This morning I finally admitted to my fiancee (and myself) that I have a drinking problem.
I've been a social drinker since fifteen or so, but I didn't really start drinking hard alcohol or drinking solo until I moved to Los Angeles almost seven years ago. With one six month exception, I've been downing vodka nightly for most of that time. While I usually only get mildly drunk at home, I've had several humiliating incidents in the last year at parties where my vodka consumption has caused passing out, blackouts, or both. Despite the fact that I told myself for a week that I was only going to drink beer at my engagement party, that I was going to pace myself, and that I wasn't going to have an incident, once they broke out the vodka, I proceeded to drink so much that I blacked out and, although apparently I didn't do anything too terrible or embarassing, thank God, I still basically missed half of the party... and then I was so depressed about it this morning that I had two shots of vodka before eight o'clock.
I'm done with the shameful, depressing, horrible mornings after, I'm done with having to do damage control and apologize to my fiancee, friends, and family for things I said and how I acted when I was drunk, and I'm done with missing out on big events that won't come around again because I feel the need to drink so much that my mind can't handle it. I'm just done with alcohol, period.
This is Day One.
I've been a social drinker since fifteen or so, but I didn't really start drinking hard alcohol or drinking solo until I moved to Los Angeles almost seven years ago. With one six month exception, I've been downing vodka nightly for most of that time. While I usually only get mildly drunk at home, I've had several humiliating incidents in the last year at parties where my vodka consumption has caused passing out, blackouts, or both. Despite the fact that I told myself for a week that I was only going to drink beer at my engagement party, that I was going to pace myself, and that I wasn't going to have an incident, once they broke out the vodka, I proceeded to drink so much that I blacked out and, although apparently I didn't do anything too terrible or embarassing, thank God, I still basically missed half of the party... and then I was so depressed about it this morning that I had two shots of vodka before eight o'clock.
I'm done with the shameful, depressing, horrible mornings after, I'm done with having to do damage control and apologize to my fiancee, friends, and family for things I said and how I acted when I was drunk, and I'm done with missing out on big events that won't come around again because I feel the need to drink so much that my mind can't handle it. I'm just done with alcohol, period.
This is Day One.
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