Day 1 -- want support!

[crimsons]

It's my day 1 , and I've got a plan. Some professional support too -- there's actually a "sober coach" out there I spoke with this morning. I loved his intelligent attitude, and downloaded his free e-book that's full of exercises. If he has an affordable email coaching plan, I'm going for it -- I need daily support and accountability.

Unbelievably I'd never gotten a DUI or lost work or family. I just want to change my lifestyle to a healthy one in every way.

I'd really gone over the deep end, drinking around the clock. I live alone and work alone at home. I'm a writer. Anyone watch "Californication?" Well, I *am* the female Hank Moody. I've spent the day nursing a terrible hangover and planning how to finally get my shiz together. Definitely want to do this privately for a variety of reasons. Fortunately I live in a great, self-contained apartment complex complete with a gym/pool/jacuzzi so I've decided to leave it for the first week only to go to doctor appts (had plastic surgery this summer), evening Weight Watchers meetings, and only grocery shop in the early morning, as one of my favorite bars starts serving up beer and wine at 8 am -- and a surprising number of people are there. Argh! No more! There is a fabulous farmers market Fridays at 7 am, so I'm going to make that a habit.

I want to lose 25 lbs. as well, but I'm going to start out with a sensible 7 lbs. at the suggestion of the Weight Watchers coach. I'm 51, and I can tell my health is going downhill soon if I don't stop this nonsense. Since I have no spouse, structure or schedule, I'm putting every activity in my calendar without overdoing it. One mistake with past attempts was to schedule myself into a corner, and of course then I just said what the heck and went back to drinking.

Now, I did go on a water-only fast and lost 18 lbs last month. Curiously, I didn't miss the wine one bit, nor was I tempted to go into the bars. However, the success of that was mostly due to having an online coach I talked with daily. Unbelievably my blood pressure was 90/60 at the end, my skin looked great and I felt much better. And then I hit the bars again -- not for any particular reason.

What are your triggers? Mine are medicating a hangover, walking past bars at happy hour , and being out and about for hours without a healthy snack or NA drink along with me. I'm determined to avoid that by pretending my apartment complex is a fancy spa. I'm really depending on this community to help me stay on track. Looking forward to feeling better tomorrow morning.

[tonstantweader]

Day 1 -- want support!

Hi Crimsons, and welcome, or welcome back? You sound as if you are determined and have a good plan. I've only been on here a short time, so I will let some of the more experienced MWO members give you their great advice, but I just want to say that I have found the help, support, and advice here to be the only thing that has kept me sober for the last 16 days. Luckily I don't live in a place where I can walk by bars; I know that would be very hard for me. My triggers are the evening when I want to cook with a glass of wine in my hand that is constantly refilled until I run out of alcohol. I also have work friends who like to gather occasionally at a local bar, so I have to guard against going there with them. I also like wine when I go out to dinner, so that is major trigger for me. I find taking L-glut around 2:30 or 3 in the afternoon helps ward off these cravings, and they are lessening each day I am sober.

Anyway, welcome aboard!

[Pink Angel]

Day 1 -- want support!

Wow what a fantastic plan. Good for you being so pro active. I hope you go well. Just remember to keep your water intake up and get plenty of sleep. Exercise is a natural anti depressant so go hard and good luck!!

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

Hi tonstantweader, thanks for your response and congrats! Sounds like you're doing great. I will try the L-glut; how much do you take? Fortunately since I live alone, I have control over booze/food in the house, and it is currently AF.

This is not my first time indeed, I've been a heavy drinker for 30+ years but have great genes so I always bounced back. I just had a show based on a book I wrote picked up by one of the top 5 cable channels as a TV series, so I have incentive as this will lead to meetings. For being such a disorganized longtime boozer, life is actually going pretty well, but I know it's a matter of time til it isn't.

The bar thing is tough. I live right on Venice Beach in LA and it's the drunken frat-boy epicenter of the universe. However, when I was fasting or dieting earlier this year, the desire subsided after a few days and I could take my beach walks.

