Day 1 -- want support!
@Meggie, maybe I will continue posting here for awhile. I know that everyone has a unique way of dealing with AL and going AF or modding. For me, I need to be accountable to someone to whom I can be totally honest. I have a phone appointment with the coach on Thursday morning as well as unlimited email support. Frankly I don't need so much from him as I do to just know there's someone out there who knows what I'm doing. He's definitely on my wavelength and wants to help -- and I want the help -- so I've been brutally honest with him.
As I think I mentioned, his thing is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which focuses on what you want, instead of what you don't want (as in wanting to be in great shape instead of wanting to NOT drink). I think this is the technique that has most resonated for me so far.
My new Day 1 was fine but slow. I'm tired of being 30 lbs overweight and tired all the time. Tired of missing things I want to do because I'm too drunk or smelly. Tired of blowing up in an inappropriate rage at someone I don't even know -- on the phone, Internet and in the car. Horrified that I have driven impaired and frankly had one accident because of it. And especially tired of wasting the last six years of my life after an amazing career change and success. Tired of watching my appearance go down the toilet when I once took so much pride in it.
One health wake-up call was that my blood pressure rose recently, from 90/60 when I was AF to 130/110. Also yesterday my arm broke out in a weird subcutaneous rash that must be related to AL. I am certain I'm catching this soon enough that a lifestyle change can reverse any damage I've done. My mom drank until she was 70, and her health problems started showing up at 80 (she's 90 now). When she quit, she had a bleeding ulcer. It was only recently discovered that her stomach must have ripped loose from its moorings around then and had been floating around up near her collarbone, so she had to undergo major surgery for that. Her right ankle is useless -- she can't hold her foot at a right angle because of AL-related malnutrition disorder called "foot drop." And there are remnants of scars all over her from falling against the oven door and cutting herself on tin cans of food she was opening.
So it's time for me to appreciate all that I have -- a great education, professional success, and good genes -- while I'm young enough still to get healthy again. Off to the gym now.
@Meggie, maybe I will continue posting here for awhile. I know that everyone has a unique way of dealing with AL and going AF or modding. For me, I need to be accountable to someone to whom I can be totally honest. I have a phone appointment with the coach on Thursday morning as well as unlimited email support. Frankly I don't need so much from him as I do to just know there's someone out there who knows what I'm doing. He's definitely on my wavelength and wants to help -- and I want the help -- so I've been brutally honest with him.
As I think I mentioned, his thing is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which focuses on what you want, instead of what you don't want (as in wanting to be in great shape instead of wanting to NOT drink). I think this is the technique that has most resonated for me so far.
My new Day 1 was fine but slow. I'm tired of being 30 lbs overweight and tired all the time. Tired of missing things I want to do because I'm too drunk or smelly. Tired of blowing up in an inappropriate rage at someone I don't even know -- on the phone, Internet and in the car. Horrified that I have driven impaired and frankly had one accident because of it. And especially tired of wasting the last six years of my life after an amazing career change and success. Tired of watching my appearance go down the toilet when I once took so much pride in it.
One health wake-up call was that my blood pressure rose recently, from 90/60 when I was AF to 130/110. Also yesterday my arm broke out in a weird subcutaneous rash that must be related to AL. I am certain I'm catching this soon enough that a lifestyle change can reverse any damage I've done. My mom drank until she was 70, and her health problems started showing up at 80 (she's 90 now). When she quit, she had a bleeding ulcer. It was only recently discovered that her stomach must have ripped loose from its moorings around then and had been floating around up near her collarbone, so she had to undergo major surgery for that. Her right ankle is useless -- she can't hold her foot at a right angle because of AL-related malnutrition disorder called "foot drop." And there are remnants of scars all over her from falling against the oven door and cutting herself on tin cans of food she was opening.
So it's time for me to appreciate all that I have -- a great education, professional success, and good genes -- while I'm young enough still to get healthy again. Off to the gym now.
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