Sorry if I'm over-using the forum at the moment, I just cannot get to sleep and the best way not to think about alcohol is to talk about it!
Something strange happened today. I am a former smoker (like my drinking, never a lot but something I have struggled to make a clean break from ever since I started), but I am now cigarette-free for over 8 months, and I don't miss it at all. My lungs are clearer, I go to the gym regularly, and food tastes better. But today, on my fourth AF day, I began to taste nicotine in my mouth! I thought it was unusual to get a craving after so long, but put it down to my system cleaning itself out, and there was some residue of nicotine in there somewhere.
But then, I gave my OH a kiss on my way out the door, and she tasted smoke! She is convinced now that I am smoking, it was that real! I simply cannot understand this - I thought it was just a craving but it seems something smoky from deep within me made it into my mouth after all these months smoke-free, and it can't be just a coincidence that I have just stopped smoking, surely?
By the way, it hasn't helped my difficult Day 4 that my OH is accusing me of smoking, and then lying when I told her I'm not. I haven't told her that I stopped drinking because I don't want to confess to having an alcohol problem, but I was having a bad enough day as it was, and now to be accused of something I did not do - I am now experiencing cravings for both drink AND nicotine, and I have not felt the urge to light up in many months.
Thanks for letting me vent here, it helps!:bang
Comment