely combined has saved my life, and I finaly believe I am a life worth saving and happiness is a choice of my own.
I read daily on here, but haven't posted in a while. I had to grab my phone to look through my calender to count the days of being AF. I skipped right past my 30 mark goal to 35 as of today. Each day is an accomplishment.
With all that is going on in my life just in the past month, I know if I was in my old routine clinging to a bottle the outcome would be down depressing and horrible. It's amazing what stress and life factors can occure and how much different it is to face those challenges with a sober mind. I have to say, I am very very happy in my decision to quit, grow and force myself to be where I am at now. I am not the only thing benefiting from this, and that's a huge eye opener.
I am starting life over again in a new direction. As of 10 days ago I am officialy a single mother caring for my 2 children. What a hell it has been not only being trapped in my addiction to AL, but trapped in an abusive relationship as well. I could have not had the courage to save myself and kid's from the insanity without facing my own self. As I got sober and started my recovery, a lot of things were revealed to me that have always been there just I couldn't or didn't want to see. Denial comes in many many forms. Denial of a relationship that was both physicaly and emotionaly abusive seemed 'normal' to me and really I thought I deserved it so I covered it up and hid it.
Many new journey's are beginning. I am facing head on things I should have done a long time ago. It's not easy, but it is right and healthy and when I break down sometimes, it's in moments of tears that strengthen me, not of self pitty and feelings of worthlessness. My life is becoming about making and acting on choices as I evaluate the situation, not of my emotions or temperary feelings.
Thank you MWO for all the support and wonderful things on here. This place and being honest with myself truely combined has saved my life, and I finaly believe I am a life worth saving and happiness is a choice of my own.
Comment