Whenever I've cooked with a glass (or bottle, or two,) of wine, I have always destroyed the recipe. You must be very skilled! I'm thinking I should probably stay away from social events where there's booze too. Traditionally I drink selzer for an hour and then order 20 martinis. I'm hungover so going easy today, but I'm going to do 30 minutes of gym-cardio and then go to an evening Weight Watchers meeting.

[Lavande]

Day 1 -- want support!

H crimsons & welcome back!

We are available for support here of course & the Tool Box is full of great ideas to help you expand your plan. I would really like to hear what your Sober Coach has to say......that's interesting!

Common triggers are realted to the HALT acronym:
H - hungry
A - angry
L - lonely
T - tired

I can tell you that for me it had a lot to do with chronic anxiety & depression too. We each need to be honest, search for our own particular triggers & plan on healthier alternatives to drinking.

Please drop in the newbies Nest thread for more support

Wishing you the best!

Lav

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

Hi Pink, thanks for the encouragement! And for the reminder about water. I'm going to make sure to take some to the Weight Watchers meeting tonight. Sleep, fortunately, isn't a problem. I found a homeopathic remedy that is great for ladies my age after 30 years of insomnia. I spent the summer "retrofitting" myself -- eyelid and brow lifts, lots of laser treatments, my first after-50 colonoscopy (oh boy), a physical exam, lost some weight already. But I guess the slow healing of the surgery and my mom's 90th birthday got me depressed and I hit the bottle pretty hard. I am aiming for a 40-day AF and then will go from there. Maybe abstain forever given my history but I'll decide later. I'm looking at this as a "healthy-lifestyle makover," not just going AF. Once this last chemical peel heals I think I feel a lot more upbeat. There's nothing like looking like a fat, rotting red onion at age 51 to inspire alcohol abuse.

Lavande, I have spent a lot of time in the toolbox and it is great. And you're SO right about the HALT thing. As I live in LA, anytime I have to drive anywhere and it takes an hour or more, I become all of those things. That is *definitely* a huge trigger. And lonely is a circular problem, as the more I drank, the more embarrassed I got and the more I stayed home. I am happy to see more alternative, intelligent solutions to alcohol abuse popping up. I found this guy online, read his free e-book, and he spent 40 minutes with me on the phone for free. I'm not bashing AA is it's helped many of my friends -- and it's free and everywhere -- but I didn't like it for me. This is an oversimplification, but his theory is that you have the power of choice and need to change ingrained belief systems. The e-book and workbook are substantial and will take quite awhile to complete, so it's not a quick fix. But then it took me a half-century to get this way. Are we allowed to post links here? I can send you his URL if it's OK.

[Doggygirl]

Day 1 -- want support!

:welcome: crimsons! I have been a work from home person for a number of years myself, and the "freedom" to drink at any time caught up with me too. Ironic how that "freedom" put me squarely in prison with the ball and chain of AL firmly around my ankle.

Anyway, good for you getting a plan together! Sounds like you have some very positive things lined up.

The one comment I will make is about doing this alone and in secret. I too clung to my "image" and didn't want anyone in my real life to know of my private struggle. For myself, I was not able to find true liberation from my disease until I let go of that to some degree. When the only people who *knew* were on the internet, I had a very wide open door to fail (BS myself) through.

I can't say what your journey will be like - I can only share my own. It wasn't as tightly organized and "on plan" as I thought it was going to be. This journey has changed me for sure. (for the better I think!) All I can suggest is a very open mind.

Anyway...all the best to you.

DG

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

OK, I looked over the rules and also found some other URLs posted, so here's the sober coach:
Highstead Alcohol Treatment
I realize his approach is probably controversial, but there it is. At the very least, I'm going to use his workbook. It's free, after all. And I also recognize that the guy's business looks a little slick -- but then again, he *is* in business at least partly to make dough. I do have a hard time believing that's his real name, but who knows? If what he said is true, and I take everything with a grain of salt, his highest-end private coaching involves his making "house calls" internationally, which is waaay out of my price range. I think that part might be a marketing strategy to make you think the phone/email coaching is a bargain. If any of it can help me, great. Anyway, I'm heaving this sorry belly down to the gym. I may need a wheelbarrow.

