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Here again day 1

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    Here again day 1

    I feel so stupid here I am once more day one again, well if I'm honest I have had to have a small shot of wine as hair of the dog, I thought buying Brandy on Sunday would be a good idea and here I am Tuesday having drank half a bottle last night with a couple of wine shots thrown in for good measure trying to sober up enough to meet up with friends so we can take the children out for the day when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa...

    Why do I do this, I know how much happier I am when I'm sober, so why do I always listen to my stupid drink mind when it tells me I'm fine and deserve a drink......

    It has to stop, I know it does, yes I'm an alcoholic I know that but why do I give in to my demon?
    WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


    Just taking it day by day.......

    #2
    Here again day 1

    Oh LIS,

    Why do we do this to ourselves, wish I had the answer, hun.

    Glad you found your way back and ready to give this another go.

    Time to revisit the toolbox, perhaps. Checking in daily has been a life saver for me.

    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

    Just try and get through today as best you can, try and get a decent nights sleep ( I know, I know easier said than done)and get plenty of fluids down you.

    Get a plan in place and then you're ready for anything.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment


      #3
      Here again day 1

      LIS,
      Glad you are back!
      Knowing & accepting the fact that you just cannot drink safely is the key. You will find the strength to stop repeating this pattern when you accept the truth - I did

      Promise yourself that you will buy no more AL - ever!
      Dump any you have left in the house. Get serious about this now!

      You can do it, a lot of us have

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        #4
        Here again day 1

        I'm glad that you're here.

        Comment


          #5
          Here again day 1

          Glad you're here too. Just don't beat yourself up about it. You can start again time and time again, and while it sometimes feels like your fighting a loosing battle....Every day 1 is a victory. So welcome back. Dont keep a tally of your sober days.... I did and its counter - productive. See every day as a fresh start and every day you'll be more and more fresh as a result and then hopefully we can all rid ourselves of this poison .

          Love Dave x
          x
          --
          Not AF yet....but working on it :no:
          http://davediaryofanalcoholic.blogspot.com/

          Comment


            #6
            Here again day 1

            I'm with you....stop me if you've heard this one before; functional alcoholic stops lying to himself and gives up booze for 20 days, its very tough at first, physically and mentally draining but he knows he needs to do it, believe it or not he starts to feel better at about the 20 days, and then has a moment where he listens to inner voice saying that he can moderate his drinking, which he does, very successfully for oh, 7 days, and then can't moderate anything and goes into full bender territory----you sure you haven't heard it this one before????? I have as its my life and I am back at day 2 again having fooled no one but myself as to how my drinking would end,,as it always does: badly.....so here we go again....got through day one with help of all of you...thanks.....encouraged by a comment that the only reason infants learn to walk is they don't accept their falling down while toddling as their fate....he we go, again.,,,which still beats drinking myself to death.

            Comment


              #7
              Here again day 1

              Here's another thought of mine.

              "Why do I do this"
              "why do I always listen to my stupid drink mind"
              "why do I give in to my demon?"

              If a booming voice came down from the sky and said, "You do this because you had an alcoholic father and a passive mother," or "You give in to your drink mind because alcohol has rewired your brain to believe that you need alcohol just like you need food and water," or any other explanation as to "why", would it stop you from drinking?

              I think "why" is an interesting question, but what does it change? I think the real question is "how." How are you going to stop doing this, how are you going to stop giving in to your drink mind/demon? Because you know that you will. You know you will. How do you stop? What are you going to do differently to make it happen? What tools are you going to use? Something has to change because the status quo is going to keep you right where you're at. Read the tool box and make a plan.

              Comment


                #8
                Here again day 1

                Thanks for ythe advice and support guys:l

                I had such a good day out with the kids but just couldn't shake the thought of how better it would have been if I hadn't have still been drunk from last night coupled with being paraniod my friend could smell it on me.

                Off to bed with a book and a huge water or some posh fizzy juice and looking forward to sleeping off the nausea that I've had all day..... and a read of the Toolbox

                love to you all:l
                WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


                Just taking it day by day.......

                Comment


                  #9
                  Here again day 1

                  It is a dangerous game we all play. A game in which we are not in control. A game where there is no winner... just all losers. A game I have played for over 15 years and don't even understand why I am playing. Back to day 1 after almost a month of figuring out how to beat it!

                  Conquering day 1.... AGAIN>>>

                  Enough!
                  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Albert Einstein

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Here again day 1

                    LIS,
                    As they have all said just keep going forward. The fact that you have gone periods of time AF shows that you have what it takes. You can do this and you will love yourself for every day that you are AF. Don't discount all you have accomplished. You are magnificent and you can do this!

                    Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Here again day 1

                      thanks

                      one of the things im trying to push to the back of my mind this time is failing in the past, i'm having trouble getting my mind around that at the moment for some reason

                      just taking it moment by moment now not thinking too far in the future or into the past
                      WHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..


                      Just taking it day by day.......

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Here again day 1

                        Dearest LIS,

                        Do what's in front of you: don't look back, and don't look forward. Keep moving, and stay distracted.

                        I'm afraid of failing, too, but the more AF days I have behind me, the less scared I am. I believe it's possible to live an AF life.

                        :l Juja
                        "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Here again day 1

                          Great advice from Juja! Failing isn't the end unless you decide to make it the end. Just like a diet isn't blown by eating one cupcake, sobriety isn't over unless you decide that if you have a slip you may as well just keep on drinking.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Here again day 1

                            Enough!;1160968 wrote: It is a dangerous game we all play. A game in which we are not in control. A game where there is no winner... just all losers. A game I have played for over 15 years and don't even understand why I am playing. Back to day 1 after almost a month of figuring out how to beat it!

                            Conquering day 1.... AGAIN>>>

                            Enough!
                            You ain't toast yet, and we sure as hell won't let you get stuck in the toaster!:h

                            What's your plan for tomorrow?
                            "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Here again day 1

                              LIS - Sorry........I just saw your post tonight or I would have responded sooner. I don't know why we do the things we do. I do know that you will get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Some really good advice from others on the thread. As Lav says, its time to get serious. I don't believe we have a choice about how much we drink once we start but I do believe we have a choice whether we take the first drink. I think it gets easier with time but I still struggle too....just not as much as I did when I started posting on this site.

                              Don't look back, just keep on moving! You can do this!!!!!!!!!

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