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

Doggygirl, thanks for your message...and what a cute doggy indeed! That is a great remark you made indeed about keeping it secret and you're right. I did confide in four friends and my brother, who reduced his intake to about 1x per week after the poor guy had...a mastectomy. My mom knows too, as she sobered up about 20 years ago. Think I'm past the denial stage too as I really want to live healthy. As I talked with the sober coach this morning and confessed to the frequency of morning and alone drinking and also driving, I though "good heavens, listen to me! I have a serious problem..."

But meetings are an issue for me. Participation in public meetings is not always so anonymous, especially not for me as an author. And believe it or not, it actually been used as ammo in court cases, which is totally wrong, but it's happened. Even though it's *the* great networking resource in Hollywood -- really! -- I'd rather keep it among people I know and trust. But from past experience, I do need a daily support system.

[meggie]

Day 1 -- want support!

I am 54, I have drank on and off, more on for the last 12 years. I quit for a year and then tell myself I can moderate. Well, I buy the gin and drink a sixth of the bottle and wake up feeling like crap. I hate the feeling. I do have a problem with sleep and am interested in your sleep remedy. I have also gained about 20 pounds in the last 4 years. Nothing fits, I hate my stomach, I am on day 3, starting again. Good luck to you, I hate the feeling of something having control over me.

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

Meggie, it's two things; a remedy called "Lachesis," and "Sleep Remedy" spray made by Bach. The first is available at holistic pharmacies (some are online, like Hahneman Labs) and you take a couple of the tiny pellets ever week. The second you get at health food stores and can use as much as you want. Both are completely legal and over-the-counter. The only things you're supposed to avoid as much as possible with the first are coffee/decaf and anything with menthol, like lip balm or Vapo-Rub. Not dangerous, it just weakens the effect. Both are inexpensive. It took about 10 days til I noticed a difference.

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

End of Day 1 AF. In my 'jammies with no AL in the house. Thanks guys!

[tonstantweader]

Day 1 -- want support!

Hi Crimsons - I loved the line about heaving your belly to the gym! I would say that as long as you can afford this treatment and if it helps get you through and isn't harmful, go for it! I have found that when I give up the alcohol, day by day my mood changes. I become more confident, less insecure and nervous, and so I am more able to venture out to do things I wouldn't normally do, and I tend to be less reclusive. I have just started to tell a few close friends and relatives. Well, to be honest, my husband and my sister are the only ones who know, but i am THINKING of telling a few more people. I agree that by not telling people we may be protecting ourselves from failure, but I am also a fairly private person and I just don't want everyone to know my business.

Anyway, keep it up and keep coming here.

[crimsons]

Day 1 -- want support!

Start of Day 2. Boy, do I feel better this morning. I did quite a bit of the sober coach's notebook, and it's based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -- identifying and focusing on what you want and other positives instead of what you're *not* doing and what you're trying "not* to do.

I think I'm going to wait on working with this coach. Some anxiety comes from financial stress and there are self-help resources for CBT. Most of what I would get from him is email support, but if I can do that at MWO for free, I'm going to stick with you guys for now. I also have the accountability of Weight Watchers -- so I might be "over-medicating" with coaching!

Today I have a business dinner tonight. After doing some of those CBT exercises I started thinking about it differently. Instead of thinking of it as an opportunity to consume alcohol and the stress that comes along with it, my thinking changed to an opp to be social and make a connection while treating myself to a healthful meal. I already checked the menu and plotted what I'm going to order, including a giant bottle of Pellegrino.

[tonstantweader]

Day 1 -- want support!

Crimsons,
I think that focusing on the positive is a good step. When I find myself overwhelmed with thinking about drinking, not drinking, making it through the day AF, all those little thoughts that nag at us, I try to stop, look around and just appreciate that I'm sober, I feel good, and that it's a great day. And planning ahead is good too, especially having that plan of what you are going to order when you get to the restaurant. It is very easy to fall into old habits if we aren't prepared.